Fire And Flames
by HordeFighter
Summary: Katniss's life is nothing but peaceful, she loves peeta and things are good, but what happens when Gale moves back and tells kat he loves her, she rejects him, Can Gale accept the fact she love Peeta or will he kick her out of his life forever. Please R&R
1. Peace

I dont now own anything, not the hunger games storyline or the characters, setting none of that. Although i wish i did so i didn't have to work anymore.

Fire and Flames

Chapter One

Peace

I sat on the large leather couch with my feet curled under me and a wool blanket draped over my cold body. I was never a fan of the winter season. I hated the chilly feeling I would get when I stepped foot outside and allow the cold to slap me in the face. I much rather be warm then cold, I hated the winter season so much. Hell nobody was a fan of the chilly season, it use to mean starvation, death and so many other things, but not anymore. Now it was just another season taking it's toll on the large spinning planet known as earth. No nothing is like how it used to be, Death would not take lives because of lack of food or because we didn't have enough clothing to keep us warm during this season.

Since the Capitol has been gone District 12 and so many others districts are actually treated like human beings and not like animals. The new people in charge of the captiol has been taking care of their districts giving them plenty of food, water, warm clothes and shoes. It has been wonderful. Like they say out with the old in with the new, one of my favorite statements. It was offical the capitol was gone and it was all thanks to me. Well not just me, but the people that had the nerve to stand up for what was right and what they believed in, people who were sick and tired of being treated like someone's entertainment, someone's toy, something that was owned. I will say this straight up, nobody could ever in their wildest dreams own me. I am as many other people may say...My own person.

It's been five years and all I've wanted to do was start over fresh, leave all the memories, all the pain behind me. So far I have been doing good, but sometimes nightmares creep into the back of my mind and I wake up with sweat all over my body, pains in my neck and arms, My breath sometimes is ragged and heavy. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it is still there lingering in the back of my mind waiting for a chance to creep up and attack me. Since the battles and wars I am proud to say my life is going in a pretty good direction I still live at the house in the victorys village. As much as I hated the capitol and want to erase them from my mind I did manage to keep the house they gave me for winning the Hunger Games and of course I kept all the money which would probably last me for the rest of my life; so overall I am doing pretty good for the most part.

Haymitch and Peeta still live next to me although I barely see Haymitch anymore, his house is always locked tight up, I really think he is trying to quit drinking just because when I do see him he is cleaner and has more manners, What a shocker that is. Maybe him being locked up in his house all the time proves me right I mean what else would he be doing in there? A bunch of things I suppose, But still I just have this feeling and my feelings usually are right most of the time.

As for Peeta; He is always at the bakery baking cheese buns, cookies or something that has a thousand calories. He is really good to me, he comes over everyday just to check on me and make sure I am not doing anything crazy or out of the ordinary, They think I have a large case of depression can you believe it? After five long years they still think I am still a looney toon.

I will admit I used to be, but not anymore, not like it used to be when I first came home. I"m not at all depressed, but I won't lie there are times where I would just cry out because of my sister, because of my father and mother, and just because of everything I have been through. And I will admit I will never get over the fact that my family has been ripped apart never to be rebuilt again. My father and little sister were dead and there was nothing I could do about it, My mother last I heard she was practicing medicine somewhere in 13 or 11 I'm not sure which, but I haven't spoken to her in five years and it was going to stay like that.

A chilly breeze makes it's way over to me and blows over my body, I shiver and tightened the hold I have on my wool blanket and snuggle deeper into the leather couch. I wish Peeta was here I needed his strong arms around me, his heavenly scent and his warm body pressed right up against me. I loved the way he comforts me or the way he would rob me of shy kisses when I least expected it, My feelings for Peeta hasn't changed since the wars, not one little bit. I still would protect him from anything and anyone and he would do the same for me.

I looked over at the clock it read 10:55 not as late as I thought it was, In fact it was still pretty early yet. The comfort of the couch vanished as I lifted my body off it, wrapping the blanket around my body to keep the warmth inside; I stalked towards the large window across the room and stared out into the snowy night, the sprinkles of light feathery snowflakes fell from the heavens and covered my entire front yard. My eyes scanned the landscape and came to a rest at Haymitch's house, I had a perfect view of his house when I looked out my living room window and If I were to enter the kitchen and peer out of the window on left I would be able to see Peeta's house.

I couldn't help it I just had to sneak a peek, I ventured over to the kitchen window and peered out, his lights were on, but I could see no movement inside the house. I felt like a stalker gazing down at her prays nest hoping to catch any movement so I could pounce. I thought about going over there to his house for a change, but then quickly decided against it. He would come when that clock hits 11, He would always wait until it was time for him to go to bed and then come over to sleep with me. My eyes rested on the microwave clock, it read 10:57. It was about time he turned his lights off and headed back over here. Yup just as I called it, his lights were off and it was only a matter of time before I heard a knock came at my door. Exactly at 11:00 Peeta knocked on me door which I Immediately answered it. His blue eyes rested on me and as soon as they did... I melted, I loved his eyes it was the color of the sky and he was holding a plate wrapped in tin foil in his left hand which can only be one thing... Cheese buns. I stepped sideways to allow him in, He shivered from the cold air and brushed off flakes of snow with his free hand.

"Hey Kat" He greeted me and handed me his tray of cheese buns so he could take off his large winter jacket and hang it up on the wooden coat rack located in the corner.

"Hey" I smiled at him warmly and took the cheese buns right out of his hands and rushed to the kitchen to get first dibs on them. I unraveled the foil and the heavenly smell of cheese filled my nostrils, I didn't waste anymore time, Taking a huge bite out of the bread my eyes rolled backwards and I invoulntary let out a soft moan. I was so lost in the cheesebuns that I hadn't notice Peeta until his arms came up and wrapped themselves around my waist.

"Careful those will go right to your thighs" Peeta warned.

I giggled and took the last bite of my first cheese bun and then grabbed another from the glass plate, "So I don't care you'd still love me even If I did weigh three hundred pounds" I leaned back against him so my back was against his chest, He dropped small kisses on my neck, collar bone, cheek and then the corner of my lips.

"I'd love you If you weighed two thousand pounds and spent your life in bed because you couldn't get up" Peeta told me, I almost thought he was serious there for a moment, but then he burst out laughing and let go of my waist to walk across the kitchen floor to flicker on the light.

"You know how disturbing that sounded" I lightly scolded.

"Yeah, Well It's...Kinda...sorta true" He laughed.

I rolled my eyes and finished off my second cheese bun before folding the foil back over-top of them. Peeta had left the kitchen and was now in the process of building a small fire in my fireplace. I joined him in the living room a couple minutes later and took my place back on the couch, He warmed his hands and took his place next to me.

"What did you do all day?" I asked him.

"Baked, Baked and uh baked some more. I'm really getting overwhelmed with orders. Not that it is a bad thing... I could always use a little extra money"Peeta answered me.

"Well thats good it looks like your family business will live on after all" I smiled and shifted my position so I was laying against his side with my head on his shoulder and the blanket draped over me. I loved snuggling up to his warm body, he was always warm probably because of spending all day around a hot oven. Peeta placed his arm around me and we both stared into the reddish yellow flames that burst from the fireplace.

"Have you seen Haymitch lately?" I asked Peeta.

Peeta shook his head, "No not lately why?"

"Well I'm kinda worried he hasn't come out of his house for a couple days" I said.

"Maybe he is trying to stop drinking" Peeta suggested.

"That's what I thought too" I said.

"I'm sure he is fine" Peeta kissed the top of my head and turned his attention back to the fireplace. I don't know if it was the soft glows of the fireplace or the way his sandy blonde hair fell into his face, but I had an extremely bad urge to kiss the life out of him. He hadn't given me a real hard kiss for three nights and I think i knew why. A couple nights ago we were in this same spot and in this same position, He started kissing me and one kiss led to two kisses and two kisses lead to many and eventually we ended upstairs in my bedroom where we discarded each others clothes very quickly, We tried making love that day, But I didn't make it, I couldn't make it. He didn't even get a chance to break through my barrier, He just barely tipped it and that was it for me, I just couldn't do it...It just hurt me way to much and I didn't even know why, Maybe I was a little bit more tender than most girls. I usually could deal with pain very well, But as soon as he pushed just a little bit... agonizing pain shot through my body and I had to make him stop. I was really embarassed at first and kept apologizing to him, He kept assuring me it was fine, but I could tell he was sorta bummed out and If that could all happen with just one kiss then it was possible he didn't want to start a hard kiss in fear it would lead to something else. I didn't care I really wanted him in that way to begin with and I knew he most likely wanted me in that way too.

"I love you" I told him randomly.

"I love you too" He chuckled, "Where did that come from?"

"I don't know I just love you" I titled my head up and placed a soft kiss on his lips hoping he would connect them and drive us into a deep and passionate kiss, But he didn't after my soft kiss he merely gave me a peck and continued watching the flames burst with colors. I decided to brave it and place my hand against his cheek and guide his head down so I could peck him on the lips. He didn't deny me, but pulled back after yet again a peck.

"What's the matter Peeta?" I asked him feeling a slight bit upset that he was merely giving me soft little pecks. I didn't like it when he would just peck me, I liked it when he connected our lips and drove us into a long deep kiss. I loved the feel of his lips on mine, the pressure wasn't too hard or too light.

"Nothing I'm fine Kat" He replied.

"Do you not want to kiss me?" I asked,

The corner of my lips twitched into a frown and my eyes began to fill with worry.

"Of course I want to kiss you Katniss. I just don't want go some place and end up hurting you again" Peeta replied honestly.

"It won't lead to nothing and even If it does I know I can do it this time" I wasn't about to let him win this one I was determine to convince him that I was strong enough to handle our passion.

"It's not time yet" Peeta rejected me.

"I know, but can I at least have a kiss and not one of your small pecks" I demanded.

Peeta chuckled and leaned forward, He stopped only inches from my lips and whispered, "Always so needy and clingy"

"Damn straight" I said grabbing the back of his head and crushing my lips to his in a deep passionate kiss. The kiss dragged on for what seemed like ages and suddenly a felt a surge of desire pass through my body, I leaned back until my back hit the couch, bringing him down with me so that he settled on top of me. I was surprised he allowed it to go on this far, It was when I slide my hands under his shirt and rested them on his bare back did he flinch and break the kiss... that was the wrong thing to do, my lips now felt abandoned and cold, Peeta looked down at me and grazed the side of my face with his fingers.

"Behave yourself" He muttered.

"No I don't want to "I replied.

"Don't you talk back to me young lady" Peeta teased me.

"Or what" I challenged.

Peeta connected our lips without another word, He kissed me long and hard this time and didn't break away until a loud pounding on the front door caused us to part our lips. I groaned as Peeta rolled off of me, Glancing at the clock on the wall I frowned in anger, Who in the fucking hell (Excuse my french) was pounding on my door at 12:00 at night. I got up and stalked towards the door ready to take whoever was behind that door's head off. If It was Haymitch and he was drunk I swear I was going to push that damn lush down my icy stairs and watch him roll face first into the snow. I flung opened the door and opened my mouth to yell at Haymitch as my eyes locked with the figure in front of me I closed my mouth and stared up into the eyes of My ex-friend Gale Hawthorne

"Gale?" A soon as the name escaped my mouth Peeta was by my side pushing me behind him, before I could do anything Peeta stood straight up and tried shutting the door in Gale's face, But Gale wouldn't have any of that He stuck his foot in between the door and pushed it open.

"I'm not leaving until I talk to Katniss" He said.

"Like hell your going anywhere near her after what you did" Peeta spat.

I watched the two men stare hard at each other and something in the pit of my stomach said this was not going to end well. My question was why he even came back to district 12 when his new place was in 2. I pushed Peeta aside and allowed Gale to enter, There was so many things I wanted to say to him...so many nasty things to make it specific. He pushed past Peeta and purposely bumped into his arm, Peeta hissed and slammed the door as hard as he could. I shot him an apology look, but he merely shrugged it off and stalked in the opposite direction of Gale, This really wasn't going to end well, But I had no choice in letting him in I had to know why Gale Hawthorne was pounding on my door at midnight.

To be continued...


	2. Reason

Chapter 2 Reasons

I didn't waste time in cutting right to the chance I am determine to find out why he was here after five long years of being away from his home. Five long years of working in district 2, doing god knows what with god knows who. Last I knew he was happily working with the military and making money out the ass and also rumor had it he was dating some rich witch that had taken a liking to him. I couldn't help it I was feeling a little jealous at the fact that Gale may or may not be dating someone who was not good for him. I couldn't really call him out on that subject considering the topic of dating would probably turn into a fight and that was the last thing I wanted to do with him right now.

My feelings I had for Gale were confusing and hard to deal with, so many times I have tried to hate him for his involvement with the bomb and killing, so many citizens of 12 inculding my sister Primrose and all of Peeta's family as well. Oh Peeta I looked to my right just in enough to see Peeta stalk across the room and take a seat on the large chair across from my couch. I couldn't believe he was acting so coldly towards Gale, he had slammed the door when Gale entered almost breaking the small glass window that was on top of the white door. He scared me when he got into his angry moods, I have only ever seen him get angry once in the past five years and it was something I never wanted to see again. It was right after we had come home for good, Peeta was selling some of his breads at the bakery, and some low-life drunk ass guy (Not Haymitch) came in and just started grabbing various sweets off the shelf, Peeta let that go because he thought the guy was going to pay for it. I had given him a look of insecurity as the man walked towards the counter to pay for the items he had collected.

I had been helping Peeta bake that day and stock the shelves, I was in the process of putting a plate of cookies on the shelf when the guy swaggered over to me and yanked the cookies right out of my hand. Peeta hadn't liked his behavior so he calmly walked over to him and lightly scolded the man's aggressive behavior. The man had barked back at Peeta saying he was a paying customer and that if he wanted cookies he was going to damn well have the cookies and then he snatched more off the shelf and carried it over to the counter. Peeta was ringing his things up and made the mistake of asking the man if there was anything else he needed, he grinned and stalked over to where I was stalking cheese buns on the left side of the store.

The guy placed his hand against my chest and on my butt and grinned at Peeta asking him how much it would cost him If he were to take the Baker's whore home for the night and he also asked Peeta if I was easy enough that I would spread willingly or would he have to chase me around the bedroom. I had never seen such fury in Peeta's eyes, before I knew it Peeta was beside us with almost inhuman speed, he had grabbed the guy by the collar and shoved him into one of the cheese buns shelves, then he punched him multiple times in the face, breaking the mans nose in the process. I couldn't break then apart no matter how hard I tried, Peeta just continued to beat the shit out of the man, The way he was acting was the way a career would have acted in the arena and it scared the living hell out of me knowing there was still a dark part of him lingering in the back of his mind somewhere. None of that mattered now he didn't get mad often anyway, Peeta was in fact the kindest, gentlest person in the whole world and I mean the whole world.

I lead Gale into the living room and allowed him to take a seat on the couch, he took me up on my offer, gently sitting down on the comfortable surface, cuffing his hands together, He took a deep breath and stared at me long and hard in the eyes. That was when I took the time to drink in his appearance, His hair was a lot longer and darker than usual, His muscles in his arms were three times bigger, probably because of all the lifting he had been doing the last five years in the military base or whatever; I didn't care where he got the muscles from all I cared about was why he was here and not at district 2. He sure had a lot of explaining to do and he wasn't leaving until I had a satisfying answer as to why he was here.

"What are you doing here Gale?" I broke the tense silence that had been lingering the air since the moment all three of us settled into our proper places. I glanced over at Peeta expecting to see anger in his eyes from being in the very presence of the man that may or may not be the reason his family was dead.

"I wanted to see you catnip...I missed you" He replied in a cocky tone.

I frowned at him I knew that wasn't the reason why he came all the way from 2 to 12. He was toying with me and I think he was doing it to get under my skin. The Gale Hawthorne I knew would always cut right to the chase. Was it possible that district 2 had changed him into a snobby, cocky, rude bastard. I tried to push that thought away and focus on the old Gale, The one I spent my days hunting with, The one I would share my secrets with, The one I would tell anything and everything too, he was my best friends or should I say used to be...I knew deep down something told me he wasn't the same person he had been five years ago, but then again neither was I. The wars had changed both of us for the worse in my opinion, I was a lot more aggressive when it came to the rude type of people. My senses were a lot sharper and I was always on alert even though I had no reason to be. There was no more threat for the time being and would stay that way hopefully until the end of time.

"Please Gale just cut right the chase" I demanded impatiently.

"I wanted to see my best friend" He replied with a grin.

"Enough of the games Gale now tell me" I hissed.

"Relax you will know soon enough, Now What have you been up too" He asked placing his feet on my coffee table, I frowned and then with all my strength I knocked his feet off my delicate coffee table with my small arm.

"Now Gale" I hissed.

Before Gale said anything, he turned to Peeta to stare him in the blue eyes, "Mr. Mellark Would you please excuse us" Gale demanded in almost a hissing tone. How dare Gale use that tone of voice with Peeta and demanded he be alone with me to reveal why he had come back. Whatever it was he had to say or had to tell me, he could say it in front of Peeta, But before I could get the words out Peeta rose from the chair and began stalking towards the front door, he didn't have to leave the house. I rose and stalked after him in hopes of changing his mind, I didn't want him to leave I still needed him with me.

"Peeta please don't leave" I mumbled.

"I'll be back" He smiled and grazed the side of my face with the back of his hand,

"I don't want you to go" I pouted hoping to get my own way and he would stay, I didn't want to be alone with Gale, my feelings and emotions towards him were all jumbled and I couldn't set them straight. I didn't know if I was in love with him or not, For the past five years I wondered if he was out there and what he was doing. I didn't think about him all the time though, just every once in awhile my mind would wander.

"Please don't go" I repeated with the same pout.

"You know where to find me" Peeta whispered.

"Please" I begged.

" You will be okay, you need to set things straight with him, Fix it and get your best friend back if you can" He whispered. He pulled his coat off the rack and shrugged into it. I could feel Gale's eyes boring into the back of my head, I wouldn't put it past him that he was watching everything, Every move, Every breath me and Peeta let out, he was hoping to find some sort of sign that I was forcing myself to love Peeta, but that was not the issue I wasn't faking my feelings I was head over heels in love with him and Peeta knew it. Peeta put on his heavy coat and bundled up really good, He opened the door letting the cold snowy breeze enter my house,I frowned at him and placed a hand on my hip.

"What?" He asked looking confused.

"Kiss please" I demanded.

Peeta chuckled, leaned forward and placed his now cool lips on mind, behind us I heard Gale let out a deep sigh. Peeta kissed me for a good 30 seconds before waving goodbye to me and stalking through the snowy landscape back to his house. I stood unmoving with my door wide open and the snow flowing in, Once I made sure Peeta was safely through his front door, I closed the door and turned to face Gale. I was kind of mad at Gale for sending Peeta away from the two of us. Peeta didn't seem to worry that he left me alone in a room with my ex-friend. Was that what Gale was my ex-best friend? I didn't want him to be but the wars had driven so far apart that nothing was ever going to be the same again. I returned to the living room, kneeling in front of the fire to warm my cool body, Gale was suddenly behind me throwing my wool blankets over my shoulders.

"Why are you back?" I asked him for the thousandths time today.

"It's a long story actually" Gale replied.

"I got time" I said.

"For the past five years I have been living in district two making weapons and bombs to ensure the people's safety. That way we are well stocked and prepared in case leftover people from the capitol decides to rise up and take control again, None of that has happened yet." Gale told me with a hint of relief in his voice.

"So you've been good right?" I asked.

"Oh very good thanks, Job's was going good" Gale said.

"Was?" I asked raising a confused brow.

"I quit the military base" Gale revealed.

My mouth dropped and anger began to fill my body, he had a good well paying job and he threw all that away and for what...What could possibly be so important that Gale had to up and quit a well fancy paying job. He had everything going for him in district two. I sighed heavily and stared hard at Gale.

"Why would you do that?" I frowned.

"I have spent enough time there...five years at the most. Catnip to tell you the truth I don't feel like I belong there anymore. This is were I Belong everyone I have ever loved is here. District 12 is the only place I belong, my family is here, my demons are here and...Your here"

"Gale you know we can't; we've been down this road before" I said.

"I know I'll give it time, Besides I won't screw this relationship up like I did the last one"

"We don't have a relationship" I growled. What made him think we did.

"Not yet" He said.

"Not ever" I threw at him.

"You say that now"

"Gale I can't okay, I made my choice"

"No, the Capitol made your choice when they paired you with HIM" He growled.

"I love him Gale" I told him straight up and watched as his brows dip together and create a V-shape.

"Keep telling yourself that...But I can disprove that theory" Gale was behind be before I knew what was happening, his strong hands rested on my shoulders and he dipped down to place a kiss against my neck. It sent shivers down my spine, it was a soft warm kiss, but not as gentle or as passionate as Peetas.

"Gale stop" I ordered.

"Why?

"Because we've went there before" I mumbled.

"I don't care Katniss, I really don't I'm tired of being away from you. I'm tired of being away from the place I belong...I love you Katniss and that is why I'm moving back?"

I stared at him shocked unable to process what he had just said to me. He was moving back to district 12 because he didn't belong in too District two anymore and because he kept telling himself he was in love with me, What a stupid reason to throw away such a perfect job and after five years. Gale dropped another kiss to my neck and I could do nothing but let him. My mind went blank and I didn't know what my feelings were towards him.

"Stop it" I ordered again.

"Why?" He repeated.

"Because your're not Peeta and I don't want to do this"

"I think you do want me, your just denying it"

I finally found the strength to stand, his arms fell from my shoulders and his pale face hardened, he set his jaw and ran a hand through his brown hair. My mind was spinning, my head was pounding, my hands were shaking and my vision was dipping in and out of reality.

"I can't do this with you and you know damn well why" I scolded him.

"Why because of Peeta" He spat Peeta's name with such hatred.

"I love him Gale I really, really do" I said.

"No you don't" We were facing each other, staring at each other, pushing each other to the limit. Gale took a step forwards and before I had time to reject him his lips were on mine and my hands went into his hair as an automatic response. My mind went to a different place, I became aware that I was running my hand through Peeta's soft blond hair, Yes it was all a dream, Gale didn't come back, he was away and standing right here in front of me was Peeta, His bright blue eyes staring happily into my brown ones. I ran my hand through Peeta's hair and deepened the kiss. I loved the pressure of his lips against mine, Peeta lifted me up into his arms and my legs made it around his waist. He started to carry me, but stumbled and my back slammed against the wall hard. His lips were at my neck, collarbone, cheek, lips and on my chest. Peeta that was what my mind was processing.

To be continued...

I would to thank all of you who have been reading I'm really happy that people take the time to read my ideas. One thing tho sorry about the grammar and misspelled words. My computer doesn't have a good writting system on it so I have to make do with what I have. I am trying my very best on the grammar and spelling, but I must say it is my weak point. I'm going to try to finish this that is if my computer stops giving me the blue screen does anyone know what a blue screen means away? Anyway Thanks again for reading and tell me what you think.


	3. High Emotions

Chapter Three

High Emotions

Peeta managed to carry me up my stairs, his lips were still connected with mine and his hands were under my butt. My legs were around his waist and my hands tangled in his blond hair. The feel of Peeta's lips against mine usually gave me great comfort and warmth, but right now they were uncomfortable and rough. He had never kissed me this hard before and I started wondering If he was about to have an episode. He still suffered from the tracker jacker venom and would suffer from it for the rest of his life just because of the large dose the capitol had given him. The doctors of district 13 did everything in their power to remove the affects and help him, they did for the most part manage to remove a good amount, he still has an episode every month and there was no fixing that he was going to have to live with it for the rest of his life. That was the part of him that scared me half to death and I hated to say this ,but the way he was kissing me now scared me and all I wanted him to do was stop. Something wasn't right I could feel it in my bones.

Peeta pushed open my bedroom door and roughly tossed me like a rag doll on the bed. I watched him discard his shirt, pants, shoes and socks. Something really was not right, I lay there trying the best I could to clear my mind of all thoughts and just enjoy the passionate love making that we were about to make. Peeta lay on top of me and yanked my shirt over my head, his hands were rough instead of smooth, they were almost like the hands of a coal miner. My father's hands were always rough like that,I would always ask to feel his hands right after he came out of the mines and home, I always thought by touching my fathers dirty coal hands that some of the strength, courage and tenderness he had would pass on to me. What a stupid thing to think, but I was only six at the time so it didn't really matter.

Peeta fluttered kisses on my neck, cheek and mouth, it wasn't until he placed his lips against my ear and whisper did I realize I was Hallucinating, that the man that was on top of me that I was about to make love to me was not my Peeta, then everything came back to me. Gale had never left my house, Peeta never made it back like he promised. Suddenly I came to my senses, placed my hands on Gale's chest and pushed at him with as much strength as I had, but he wouldn't stop kissing me.

"Gale stop it" I ordered.

"Katniss? what? Huh?" He seemed very confused and hurt at my behavior, but he did as I asked and rolled off of me. His breath was heavy and sweat began to form from his head. I can't believe I let him to do to me how could I have a hallucination, I am so stupid, I can't believe I almost had sex with Gale and destroyed my relationship with Peeta.

"I love him" I cried, tears streamed down my face as I looked at Gale with nothing but sorrow in my gray eyes, then my cries turned into sobs because at that moment I realized I loved Gale too' In which way I don't know, but I knew something was there I just had to figure out what it was I was feeling.

"Are you really still on that again?" Gale hissed.

"I love him" I repeated in a sob, I couldn't see straight because the tears that swelled in my eyes blurred my vision, but I could tell by the tone in his voice Gale was extremely hurt, angry and all of the above and If I recall Gale also had a flaming hot temper when he got mad, But it was nowhere near as bad as Peetas. Peeta was my little hothead.

"No you don't" Gale yelled at me, "We are meant to be with each other Catnip I love you" Gale said.

"You need to leave now" I ordered.

"No, I won't until you tell me that there is something you feel for me. The smallest grain of sand, the smallest speck of dust, give me something damn it"

I was silent for a split second and then said again, "I love him"

"He's a damn freak Katniss" Gale yelled.

"You watch your mouth" I scolded.

"It's true, he is a freak of damn nature, he almost killed you Katniss. Are you going to love someone that wants to kill you once a month. HUH" He was yelling so loudly now that it wouldn't surprise me If Haymitch and Peeta heard and came rushing over to investigate. That would be bad since Gale was half naked in my room and my shirt was off and I was in my bra.

"Don't you dare insult him, he is more of a man then you will ever be" I raised my voice at him and the tears started hard and strong again.

"Look at yourself Katniss your so head over heels in love with this prick your blind to facts"

"There is nothing wrong with him Gale"

"He is a shattered miserable soul who's goal in life is to try and kill you once every month"

"That is not his fault" I screamed.

"I don't care if it isn't his fault or not, he is still a danger to you and himself. He is the last weapon of the capitol, you deserve better than a broken mind"

As soon as the words left his mouth I positioned myself on the bed so I was facing him, raised my hand and as hard as I could I slapped him, No punched him in the mouth for calling Peeta a broken mind. What the hell did Gale know, if anyone was broken it was him. he was the one that abandoned his family, He's the one who built the bomb and killed everyone. Although I wasn't mad at him anymore for doing it, he was still the one to blame.

"Get out"

"Katniss"

"Get out now"

"Katniss Please I didn't..."

"Get the hell out Gale." I sobbed.

Gale frowned, hopped off the bed and collected his clothes from the ground. I watched him dress and as soon as he was done he came over and took a seat on the edge of the bed. I was sobbing so badly that I thought I had broken a blood vessel in my head. Gale placed a hand on my bare shoulder which I merely shrugged him off and snuggled into the deep comfort of my bed, my face was pressed into the pillow so I wouldn't have to stare Gale in the eyes.

"You lied to me" I cried.

"I never lied to you" He denied.

"You told me a long time ago that you tried hating him, but couldn't because he was a good person"

Silence. He didn't say anything.

"He is a good person Gale and that is why I love him so much. He protects me and I protect him. He never fails to make me laugh or smile. I love it when he holds me every night just to keep the nightmares of the wars away and the nightmares I have on my sister, which I don't blame you anymore. So yeah Peeta may be a lot of things. Slightly hijacked, scarred, bad tempered sometimes and the last weapon of capitol. but I love him and that will never change"

"He's not right for you Katniss and that is all I'm going to say is your making a big mistake in being with him. He's better off isolated and by himself that way he won't be a threat to you or to anyone else" Gale said.

"You just don't get it do you" He was so hard to get through too and that was only because he was thick headed and wouldn't listen to anyone, but himself.

"Get what?" He hissed.

"You can't force me to love you" I wiped the tears from my face and waited for a reply.

"You can't force yourself to love him"

"I'm not it just comes so natural"

"You know what I'm done talking to you and all I'm going to say is you single handily destroyed our friendship. I don't want anything to do with you then, I won't sit by and watch you be unhappy because of him" I know he didn't mean them because the look on his face when he said those words stung and I knew he wanted to take them back, but he couldn't. Those words hurt so much that tears began to form in my eyes and flashbacks of me and Gale hunting, hanging out and just have fun spread through my mind.

"Katniss I didn't mean..."

"Get out" I interrupted with a sob.

"I'm not leaving you like this, Catnip" Gale told me.

I turned my head to the side and spoke words he would hate," I want Peeta and don't call me catnip only my friends can call me that" I wanted Peeta so badly, I wanted him to hold me while I soak his shirt in tears, I wanted him to kiss me softly like he always does, and I wanted his warmth that for so long comforted me. I loved Peeta so much that I couldn't stand the thought of not being with him. I began sobbing again at the thought of Peeta finding out what had happened between me and Gale. He would leave me I know he will. He would leave me and I will be left with nobody except Haymitch who was like a father to me.

"I need you to leave Gale" I had to order him away, his very presence was making my head hurt, my emotions were sky high at that moment and if he didn't leave now I would have probably took a pillow and sufficated him to death without a second thought. I was so confused I didn't know what I wanted at that moment. All I knew it I wanted a friend and a lover, I need my friend as much as I needed my lover. Which one was my lover Gale or Peeta I loved them both and couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry, Catnip I really am" And with that said he exited the room leaving me a sobbing mess. I swear to god I cried for hours and hours because when I looked at the clock it read 2:00am and Peeta still hadn't showed up anywhere. I prayed to god he didn't fall asleep on his couch while watching TV again, he was very good at doing that. I needed him so much now and when the door to my room finally opened and he stepped in I started sobbing again. He crossed the room and I felt the left side of the bed dip down as he climbed onto the mattress next to me and took me in his strong warm arms.

"I want you to call me every single bad name there is, you can be mad at me, you can hate me, you don't even have to look at me, but please, please, don't leave me" I sobbed.

"I'm not mad at you Kat, I feel a little upset, betrayed and I have this urge to rip Gale's head off, but I'm not mad at you" He assured you.

"So you know what I did?"

"Yeah, I know you kissed him...A lot, I passed him on my way back here and he thought he would just let me know that your lips taste like my cheese buns. I'm really beginning not to like him" Peeta said and dropped one of his kisses at my cheek. My stomach filled with butterflies as Peeta dropped another one at the same spot. I turned around in his arms so my face was buried deep into his chest and all I did was sob. Peeta wiped the tears out of my eyes and placed a kiss on top of my forehead.

"I hate him Peeta, I do" I cried.

"No you don't, you got to fix things with him"

"It's broken beyond repair" I mumbled.

"I know you can fix it and I know you love him"

"I do love him, but I'm in love with you" I said with tears still running down my face.

"You need to fix it" He repeated.

We were silent for a moment, I laid there sobbing into Peetas white shirt while he held me and let me do so. My crying died down and he wiped the tears from my eyes. I tilted my head up from his chest and captured his lips in a kiss that I'd been dying to have since the argument with Gale. He didn't reject me just merely deepened it. He was so gentle with me, Unlike damn Gale who kissed roughly and had no compassion in him. Peeta took his time in kissing me, his left hand cupped my cheek and he deepened the kiss further. I couldn't believe he was kissing me after the fact that Gale just had gotten done kissing me and told him about it. I weaved my hands through his head and sighed as our lips moved together. Then, suddenly he broke the kiss and laid-back on the pillow he had abandon. I laid my head back on his chest and let out a soft sigh. I was really shocked that he wasn't mad at me for kissing Gale. He has gotten mad at me when he found out I was faking being in love with during the wars and kissing another man was far worse than faking affection.

"Are you sure your not mad at me?" I sniffled and wiped tears away

"Well I know I should be, I am hurt and it's not like you put on lives in danger this time, although this is the second time you kissed him.I dont really like the thought of another guys lips all over you. Any normal guy would up and leave if they were in my position...but "

"Oh god peeta, please don't..." Oh god he was going to leave me I just knew it, he was going to pack his thing and move to a different district,Start a new life with some stupid slutty bitch that didn't deserve him, I hated the thought of another women touching him, kissing him and making love to him. Oh no there was no way I was going to let some witch touch Peeta, no freaking way.

"But I Love you and the thought of my life without you in it is unbearable"

"I love you and I really thought he was you" I cried.

"Huh?"

"I kept seeing you" I repeated.

"Seeing things that aren't there"

"I'm a messed up person, my mind and sight are not normal, I really don't deserve you"

"Hah, I'm aware of your mind and sight being abnormal, but I'm not normal either so we make a good pair, now time for bed" peeta chuckled.

"I love you" I repeated for the thousandth time today.

"I know"

"No you don't you aren't aware of how much I love you" I gentle threaded my left hand through his hair and guided his head, his lips rested on mine and I sighed in relief at the familiar pressure of his lips pressed against mine. Peeta parted our lips and rested his head against the top of mine.

"Go to sleep Kat you need it" Peeta ordered me.

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Yes, I'm not going anywhere"

I sighed and relief and placed my head on his chest directing over his beating heart, I smiled at the thought of that heart beat being for me and only me. I knew for a fact that every beat of my heart was for him and only him. I fell asleep listening to the thumps of his heart and I was pretty sure he had fallen asleep moments after me. The night was peaceful no more tears, no more mixed feelings, no more nightmares and no more choices to be made my mind was made up and it was saying that Peeta was my soul mate. No more questioning my feelings, I loved them both I knew that much, I loved Gale more as a brother,he was my brother, he had always been my brother and best friend nothing more nothing less. I was going to tell him tomorrow, I was going to tell Gale he meant a lot to me, but I saw him as a brother and my best friend. I was going to have the two men that were so much in love with me stand side by side and I was going to tell them both of them what each of them meant to me and hopefully after tomorrow I would get my best friend back and things would be as they were before the wars.


	4. Failed To do The Deed

Thank you all so much for reading I'm surprised at how many people are actually reading it lol. I hope you all like the direction this is going,  
>if you don't then please say something and I might change things around. Again I really am sorry about the Grammar and spelling, I want to buy a good writting program, but can't find one and my computer is all messed up, so like I said I'm doing the best I can and trying to catch all my mistakes. OH yeah warning This chapter is a little on the M side but nothing too graphic and if you read the last chapter I apologize for the few curse words Gale and Katniss exchanged. There will be fewer words from now on. Okay sit back and enjoy this chapter.<p>

Chapter 4

Failed to do the Deed

The next morning I woke up shivering like crazy, I tightened my hold on the blankets and buried my head in Peeta's nice warm...No... he wasn't there, where could he have gone. My head hits nothing but the mattress instead of his chest. I lifted my head up and attempted to peer around the room, my vision was blurry at first ,but then became became focused after a little while and I became fully aware Peeta was not beside me. I pouted softly and then buried my head in the soft pillow, I flung the heavy comforter back over my body in hopes of stopping the cold air from reaching my body. Oh how I wanted to wake up in Peeta's warm arms, to feel his warm kisses pecking me on my lips. To feel his hands creasing my head, cheek and neck. I wanted that feeling so very badly, but he was nowhere in the room.

The door opened and I cracked one eye open and caught a glimpse of the back of Peeta's blond head. He had a large tray in his hands and it was covered in food. When he turned around I quickly shut my eyes and hid a small smile that was appearing on my lips. He was so sweet, breakfast in bed it didn't get any better than this. I heard Peeta set the tray on the top of our large dresser, he then crossed the room and I could feel the mattress dip on the left side when he crawled in bed with me. He placed his lips at my neck and started kissing me, I suddenly giggled as he hit the point on my neck where I was most ticklish. I rolled over and cracked open my eyes, a wide smile appeared on my face as I grabbed the back of his head gently and kissed him quickly on the lips.

"Breakfast in bed that is so sweet what's all this for?" I whispered to him.

"Well you had a pretty rough night last night" Peeta mumbled kissing me on the top of my head.

"Hmmm I guess" I moaned softly and turned my head into the pillow.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"A little" I replied.

He left the bed and I felt abandoned. I sat up in bed and watched him walk across the room and slide the tray of food off the dresser. He carried it over to me very carefully and set it onto my lap. There were pancakes, syrup, fresh bread, milk and some of his fresh delicious Cheese buns. Peeta kissed my forehead before returning to the left side of the bed. I grab hold of the Cheese Buns first and began devouring it. I loved his Cheese Buns, They were the most amazing thing I have ever tasted in my whole life. If there was one type of food I loved in the whole world it would be his cheese buns I would marry his cheese buns if I could. I moaned as the taste of cheese and bread made it to my stomach. Peeta chuckled at my facial expression and ripped a piece of Cheese Bun off, The one I was eating. I shot him a scolding look and held the Cheese bun away from him. He leaned over and picked another piece off.

"Excuse you" I lightly scolded.

"What I made them" Peeta said taking another huge chunk out of my bun.

"Well there on my breakfast plate"

"Fine I see how it is" Peeta waited for the perfect moment, the moment I had my guard down and had my focus on the bun did he decide to grab the rest of it out of my hands.

"Peeta, it's mine" I laughed, he knew not to mess with what was mine, before he could shove the whole thing in his mouth I leaned over and grabbed the piece out of his hand and shoved it into my mouth. I giggled at the look on Peeta's face before taking the last Cheese Bun in my hand and putting my lips and tongue all over it. That way I could gross him out and he would not want it anymore.

"I think I am used to your lips and spit" He said gently reaching over and snatching the Bun from my hands. I watched as he devour it , piece by piece. I groan and turned away unable to watch him devour the fresh and wonderful bread that was my Cheese bun. When he was done I watched him lick the remaining crumbs off his fingers and shoot me a shitty grin. I crossed my hands over my chest and pouted playfully.

"That lip's gonna get it" He placed his thumb and Index finger under my chin and guided my lips to his for a kiss. I sighed into his lips as the fresh taste of cheese buns lingered on them lips. He went to pull away but, I locked my hands behind his neck and prevented him from going anywhere he was on his side kissing me so deeply that I thought my insides were going to burst, then I did something he hadn't expected.

I pushed the tray that was sitting on my lap to the ground. It landed on the ground with a bang and the pancakes, Milk, bread and syrup all scattered the carpet. I didn't care though, I pulled Peeta down on top of me and for once he didn't reject. He straddled me and placed both hands on my face, I reached up and slid my hands under his shirt and that was when he stopped kissing me and looked down at me with nothing but passion in his eyes.

"Katniss you dropped your breakfast" He said breathless.

"So" I breathed out.

"I spent all morning on that" He commented.

I ignored his comment and slid my hands further into his shirt and lifted it up. He raised his arms over his head and allowed me to peel off his shirt. I let it fall to the ground right next to my spilled breakfast that I was not looking forward to cleaning it up, but at the moment, I could care less about it. I connected our lips again and my hands went to his waist. I fingered his Pajama pants around the waistline and gently began to pull it down until Peeta's hand were in mine and he pinned my hands against the mattress.

"Please behave yourself" Peeta scolded.

"No" I mumbled and kissed him again.

"Katniss I won't hurt you" He said.

"I know you won't" I said wiggling my hands out of his grip and heading to his waistline again. My mind was made up and I wasn't going to backdown from the passion this time, it was just me and Peeta in the morning light expressing our love for each other, I wasn't going to backdown not this time.

"I know you won't hurt me" I repeated.

"I won't do this until I know for sure you are more than comfortable"

"I'm fine" I assured him and pulled down his Pajama pants half way down his legs, Peeta kicked the pants all the way off and gently turned his attention to my shirt. He gently lifted my blue shirt above my head and took his time to graze my chest just above my heart. I lifted my body off the bed just enough so I could reach behind me and unclipped my bra, I tossed it aside and Peeta merely gazed at me with nothing but love in his eyes. He never once touched or grab hold of my breast. He just sat there running his fingers over my heart.

"Your so beautiful" He said sliding down my own Pajama pants. There was only two pieces of clothing that separated us now and that was his boxers and my underwear. he was so loving and caring, he was taking his sweet time with me and I greatly loved him for that. He wasn't at all being rough with me and when he slid the rest of my clothing down my legs I couldn't breathe. This was it he was going to take me, Peeta and not Gale, not the man I was with last night, the man I had mistaken for Peeta.

I really made no sense yesterday, my mind was all screwed up one minute I hated Gale and the next minute I wanted to kiss him. Nothing else mattered though, what mattered was Peeta was here with me and he was taking his sweet time in loving every inch of me. He never once touched me in a dirty or rough way, his hands merely went from my heart to my ribcage down my sides. I giggled as he ran his hands down my sides. He discarded the rest of his clothes and looked me in the eyes.

"Please be gently with me Peeta"

"I love you" Was his reply.

A couple minutes later I lie there with my head against his chest feeling upset and beyond embarrassed yet again. I really really tried my hardest, but still couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried. I felt weak and out of control, why couldn't I just let him take me? Why couldn't I let him violate me. I wanted him too more than anything else, but there was just no way I could go through with it. Maybe I backed off him because I knew If we made love what the consequences were going to be. I lifted my head and glance at the clock it was nearing noon and I had to get up and into the woods to find a certain individual that I was not looking forward to our meeting and talking to him. I knew he would be in the woods waiting for me to find him. I was frightened that If I did find Gale that he would he repeat those hurtful words. 'You single handily destroyed our friendship' those words kept replaying in my mind over and over I couldn't push them aside no matter how hard I tried.

I didn't want to face him I didn't want to look him in the eyes and tell him I loved him like a brother and If that wasn't good enough to him, then Yeah our friendship was truly destroyed. I didn't want that to happen, but something in the back of my mind told me it was going to happen. I lifted my head off of Peeta's clothed covered chest and placed a kiss at his cheek, he had to be up and at the bakery by one so it wasn't good for both of us to just linger in bed and not have a care in the world. Although I would like to do that very much instead of dealing with Gale. I crossed the room with the blanket at my chest, I was still naked, I was too upset to dress after we tried to make love and failed for the second time. Peeta, however was wearing his shirt and blue boxers. He rose from the bed as well and made his way across the room so he stood next to me.

"Are you okay?" He asked me placing his warm hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine Peeta" I assured him.

"I'm sorry Katniss. We shouldn't try to do that anymore" Peeta apologized and placed a kiss against my cheek.

"It's not your fault Peeta, it's me" Tears threatened to spill and I tried my best to hold them back, "If I wasn't so weak and..." Peeta silenced me by placing his lips on mine and driving me into a kiss.

"Your're not weak Kat, Okay. It's just not the right time" He said.

"I know" I kissed him again before letting the sheet fall to the ground. We dressed next to each other in silence, I slid on a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt and a sweatshirt. I reached towards the top of our dresser and brought a tiny small wooden box forward, I lifted the lid and smiled. I had Peeta help me put on my beautiful pearl necklace he had made for me. I had asked him a long time ago If it was possible for him to take my pearl he had given me awhile ago and turn it into either earrings or a necklace. He rejected the earrings idea said he couldn't make two earrings out of one pearl, so instead he turned it into a necklace for me. It was so sweet of him. My pearl was connected to a long silvery plated chain with a spring clasp. Peeta was so talented and crafty that it took him almost two days to finish the master piece in designing my pearl necklace. It was without a doubt my most prized possession ever and I would guard it with my life.

"I love my Pearl" I said quietly.

"I know you do" Peeta replied.

"No I mean I really love my pearl" I grinned and took the small delicate object in my hand.

"I'm glad I found it for you honey"

Peeta dressed in sweatpants and a white tank-top. I found it funny that he dressed in a tank-top during the winter since every inch of district 12 was covered in deep snow and every single resident of 12 wore heavy clothes, Peeta wore a tank-top because the oven was so hot and so uncomfortable to be around sometimes. We dressed, cleaned up the spilled breakfast and made our way down the steps.

"Are you going to be okay being around him?"

"Yes I'm going to set things straight, I'm going to tell him how I feel about him and you and I swear to you that you have nothing I repeat nothing to worry about"

"I'll take your word for it, but I will say this If Gale comes up to me and says your lips taste like my Cheese buns again I won't be so forgiving this time"

I nodded in understanding, the thought of Peeta up and leaving me because I had the nerve to kiss Gale was unbearable. I wasn't going to let that happen I was going in with a clear and normal state of mind and If I did manage to find him I was going to set things straight. Peeta slid on his heavy Jacket and so did I.

"Come by the bakery when your done" Peeta said.

"I will" I titled my head up and gave him a quick and loving peck and with that all said and done both of us walked into the cool chilly air. Peeta and I went in opposite directions. He went into town and I headed towards the nonactive fence, the fence hasn't been activated for years and I was completely thankful for that. I took a deep breath and began walking I was determined to find him and settle this issue he had once in for all. There was no way I was going to be stuck in a love triangle.

To Be continued...


	5. Demons and Real Reasons

Chapter 5

Demons and Real Reasons

I walked through the knee deep snow and slush; my pants were becoming so damp and so wet that I almost turned around and said screw Gale he can suffer the cold and my rejection from last night. I walked a couple more feet before coming up to a large mess of metal, I took my time to examine it closely: the fence was old as the hills, it was made of metal and had a metal bars that connected to the top and bottom and with a long bar that went across the top. I smiled as I saw the damaged part of the fence that allowed access to the forest. I had used that opening so many times to outwit the capitol. I easily slid under the fence and entered my other home. The forest. I loved it here it was the one place I could go to get away from things, this was the place that saved me and my family from starvation and death, the place I loved with all my heart. I wandered the snowy landscape for a couple minutes before coming across a snow covered hollow log where I kept my bow and arrows.

I reached into the log and placed my hand on the cool woods bottom, I withdrew my bow from its hiding place and smiled, I took a moment to study the thin piece of wood sitting in my hands. Once I had my bow in my hands I retrieve my arrows and studied the strait piece of wood that was tipped with metal and stone. I loved my arrows; they gave me power, and power was something I needed sometimes.

I wandered around the forest for what seemed like hours doing nothing but targeting my prey. I shot two rabbits and a bird and that was it. I loved forest food, if I had my way that would be all I eat. I stuffed the rabbits and bird I shot in my backpack that I had also retrieved from the wooden log. I continued wandering another couple of minutes before coming to a large ice covered lake. My heart dropped as I caught sight of the back of Gale's black colored hair out of the corner of my eye. My heart pounded in my chest as I approached Gale from behind. I knew he would be here crouching down, waiting for a nibble on his fish line. It seemed like he had been out here Ice fishing for a long while because both his cheeks were pink and he was shivering. I took a deep breath and crouched down beside him.

"Catching anything" I asked him calmly.

"Nope" He replied coldly.

"I caught a couple rabbits and a bird. Do you want them"?

"What are you doing here Miss. Everdeen"

I frowned as he used my last name instead of my full name. Was he really going to start playing that game again just because Gale did get his own way in getting into my pants. I have known Gale since he was in diapers and knew how he operated (A/N I know they meet when they were 12, but this is Fanfiction so We will say they have known one another since birth) and I knew what he was feeling and right now he was feeling everything from anger, hatred, Jealousy sorrow, denial and so much more. Gale's eyes never contacted mine; he just stayed in a crouching position watching for any signs that his rod was going to move. I started to get frustrated at his coldness and silence. He was treating me like an acquaintance on purpose, just to get under my skin. My legs grew tired and instead of crouching next to him I sat on the ground allowing my butt to become soak with snow.

"You still here miss" Gale mumbled.

"Gale Hawthorne stop being a jerk for one second and talk to me" I demanded.

"What's there to talk about? You said what you needed to say and as did I" The tip of his rod dipped showing that a fish was hooked. He returned to his full height and yanked the fish up through the small round circle in the lake, he pulled the fish out of the water and flung it onto the shoreline. I rose to my full height as well and studied Gale hoping to find any trace of emotion. He was ignoring me, pretending I was not standing there next to him, he pretended I was not trying to talk to him, trying to fix thing and trying to get my best friend back. That was all I wanted my best friend back and All I wanted to do was tell him what he meant to me and for him to forgive me for ripping his heart out and stomping it to the ground. It was a horrible thing to do, to share kisses with him that did not mean anything kisses; I made him believe that there was something there between us other than friendship and I prayed to god he could get over whatever pain it was he was feeling. I loved Gale yes, but I loved him as a brother and my best friend and by god I needed my friend.

"We cannot go on like this" I said.

"Like what"?

"Gale you are my best friend and I really need you. I miss hunting with you, I miss being around you. You're my friend Gale I need you" I needed to keep my voice from breaking I had to stay strong for my sake and Gales.

"You do not need me you got him" He spat.

"Let's not bring up Peeta, this has nothing to do with him its just you and I okay. You and me. Two best friends having a fight that is it" I watched him dip his rod back into the small hole and crouch back down waiting for another fish to bite. I placed my hand at my hips angry at his silence, my eyes scanned the large icy lake and I sighed heavily. I hated this hatred he had towards me, I hated everything.

"Gale"? I whispered his name hoping he would turn around and start talking to me and to my surprise he did.

"Fine Let's talk, What do you want to talk about"

"Where are you living these days?" I asked him.

" Went from district two Back at Seam and back to the coal mines, my family has moved back there and I am glad to have been reunited with them after five long years of being away" He replied.

"You really grown up good Gale" I complemented.

"You have too" He replied. He rose from his crouching position again and turned to face me. He stood a good distance apart from me and waited for me to begin a conversation. Why did I have to put all the effort in saving our friendship; He could at least attempt to try to save our friend. I knew Gale was jealous and beyond hurt, but one thing was for certain he did loved me in both a brotherly and romantic way and for that I was happy knowing that he did not hate me like he said he did.

"So...What have you been doing these passed five long years" I said.

Gale merely smiled, "Work, work, work those people in district two really love to put us to work to ensure their safety"

"Oh Gale you really should of stayed because of the money" It was working, he was talking to me and our conversation was beginning to go somewhere. One little baby step at a time was the thing I could do to get my friend back. It was going to take time, but in the end it will be worth it.

He sighed deeply and by the way his sigh escaped his lips I knew I had said something wrong, "Catnip there are several reasons why I came back and most of the reason I already told you were true. My family is here and is living in Seam, and my demons are here; I had to escape some of my demons and face some"

I could see his mood was getting lighter and his facial features softer. He was not calling me Miss Everdeen anymore and he was using my nickname again. I knew he could not stay mad at me for long, maybe I really was going to get my best friend back. I needed that greatly, I needed the laughter, the love, and the humor of my best friend that I have been isolated from for so many years.

"Tell me about your demons"

"Huh"? He raised a confused eyebrow.

"You said you wanted to escape some demons and face some, Tell me I am curious"

"Do you really want to know the other reason why I left Two"? He looked so serious and by the way his lips tightened, his brow sank and a small frown began to form could only mean one thing and that was He did something so serious he had to leave for it. What could he have done? Break district two law, steal money from someone, What, What did he do I was dying to know. He did not move back just because of me or just because of his family: Although those were two main reasons he was here, but what was the third? What was he running from?

"Yes, I want to know. Is it bad"?

"Yes It's very bad" Gale nodded.

"Like you're going to get arrested bad"

"No, No nothing like that" He assured me.

"Then what"?

Gale took a deep breath, ran a hand through his jet black hair and then said, "I got someone pregnant"

My mouth dropped in utter shock, "You What!"

"I got my friend and co-worker pregnant" He said.

He got someone pregnant really and here he was pining over me, trying to step in between me and Peeta's relationship. He should be at district two taking care of his child instead of abandoning them and chasing after me. I was so angry at him right now I could of pushed him in that freezing cold water and watch him drown. How could he leave some girl to raise a baby on her own.

"How could you Gale, Huh" I yelled at him, "How could you leave some poor women by herself in district two to raise your baby without your help. Why don't you man up and take control of your responsibilities. You should be ashamed of yourself" I spat at him.

Gale merely shot me a look of sorrow, "He died"

"Huh"? I felt like crap now.

"My son, he was a stillbirth, his mother was my friend and co-worker. She was kind to me and yes I had developed feelings for her which was good for me at the time, gave me a reason to set my feelings for you aside, and focus on her. Although please know my feelings for you never vanished. I have never stopped loving you" He rubbed a hand through his hair again, "It happened a year ago, she found out she was pregnant and said it was mine and of coarse her being the only women I slept with I accepted the fact I was going to be a father. To tell you the truth Catnip She helped me start to move on from you, and I was doing well too

"Did you love her"?

"For a while yes, but It was more like I fancied her, not really loved, loved her. I have always been in love with you. My feelings I had for her were complicated, I did love her, but didn't" He replied.

"She was the mother of your child Gale you should not have gotten her pregnant unless you were both deeply in love with one another and was completely ready for a baby"

"Well it doesn't matter now because Jace didn't make it"

"Still you should of stayed and comforted her, You two needed one another to get over your loss" I told him.

"That was just the problem I tried to continue to have a relationship with her, but she did not want me. She ignored my phone calls, pretended to be away when I would try to visit her and when I finally did manage to talk with her alone She..." Gale clutched his hands into a fist; it almost seemed like he was forcing the words to leave his mouth, "She said she could not stand the sight of me because I didn't give her a strong healthy baby, turns out she was not the person I thought she was and for the next two years we did not speak to one another, look at one another or anything. So yeah I really, really tried my best to move on and for a while I did, But seeing You last night for the first time in five years made all my demons, all my pain from everything disappear and when I kissed you and you kissed me back everything felt right and suddenly all this kisses I shared with Joyan didn't seem to matter, my small life with her didn't matter, the only good thing that came from her was Jace"

"I'm so sorry that had to happen to you" I mumbled trying to hold back tears.

"It's over now so it doesn't matter"

I had a huge urge to punch this Joyan right in her perky little face. What kind of women was she...an evil one that was for sure. How dare she hurt my best friend like that, How dare she blame Gale for losing their baby. If it was not for her he probably would not be here, he probably would have gotten over me by now. That dumb witch ruined his life in district 2, If I ever get a chance to meet her my fist was going into her face and I was going to rearrange it. Gale had made an effort in trying to get over me, He tried to give another women a chance and for her to tell him he was the reason their baby was dead made me sick to my stomach.

"Will you take me there?" I asked.

"Where?" He asked.

"Take me to meet your son"

Gale smiled, "Yeah, He is under a willow tree"

I couldn't believe that the death of his baby was a major reason he left two, The way he was talking last night I thought he was head over heels in love with me and that was the reason why he could not stay away. It wasn't like that at all he left to escape the painful memories that lingered inside his head. Why couldn't' t I see this before? Why couldn't I see he was coming to me for comfort I was the one person that he could tell anything to. When he kissed me that night he wanted comfort, he wanted to forget and only I could make him forget. I could not believe it, his family and I were the huge reason, what was I going to do now, how was I going to help him get over this, How could I convince him that I wasn't right for him either. I did not want to hurt him farther, but something way deep down inside me told me I didn't have a choice it was either him or Peeta.


	6. Thin Ice

It fills my heart with joy to have so many of you add this to your favorites, I am thankful you guys are looking past the mistakes and grammar errors and just focusing on the story. Thank you all for reading it and to those of you who left a few review I expect to be hearing from you, I really want to know what all of you think so if you could take two seconds out of your time and tell me I'd like that greatly. so please, please please review It'll only take two seconds, I wanna know your insults and Your likes lol, Again Thank you and enjoy. Ps. I know I am making Gale out to be a total jerk, but really he isn't all that bad I'd take him.

Chapter 6

Thin Ice.

Gale and I spend the afternoon shooting down birds, catching a couple more rabbits and we catch a couple more fish. It is still hard for me to believe Gale was about to be a father, that he had almost gotten over me, that his life in district two ended because of some witch (that if I ever got a chance to meet I will knock her out), that he gave up a good paying job to work in District 12's coal mines again. We have not gotten to the issue about last night and I was not looking foreword to it either. I did not want to talk about it because If he brings it up I am going to have to tell him the truth and it will only hurt him even more. I am not mad at him anymore about the words that were exchanged last night, the tears, the insults; none of that mattered right now, What mattered we were getting along, we were laughing, hunting, teasing and making fun of the defeated capitol and just being friends.

His anger towards me seemed to have vanished all I had to do was not mention Peeta and I was good. Although it was hard not to mention the man I was in love with. I did not want Gale to hate Peeta and I did not want Peeta to hate Gale which he did. not I wanted all of us to get along, I wanted Gale to fall out of love with me and just be my friend and I wanted his pain to go away. We wandered the woods for hours before making our way back to the frozen lake to check Gale's abandon rod. He said it was okay to leave it there on the shoreline and go hunt, He picked it up off the ground and tugged: There was no fish on it not one single fish. Gale shrugged to himself and allowed the rod to dip back into the circle he cut into the lake. I slung my backpack off my shoulders and placed it on the snowy ground. It was so full birds and rabbits that if anymore runs by us we would have to let it go because we were out of room. It was really beginning to get cold outside, My cheeks and Gale's cheeks were bright red and our noses were cold.

"Just like old times" I smiled at him.

"Yeah" He mumbled.

"I miss the old days" I tell him randomly.

"I do too" Gale replied.

"We can have it back you know...The old days; they aren't gone"

"The old days are gone Catnip and you know why" He said coldly.

"Gale" I frowned, and just when things were starting to look up. Who was I to think he could just forget the words we exchanged, to have his feelings for me completely vanish into thin air.

"The old days are dead, they have been dead since the moment you and Mellark were reaped. Let me ask you something" He stared me in the eyes and shot me a serious look; I knew what was coming and that was a fight. He had better watch his words and choose them carefully If he wanted to stay on my good side.

"What!" I hissed.

"If it would have been me that was reaped and not Mellark..."

"Peeta" I interrupted, "His name is Peeta!"

"If I was reaped and not him, would you still be with him?" He stared at me hard waiting for a reply. What was I supposed to say to him? How was I supposed to answer a question like that; a question that I did not have a correct answer for. If it weren't for the hunger games I would not of spoken to Peeta, would not have acknowledged his very presence. Would I probably be with someone other than Peeta: I really do not know.

"Well say something" Gale demanded.

"Gale you cannot expect me to answer something like that"

"It's easy yes or no"

"No, Probably not. If It was you that was reaped I think I would of died in that arena and allowed you to become victor" I replied.

Gale frowned a sorrowful frown, "So you would not of admit or show affection towards me like you did him"

"Not in a romantic way no"

He sighed in frustration, "What makes him so important to you!"

"Gale, drop it. This is not about Peeta or the hunger games or the capitol, it's about me and you trying to fix our friendship that is all"

He nodded, "fine"

We spent the time talking and waiting for a fish to bite, I really thought everything was going great, that he had accepted the fact that I was with Peeta and that the two of us were meant for one another. It was not until he brought up the kiss did everything go down hill, that all the progress just went splat. I guess we sort of needed to talk about it and get our feelings for one another out in the open, this was it the moment of truth was he going to push me out of his life forever or was he going to accept the fact that I loved Peeta more than anything else in the world and that I would die for him and Peeta would die for me.

"Catnip, you know we need to talk about what happened last night" He said.

"Do you really have too?" I frowned.

"Yes, I need to know why you kissed me back"

No he did not need to know that, I was not going to tell him I was thinking and seeing Peeta that would hurt him and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him like that. The worst thing you could tell someone was oh I thought of someone else while kissing you and I could not say that to him, would not say that to him.

"Please do not make me answer that" I begged.

"Please you have too" Gale ordered me.

"No, Because If I do it the answer will hurt you" I warned.

"I think I can handle it" Gale assured me with a smile.

I gulped and told him the truth, "I was thinking and seeing Peeta"

That shut him up, he turned his now icy expression towards the lake, I could tell by the way his shoulders slouched forwards and by the way his body became tense that I had hurt him by telling him the honest truth, He asked me for an answer and I gave him one. What more did he want from me?

"So, If It would of went farther you would of yelled his name huh" He growled.

My cheeks became covered in blush and my stomach dropped to the ground, "Gale I...am sorry"

"I really do not think you love him like you say you do" He said.

"Gale, I do I really, Really do"

He raised his voice a bit and caught me off guard, "There are no more cameras around, no more people watching your affection or every move, Your free Catnip,Your free from the capitol and from him. Stop trying so damn hard to be with him when it makes you unhappy"

"You are so thick headed, read my lips" I pointed a my thin pink lips and spoke slowly and carefully making sure he was drinking in every word I spat out, "I...Love...Peeta...Mellark"

"You know I blame myself for this" Gale hissed.

"What!" I raised a confused brow at him.

"I should of made an attempt years and years ago instead of wasting my time on worthless girlfriends. I did not know what I had right there in front of me"

"Stop it, I do not want to hear this again and again, I love Peeta and that is that"

"Keep telling yourself that" He grinned in disbelief.

"I know you were hurting that night and needed comfort and I will give you comfort just not in a romantic way...not again, not ever"

"I did not need comfort" Gale denied, "I merely got into town late and I could not wait to see you, to tell you I was moving back home for good"

"And I am glad your back I really am, but Gale you got to understand you cannot just walk back into my life after five years and think it is alright to kiss me."

"You kissed me back" Gale pointed out.

"I know and I am sorry"

"Why are you apologizing, I know those kisses had to of meant something"

Ugh He is getting on my nerves, its the same thing over and over. Why couldn't he just give up already and move on. Good leave me and Peeta alone. I was determine to get it through his thick skull that I Katniss Everdeen was deeply in love with Peeta Mellark and that Gale Hawthorne was my best friend and only my best friend. Oh how I wish the camera's were still around so I could announce it to all of Panem and most importantly Gale.

"I wish I could say they did" I said honestly, "But they did not mean anything. It was all a mistake"

Gale smiled and shook his head as if I was being unbelievable. The conversation was cut short as the tip of his rod started shaking. That god saved by the rod, It was jiggling and dipping like crazy, and I began to wonder what exactly it was Gale had hooked, He lifted it up into his hands and was in the process of pulling the fish out, but he could not the strength of the fish was so massive that it bent the tip of Gale's rod. Whatever the hell this fish was it was doing a damn good job in giving Gale a work-out. Gale was pulling and yanking with all his strength, but it was still no use.

"What the heck is it"? I asked in amazement.

"I do not know but the sucker is strong" Gale pulled with all his might. Whatever was on his line was huge and massive, Gale pulled and pulled it was still no use the rod went flying out of his hands, the line snapped and it skidded halfway across the lake. Gale cursed and kicked his boot into a huge pile of snow. He ran a hand through his jet black hair and continued cursing.

"Go get it" I said.

"I cannot He groaned.

"Why"?

"Because my boots weigh a ton and if I step foot out there I will go through" He frowned and stared off into the middle of the lake where his rod lays abandoned and alone. I sighed heavily and stepped foreword; the least I could do was go get his rod for him. I ignored his protest and tiptoed onto the icy lake, the ice must have been strong enough to hold up my small body because not once did it threatened to crack. I tiptoed farther and farther until finally I was hovering over his rod, I bent down and scooped the metal rod up into my arms. There was a small clicking sound, as If something had dropped against the icy surface, Although I was not sticking around to find out what it was, As carefully as I could I tiptoed back to safety and handed Gale his expensive rod.

"Thank you so very much, I do not think I can survive without this rod" Gale hugged me quickly and then set his rod next to our bags.

"Your welcome" I smiled.

"Well should we be heading into town it's getting very cold"

"Yes lets" I smiled and rubbed the back of my neck. My face became grim and full of despair as I felt the empty bare spot around my neck. Gale looked at me as if i was losing it, Oh god where was it? Where was my pearl. I got on my hands and knees and began pushing the snow and slush around hoping to catch a glimpse of my shiny small pearl necklace that Peeta had given me during the games.

"My God I lost my pear" I muttered in panic.

"What pearl"? Gale asked.

"The pearl necklace Peeta made for me"

I saw him roll his eyes and wrap his arms around his chest before joining me on the ground to help me look. I knew Gale did not care if I found it or not all he could do was grit his teeth and help me look. I rose and began retracing my steps; after a couple minutes of looking on the shoreline of the lake I gave up and sat down in the snow with my face buried into my hands.

"I lost my pearl" I pouted.

"It'll turn up" Gale said.

"No Gale I mean I dropped it in the snow, lost it, it will never turn up again" I said in a depressed tone of voice.

"Have Mellark get you a new one"

"Why can't you just call him by his name" I snapped at him; right now anger and sorrow were getting the best of me and the cold did not help my mood either. All I wanted to do was find my pearl necklace and put it back on my abandon neck. That pearl means everything to me and I was not going to leave until I had it settled on my neck where it belonged. I should of never wore it out here to begin with, but I never leave home without it attached to me.

"Because I cannot stand him" Gale said.

Here we go again, just when I thought things were starting to get better between the two of us. Gale knows it pisses me off when he insults Peeta so why in gods green earth does he do it. I stare at Gale in disbelief He was starting his crap and i did not like it. I sat up from my sitting position on the ground and wiped wet snow off my pant leg. My whole body was freezing and all I could think about was finding my pearl, going home and taking a nice scolding hot bath. I shot Gale a threatening look and was just about to scold him for saying he did not like Peeta when something caught my eyes. It was in the middle of the lake glistering in the sunlight. I squinted my eyes to get a better look and my heart filled with joy it was my necklace laying smack dab in the middle of the lake. The clasp must of came undone when I was out there getting Gale's rod back. That darn clasp was always coming undone, I really needed to have Peeta fix it. I took one step onto the lake before Gale grabbed my arm and yanked me back onto the shoreline.

"What are you doing"? He asked.

"Getting my pearl" I replied and shrugged him off me.

"Your not going back out there it's dangerous, It's bad enough you went out there once, you're not going again"

"Your not my boss, I want my pearl" As quickly and as carefully as I could I tiptoed back out onto the lake and followed the shiny sparkle of my pearl sitting in the center of the lake where Gale's rod had landed. It took me a couple of minutes to get there because of my caution, but when I did get there, I bent down and scooped the delicate necklace up into my hands. I was amazed I actually spotted it from my distance on the shoreline. I studied the necklace closely trying to figure out exactly why it fell off my neck and sure enough it was that stupid clasp.

"You got your necklace now come one" Gale shouted from the shore.

I took a step back and that was when I heard the ice below me crack, I looked at Gale with a fearful expression before the ice gave way. My feet fell into the ice cold water creating a large hole in the middle of the lake, whiles my head hit the hard surface and all I could remember before blacking out was the sound of Gale's voice, the cracking of more ice, and my precious pearl falling out of my hands and into the watery depths below.


	7. Close Call

This is the only chapter I will write in Gale's POV. Thank you so much for reviewing please continue I find your thoughts and feelings on this story very important.

Chapter seven

Close Call

(Gale's POV)

Katniss tiptoed across the thin icy lake, she stopped a couple of times to catch her breath and then continued walking towards the shiny pearl necklace that was glittering in the sunlight. Was she this stupid to risk her life over something so tiny and fragile. If I were her I would let the damn thing go, sink into the watery depths below that way nobody would have to look at it again. It probably was the ugliest little pearl out there. Everything Mellark made was ugly I think. What did she even see in that little prick, He was not at all important. He was a baker for Christ sake and bakers were hardly important, they weren't recognized by society. It was not like Mellark was attractive or anything, I did not see many women lining up to get a grab at him. Not that I was judging his appearance or anything I just did not see what made him so special to Katniss. He did not look like he had muscles and I would not be surprise if he was a little bit slower. His one leg was all wounded and beat down so that made him a sort of freak. What was it that she saw in him? What did he have that I didn't?

I watched Katniss bend down and pick the small ugly object of the ground. She studied it for a moment and I caught sight of just how much it meant to her. I still was not convinced that she was head over heels in love with bakery boy. She kissed me back that night and I was determined to prove that it meant something more. She had let me carry her up the stairs and into her bedroom for god sakes, she let me undress her and then she tells me it was Mellark she thought of. Yeah right I was not convinced. There had to be something between us, something she was denying. I was not going to let her deny her feelings for me.

Maybe it all was a mistake staying out of her life for five years, maybe if I would have came home after the wars instead of wasting my time and energy in two then maybe she would not of found it necessary to sleep in baker-boys arms, but mine. Ugh I could not stand the thought of them two together in each others arms every night and day. I would like to rip Mellarks perfect little head off that way there would be no more problems between me and Katniss.

I turned my attention back to Katniss and it all happened so suddenly one minute Katniss was standing there holding the pearl in her hand and the next her head hits the ice and her legs were in the water. I panicked and began stripping my boots off. There was no way I was going to let her drown, no way I was going to leave her in there long enough so she would catch Hypothermia. I tossed my large boots on the shore and was left in my socks, the snow beneath my feet soaked through my socks and cut deep into my flesh. I felt like I had just stuck my foot in the freezer, the snow below me was causing me great discomfort, but I pushed all that aside and focused on Katniss who was laying there on her stomach, feet in water and...Blood...Blood. No there was blood coming out of her head and soaking the ice in front of her. If I did not get to her fast enough she was surely going to die.

I stripped off my heavy winter coat and threw it on the shore next to my boots. She was going to need something warm when I pull her out and my coat and sweatpants would do just fine. I stripped my sweatpants off and turned my attention back to Katniss, her eyes were shut and I could see the small cracks of ice beginning to form under her stomach. I had to react fast, I did not waste time in placing both my feet on the cool ice. God did that burn like crazy, The ice felt like pin needles stabbing at my foot with every step I took. As carefully and as fast as I could I skidded across the lake just in enough time to see the ice beneath her give way and send her delicate body into the cold water. No dammit she was sinking and I was nowhere near her yet. I took a couple more steps before I too fell in, the icy water cut through my body like a thousand knives, my legs ached, my chest burned from the pressure of the cold water. My legs were the worse considering I was left in a pair of shorts after I stripped my sweatpants off. I was in complete and total pain because of the sharp aches going through my body.

Katniss disappeared out of my sight and panic began to spread through my body. I was not going to let her die if it was the last thing I do. She was under and I only hoped she did not intake any water, that she held her breath when going down. I prayed I got to her in time and that she was still breathing when I pulled her from the watery depths below. It has been three minutes since she fell, but it felt like it has been hours, that was how slowly I was moving towards her. She had to have had a small case of Hypothermia by now, A severe case would not set in for a while.

I pushed through the cold lake breaking chunks of ice in my way. I could not stop the movements of my lips or the shakes of my body. I have been in the water for only a minute or so and It was already taking its toll on me. Katniss however had to have been in here for at least three. I finally manage to push my way to the center of the lake. The water was deep in that part so my feet could not touch the ground. I took a huge breath of air and dived deep down into the watery depths below. I opened my eyes under the black water and searched, no sign of her. I resurfaced, took a huge gulp of air and dived again. This time I found her laying on the bottom of the lake. I grabbed her into my arms and resurfaced again. She was cold as death. I pumped my legs fast as I could, I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my body as I swam to the surface trying to balance her weight in the process. When I made it to the shore. I yanked her wet cloths off leaving only her bra and underwear on. I threw my heavy jacket around her body and slid my sweatpants on her. I rested my head against her chest in hopes of hearing some sort of heartbeat. I panicked when I found none and crushed my lips against hers to pass on as much oxygen I had to her. Nothing happened. The cut on her head was still bleeding, but it didn't look like a serious wound from where I was standing.

"Stay with me baby" I said aloud.

I pressed my hands against the center of her chest and began to pump hard and fast on her delicate chest. I pumped for about a minute before pinching her nose shut and placing my lips on hers again. I blew hard until I saw her chest rise and then did the process over and over again. After the second time in doing the process water escaped her mouth and she gaged up the icy liquid. Her lips were purple and her gray eyes opened slightly. She was alive but only barely. I hauled her up into my arms and began jogging through the forest, adrenaline once again rushing through my body as I ran. I started to feel sick and my shivering increased, but none of that mattered. What mattered was I had to get Katniss out of the cold and warm her up ASAP. I ran through the forest in nothing but a pair of soaked shorts that I had under my sweatpants and a white t-shirt and socks. I left my boots on the banks of the lake somewhere not caring to put them back on. Here I was running through the forest half-naked. I was surprised I did not drop dead right there from the cold because if I did we both were screwed. No I was strong enough to last a little longer than Katniss was. She was more delicate then I was and would sure go first. I didn't care if one of my fingers or toes had to be cut off due to frostbite, What mattered was Katniss's life.

"Come on baby you can last a little longer" I gazed down at her. Her lips were quivering like crazy and her body shook with mine. It was only a matter of time before the cold took her and then me. I could already feel my body start to shut down a bit, My vision was beginning to blur, I could not hardly feel my toes, My hands were numb and I could not feel Katniss's light weight in my hands. I was in deep trouble if I didn't make it to her house in like two minutes.

I finally made it back to her house and barged right in. Mellark was in the kitchen baking his nasty cheese buns that I had gotten sick off of one time. As soon as he saw us fear spread across his stupid little face, yes that was right, Mellark it was all his fault. If he would not have given her that stupid pearl necklace this would not be happening. If she dies because of this I was going to hold Mellark personally responsible. I was going to remind him everyday of his life that he killed the women he was in love with and the women I was in love with.

"What happened!" Mellark panicked.

"She fell through some ice" I replied setting her down on the couch.

I watched Baker-boy rush up the stairs to fetch her clean, warm clothes and as many blankets as he could fine. When he returned he had brought down two pairs of her sweatpants, and three sweatshirts. The phone was pressed against his ear and he was calling in a doctor. His voice was raised in panic and he was doing everything the doctor on the other end was telling him to do.

Mellark slightly pushed me to the side and began to undress her, He shredded my sweatpants and heavy jacket to replace it with her pants and sweatshirt. I watched her body shake like crazy, her lips quivered and she was clutching Mellark's hand hoping to rob him of his heat. I had not realized that I too was shaking just as bad as her, I felt like hell from being in that freezing cold water, but Katniss probably felt worse than I did. He pushed the couch towards the fireplace as close as it could go without catching fire. He examined Katniss's head and wiped the small drops of blood from it, I prayed to god she didn't have any brain damage. She did fall and hit her head pretty hard. I watched him kiss the top of Katniss's head, before mumbling a few more words to the doctor and turning his attention to me.

"She H-hit her head" I shivered.

"It's not bad, Doc's going to come over and take a look" He said as if it were no big deal. He was acting like it was no big deal that she had just slipped, fell and nearly got hypothermia. Stupid jerk doesn't care about the women he loves because his voice was suddenly so calm and collected.

"She could of died, don't you G-give a R-Rats a-ass"

"Gale, I promise you she is fine. I am going to take care of her after I help you out"

"S-screw you I-I d-don't need your help" I hissed.

"There is a shower up stairs and I could get you some extra pair of clothes. You're going to need checked out too" Mellark said.

"I'm n-not asking f-f-for your h-help, M-Mellark" Great I was beginning to stutter when I was talking and that never was a good sign. I glared daggers at Mellark and turned my back to him. I could take care of myself besides I was too good to receive help from him.

"If you really want to freeze to death be my guest" He said.

"T-that g-gets rid o-of the competition d-doesn't it?" I shivered.

"Would you shut up and follow me" He ordered.

I rolled my eyes and followed Mellark up the stairs, my eyes bored into the back of his blond head. I could not stand him I really couldn't. There was just something about him that made my temper start to flare. He did not deserve her He really didn't, He did not deserve to hold her at night, to kiss her whenever he wanted or to make love to her if they had done that already. I hope she didn't allow him to violate her the thought of that sickened me. Nah he probably did not even get pass first base. Mellark opened their hallways closet and pulled out a large pair of sweatpants and sweat shirt, He handed them to me and I snatched the glaring hard at him.

"T-this doesn't c-change anything" I whispered in a low growl.

"Didn't want it to change anything" He replied.

He rushed back down the stairs to be at Katniss's side while I shredded my wet clothes and pulled on the extra sweatpants and shirt he had given me. When I returned to the living room, The doctor was there leaning over Katniss and examining every part of her, that was fast of him to get here like that. The doc took his time in examining Katniss's body and as soon as he was done, he moved onto me.

"She is very lucky to be alive" He said.

"Did she catch hypothermia?" Mellark asked.

"Honestly, No she should have I mean really she should have, but she did not" He replied.

"Thank god" Mellark sighed in relief.

The doc turned to me, "How do you feel?"

"Freezing cold" I replied.

"You two are very lucky that is for sure" He approached me and began examining every inch of my body. When he was done he turned to Mellark and said, "They will be fine, best thing you could do is keep them warm, but keep a close eye on her and if something changes in her behavior call me right away." He turned to me, "You are one brave soul in jumping into the lake after Miss. Everdeen. I am sure you will be greatly rewarded" and with that said the doc left the house and stalked out into the chilly afternoon. I couldn't help but smirk at the look of Mellark's face at the doctors comment.

I turned to look at him and shot him a devious grin, "Oh yeah she will reward me greatly"

He ignored me, rolled his eyes and stalked into the living room to sit by Katniss's side and take care of her. I grinned pleased with myself for getting under his skin. I sat in front of the fireplace and tried to rob as much heat from it as possible. We were both very lucky, Katniss especially was lucky she had an angel watching over her and that angel could only be her sister. Prim. I sighed to myself as the thought crept into my mind, I wanted redemption for what I did to Prim and maybe by saving Katniss's life today I had gotten it. Now all I had to do was wait for her to wake up so I could scold her to no end. I leaned back against the couch and actually feel into a deep sleep.

To be continued...


	8. Overheard

Chapter 8

Overheard

I was not sure how long I had been out for, but when I finally did come to I was staring into the bright flames of the fireplace: chills ran down my spine and all over my entire body. There were so many layers of clothes on me and someone had wrapped me in a cocoon of blankets to keep me from freezing to death. What happened? One minute I was standing there holding my pearl in my hand and the next I feel the piercing icy liquid of water engulf my legs and then my entire body. I do not know how Gale managed to get to me when I was so far out onto the lake, but he did and I was alive because of him. I knew Gale would not have let me drown or freeze to death; He may have been mad at me because of my involvement with Peeta, But he would never let me die. I was his best friend and he was my best friend and I would have done the same thing for him if it was him that fell through some ice. I may have not been able to drag his large body to shore if he was in the cold water unconscious, but damn I would have tried with all my might to save his life.

I was still beyond cold, shivers still ran down my spine and I did everything I could to rob the blankets of their heat and to scoot close enough to the fire. Peeta must have wrapped me in every single blanket in the house because I tried to sit up and move closer to the fire, but the weight of the blankets and clothing prevented me from moving an inch. I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall and sighed, I have been out for at least 20 hours because it was 9:00 in the morning and last time I checked it was noon and I was out hunting with Gale. My mind wandered to Gale and thoughts of him freezing to death began to cloud my mind. Was he alright? He had to have been just as cold as I was; he had jumped into the icy water wearing god knows what. I buried my head into the pillow and closed my eyes, the pounding in my head would not subside no matter how much I wanted it to. I had a severe headache, my body was cold and my limbs were still kind of numb. I thought about catching a couple more hours of sleep, but as soon as I heard a pair of footsteps coming from the kitchen I decided against it.

"Good morning" Came Peeta's voice.

"What's so good about mornings with you" Gale replied.

I was not even aware that Gale had been sitting silently in the kitchen; he must have been reading a magazine of some sort because he was so still and so quiet. I frowned to myself as those words left Gale's mouth. I hated the fact that Gale felt the need to insult Peeta every chance he could get, But I love the fact that Peeta would just brush the comments off and pretend not to be effected by it. In reality I know Peeta wants to punch Gale in the face and so do I at times, but right now was not a good time to punch him. I should be praising him, rewarding him for saving my life. I was going to reward him, but not the reward he had in mind. I was going to reward him with a small dinner or free loaves of bread. I would think of something to give him, just not anything psychical and I knew that was what he probably wanted.

"Did you get a good night sleep?" Peeta asked.

"No, Your spare bedroom bed's is so very uncomfortable and plus I nearly froze to death up there. Why couldn't you let me stay down here next to the fireplace so that way I would be warm and I could of kept an eye on Katniss" Gale said.

"Because I do not trust you and because I was asleep on the extra couch beside her and because sleeping on the hard carpet is not good for you and you shouldn't have been freezing up there because I gave you at least six heavy blankets" Peeta spat back calmly.

"You know what Mellark don't start your shit with me. I am really not in the mood" I could tell by the way Gale spoke that he had caught a cold, his voice was raspy and he keep sniffling; it would not surprise me if we both ended up with the flu or some illness, going for a swim in the dead of winter did not go unpunished, it was only a matter of time before my body catches something that would make me feel like hell. There was a brief silence in the kitchen and I heard Peeta take a sip of coffee and set it down on the table.

"Are you feeling any numbness or any kind of dizziness?" Peeta asked him.

"What are you my doctor" Gale spat.

Ugh why did he have to be so cruel to Peeta, here Peeta was trying to help him, to make sure Gale was feeling alright and all Gale could do was insult him. I hated that these two people had to be so cruel towards one another; well only Gale was being cruel, but still. Peeta and Gale were the two most important people in my life and they could not even get along for two seconds. Haymitch also makes that list of important people, but I have not seen him in so long that I wondered if he had finally kicked it because of alcohol poisoning. Which I highly doubt it whatever he was doing it had to be important and secretive for him to cut himself off from society. I tuned back into Gale and Peeta's conversation hoping they would at least be civil to one another until I had the strength to lift my body from the comfort of the cushions. I was too comfortable to move right now, so for the time being I would just listen to their conversation.

"I was just trying to help you; she was not the only one in that water last night" Peeta said.

"Well I will say this again, I do not need your help or will ever accept your help. I cannot stand you and the only reason why I am here is because of her" Gale spat at him.

"You know you really are a piece of work" Peeta hissed.

It was the first time in a long time that I had ever heard him raise his voice like that. Oh well Gale deserved it; as long as the two men didn't get into a fist fight, their bickering was all right with me. If they got into a fist fight I would be too weak to break them up and they would probably end up killing each other. I am surprised that they had lasted this long without trying to take a swing at each other.

"No I'm not the piece of work here you are Peeta. I don't know what she see in you, but what I see is a broken young man trying to seek comfort from a women that is forcing herself to be love him because she can't get over the fact that she doesn't have to pretend anymore. Her guard is still up, she thinks the capitol is still watching her, waiting for her to give them a sign that your relationship is all just a cover-up and as soon as she realizes it, that its okay to lower her guard; thats when she'll leave you, thats when she'll realize that your nothing more than the last piece of the capitol she has to overcome"

This was not going to end well and how dare Gale accuse me of such things. I know the capitol is no longer watching me and I know what I feel for Peeta is real and no longer fake; if anything was fake it was my feeling towards Gale during the wars, the feelings I thought I had for him, but ended up being nothing but family feelings.

"You know I am so close in ripping your head off right now; if she wasn't in there laying on the couch I would have hopped over this table and strangle you to death, but luckily for you I am not that type of person and the statements you are making are far from the truth. You really are clueless aren't you. Katniss and I have been through more than you could ever know, I know my feelings for her and she knows her feelings for me"

"So you think, She did kiss me that night"

I groaned not wanting to hear anymore of the conversation, Gale just had to bring that up. That was Peeta's weak point; having the knowledge of another man's lips all over mine. It sickened him and greatly disturbed him, but he forgave me for it and that was all that mattered. I didn't want their conversation to go no further, so with all the strength I had left I let out a soft groan and called out Peeta's name. In a instant the chair was being pushed across the floor and Peeta was by my side, placing his hand on my forehead to check my temperature.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Like crap" I replied

Peeta simply smiled and grazed the side of my face with his hand, "I'll take care of you"

"Good, Can you help me get up" I groaned weakly.

Peeta tossed aside the blankets and grabbed my hand into his I was very weak, My head hurt and I was extremely hungry. I hadn't eaten anything, but those cheese buns that morning Peeta made me breakfast and it spilled to the ground. Peeta helped me up and at first I felt dizzy and my vision was blurry. I steadied myself by holding onto Peeta's hand and allowing him to lead me over to the kitchen table. He slid a chair out from under the table and helped me take a seat and then walked over to the oven to start cooking.

"Are you okay?" I asked looking over at Gale.

He nodded, "I'm fine, just a little sore. Are you alright?"

"Yes" I mumbled.

I didn't look Gale in the eyes as we spoke, I was a bit annoyed that he was treating Peeta like crap after everything Peeta was doing for him, after he gave him a place to stay; instead of throwing him out in the cold after he brought me home. Offering Gale one of our spare rooms and a pile of blankets and asking Gale if everything was okay. Peeta was such a kind person even to though he didn't like or want to be kind to Gale. In a way Peeta was more of a man than Gale would ever be.

"Gale you saved my life, thank you" I muttered.

"You don't have to thank me, I wasn't going to leave you out there. That remains me now that you are somewhat better I can finally scold you for your stupidity. Are you really that thick that you would risk your life over a stupid pearl, which by the way is probably resting peacefully at the bottom of the lake" Gale said with a slight grin on his face.

I know He saved my life and all, but didn't he have a home to go to? Wasn't his family expecting him? wasn't the mines expecting him? I wish he would just leave instead of sitting her insult me on my stupidity and insulting Peeta on his generosity. I don't know why but he has been being the biggest jerk since the moment he stepped back into District 12 and I wanted nothing more than to beat the attitude right out of him and get the old Gale back. The carefree, kind Gale, My hunting partner, my brother, my best friend, I miss him I miss my old Gale and I was determine to get him back no matter what.

"Will you not scold her at a time like this" Peeta calmly said from the frying pan. He was cooking me eggs, pancakes and just about everything and anything he could get his hands on. Anything that would give me strength and fill my hungry belly.

"I don't think I was talking to you Mellark" Gale spat and that was all that It took to set my anger off. I pounded my fists hard against the table with as much strength that I had left. The smacking sound of my fists and of the silverware lightly lifting off the table startled both Peeta and Gale.

"Gale I am sick and tired of you disrespecting him in my own house. I am tired of your nasty, know it all attitude and want nothing more than to wipe that shitty ass smile right off your face. I'm not in the mood to deal with your crap, I know you saved my life and all..." My voice trailed off as my head pounded in my skull, it felt like I was going to break a blood vessel, but I didn't care I started screaming at him now, "I want you to leave go home to your family until you can talk to Peeta like the kind-hearted, gentle human being he is"

I was surprised when he just up and left without another word to me or to Peeta. I was relieved though I finally had a moment to myself. A day away from Gale was just what I needed, A day to recover and relax, Now all I had to do was convince Peeta to close the bakery and stay home with me for the day, which he might do that if I asked him too. I leaned my head against the table and focused hard on my breathing, I Felt like I was going to puke all over the table and then black out. Peeta shut off the stove and set the plate of food in front of me.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"No I'm going to be sick" I said as I darted towards the sink and puke out my empty stomach. I knew for a fact that I wasn't pregnant so that was for sure wasn't causing my sickness. I had a headache and I had just vomited all over the sink. Peeta held my hair back and rubbed my back as I continued to throw up, my stomach was empty so there was nothing I could throw up.

"Want to lay down?" Peeta asked as I pulled my head out of the sink.

"No I wanna eat" I mumbled.

"Don't make yourself sick" Peeta warned me.

"I'm fine" I lied.

Truth was I was having a really hard time focusing on the plate of food in front of me, and I felt my stomach twist and turn. I hated throwing up and never wanted to do it again. It was the nastiest thing a human being was capable of doing and if I had my way I would never do it again.

"Tell me If you feel like throwing up again, so I can help you out" Peeta said.

"I'm fine, and Peeta. Would you stay with me today and not go to the bakery?" I asked him.

"Anything for you"

I knew he would say yes. I took a seat back at the table and began to eat slowly, Peeta sat by me sipping his coffee. I ate only the eggs before setting my head on the table. Peeta lifted my into his arms and carried me to our bedroom. He laid me down on the bed and covered me up with the large comforter. Not two seconds after he did so; I was clumsily running to the bathroom, My vision blurred, my head hurt, there was clear fluids draining from my nose, and mouth. I knew for a fact that I had to get checked out by district 12 doctor...I prayed to god I didn't have any head trauma.


	9. Discovery

Last chapter was completely horrible, feel free to skip it lol. I had such a hard time with it I was going to write her with having amnesia, but then decided against it, then I wanted her to have and then I didn't so yeah that chapter is kind of a mess. I really might rewrite the darn thing I hate it so much hah. This one you will finally find out why Haymitch has been locked up in his house for so long and Katniss seeks counseling from her old friend Haymitch. So please read and review.

Chapter nine

Discovery

I found out that I had a mild head injury and that I had to take it easy for the next couple of days, which I did not mind at all. Lazing about around the house was something I was very fond of doing, I spent the hours watching TV, listening to music and just wandering aimlessly around the house. I was lucky it was not a severe head injury, the doctor did say if I hit my head a little harder I would have a severe case of amnesia and that was the last thing I wanted to do was forget everyone and everything around me. Having amnesia would probably be the scariest thing to ever have to go through and I was lucky. I did not want to forget Peeta or Haymitch or even Gale (although I was pissed at him at the moment), I did not want to forget anyone. I would not mind though forgetting the past, that was one thing I would be willing to wipe from my memory, The hunger games, President Snow, Coin, Peeta's hand around my neck as he tries to squeeze the life out of me and the death of my sister. I did not want to forget Prim or the person she was I just wanted to forget the fact that she died in a very horrible way.

I was currently sitting on the couch staring into the flames as they once again burst with life. I have been doing that a lot lately, just staring off into space. It was relaxing and a good way I could get my mind off things. I really did have a hard couple of days, With Gale coming back into my life, the drama between him and Peeta, the tension between me and him and the falling through thin ice: It all seemed too much for me to handle. What I really needed was to get away from the drama for a day or two, No more drama would improve my mood greatly. Gale had not tried to come over since that morning I let him have it, he was probably mad at me for telling him the honest truth. And it was true I was sick and tired of him insulting Peeta, telling me I was wrong about my feelings, ugh It was all starting to annoy the hell out of me and I needed to get away from it, but where to go was the question. Where could I go to get away from it all. Peeta would kill me if I went hunting; he had specifically said no hunting and I had to obey him for my own sake. I loved the woods with all my heart, but I was not going to risk falling over again and losing my memory. I may have felt fine, but my head was still delicate and I had to take it easy.

It was a slow and boring day and all I wanted to do was speak to someone anyone about my problems with Gale. I could take a walk to his house and talk to his mother, but knowing my luck he would be there either waiting to go into the mines on the afternoon shift or just getting off the day shift. I wanted to avoid Gale as much as possible. I know I owed him for saving my life and all, but right now it was best he leave me alone until I sort through my thoughts. The idea of going to see Haymitch popped into my head. I needed to know if he was alright over there, it has been at least a week since I last seen him and I was starting to get a little worried. Peeta would not be mad at me for talking a walk next door, all I had to do was be careful of the slippery ice on the sidewalk. Before I knew it I was off the comfortable couch and slipping on my winter boots, heavy winter jacket and gloves on. I opened my door and was slapped in the face by a gust of cold wind. I was sick and tired of the winter season and wanted more than anything for spring to arrive and bless us with the rainy season. I much prefer rain over snow, but I loved the warm weather of summer more than anything else in the whole world. I loved the way my pores sucked up the suns rays making me feel relaxed and collected. The warmth the sun made my body feel every time I stepped out of my house to hunt. The prey was good in the summer time and it was the best and most comfortable time to hunt. I loved swimming in that lake that almost killed me a couple days ago, I loved picking flowers and planets and just being in the warm sun. Yup I could not wait for the time of warmth, but sadly warm weather was far beyond our reach it was only December 2nd and the winter season had just began.

The only thing good about the cold bare season of winter was the beautiful white snow. I loved looking out my window and seeing sheets on sheets covering the entire streets, backyards and rooftops. When it glitters in the sunlight its like a million diamonds are reflecting off it; it is all so beautiful and mysterious. Snow was beautiful to look at and admire, but I absolutely hated touching it and being near it; I just hated being so cold. I pounded on Haymitch's door a couple minutes later, I don't know what made me want to come over here, but I was not leaving until I got a glimpse of my old moron of a friend. Haymitch was getting up there in age and I would harass him to no end about it: it got under his skin when I pointed out the gray hairs or called him old man. I really missed him and believe it or not I was really worried about him being locked up in his house for so long. I hope he was trying to stop drinking, it really was not good for a man of his age to drink as much as he does, I was very concerned about his health. I continued to pound hard on his door and was relieved when the door flew opened and a clean cut shaved Haymitch appeared in the doorway wearing black pants and a fancy sweatshirt, his dirty blond hair was cut short and it looked like he ran some gel into his hair.

"What the hell are you doing Haymitch!" I demanded an answer.

"Nice to see you too, What are you doing here sweetheart?" He asked.

"I was worried about you. You have not came out of there in days"

"Well clearly I am fine, now run along"

"No Haymitch wait! I uh cannot go back home"

"Why not"

"I was bored in my living room and decided to come and see you. What have you been doing in there you old creep?"

"Nothing that concerns you" Haymitch said.

"Can I come in?" I placed a hand at my hip and cocked my head to the side studying every inch of him. His breath did not have the usual stench of alcohol and he shaved his mustache off and I swear it looked like he dropped a couple pounds. I could do nothing but stand there with my jaw hanging open and my eyes examining every inch of my friend, my father figure. Haymitch raised an eyebrow at me and stepped sideways to allow me in. I stepped into his house and out of the cold: I could not believe my eyes his house was completely spotless, it know longer smelled like beer, there was no cans of beer everywhere or dirty dishes. His clothes were all picked up off the ground; it actually looked livable.

"Want to explain" I took my heavy coat off and hanged it on his coat rack before stomping out my boots and allowing the snow to cover his welcome mat.

"Explain what?" Haymitch asked me. He folded his arms over his chest and I studied that fancy gray sweatshirt of his: it had the two long strings in the front and a hood in the back, it had to have cost him an arm and a leg. What purpose did Haymitch have in dressing fancy, stop drinking and taking better care of himself. That certainly was not the Haymitch I knew. The Haymitch I knew was stuffy, boring, dirty, grumpy and a pain in my ass.

"Explain to me why you look like a normal clean human being instead of a dirty alcoholic lush" I demanded.

"Well I do not think it is your business, sweetheart" Haymitch said and stalked off into his kitchen to get a cup of coffee, I quietly followed behind him with my head cocked slightly to the side. He offered me a chair at his wooden table and I slowly took it and sat down, he puts a coffee in my hand and took a seat across from me.

"Haymitch I have been really worried about you, You have been locked up in your house for at least a week. I thought you finally kicked it" I grasp the cup between my hand and hid my worried expression well from him. He had no idea how important he was to me and how worried I actually was. Believe it or not Haymitch was like my father, He was always there for me and it was because of him that I had the skills I needed to survive the hunger games, Quarter Quell and the war.

"Well I just have been busy thats all" Haymitch took a sip of coffee and I realized he was not making eye contact with me which was very unusual for him not to do. What was he hiding what was so important that he needed to lock himself up in his room in order to stop drinking, to stop smelling like garbage and sour alcohol and to more importantly clean his house up. Then my eyes widen so big that I thought they would of popped out of my sockets.

"Haymitch Abernathy, you got yourself a women don't you" I said in a teasing and shocked tone of voice.

Haymitch blushed a deep shade of pink, but nodded his head in agreement, "I don't think my personal life is your business, but yes she is a lovely young women, she's coming all the way from district 4 just to meet me"

"To meet you? You guys are dating and she has not even meet you"

"Well we been talking a lot online" Haymitch muttered.

I struggled hard to keep my laughter bottled up inside, I tried not to smirk or let my laughter run wild, but the thought of Haymitch who is 46 years old going on 47 kissing and cuddling was just too much for me to handle. I burst into laughter and ignored the glares coming from Haymitch across the table: tears formed in my eyes as I let my laughter run wild. It was good for him to have someone he could have a connection too. They haven't even meet yet. Haymitch said she was coming all the way from 4 just to meet him.

"Where did you meet her?" I wiped the tears from my eyes and struggled to keep the smile off my face. I knew I was kind of being mean to Haymitch and was hurting his feeling just by the expression on his face.

"Online" He replied.

"I'm sorry Haymitch its just so hard to picture you with a young hot district four women on your arm. Your just kind of old"

"Sweetheart I am only 46 that is far from old"

"Going on 47 soon" I reminded.

"That it not until January 12th"

"Well how old is she" I asked noisily.

"43"

"Just don't kiss in front of me, I don't want to have nightmares" I playfully teased.

"Why you and baker-boy do it all the time in front of me and all I want to do is push you guys into a room and out of my sight"

"Theres a difference between when two 22 year olds doing it and when two people with wrinkles do it" Oh he was getting mad at my teasing now.

"Watch it Sweetheart" Haymitch frowned. I loved making him blush and teasing him,

"I'm just teasing Haymitch, I am very happy for you"

"Thanks" He took a sip of coffee and then rose from his chair to poor himself another cup. I really didn't come over here to tease Haymitch about his love-life although it was a bit disturbing to imagine him suck facing with a women, but like he said it wasn't my business. I am just glad that he was okay and that he hadn't passed because of alcohol poisoning or of his old age. I really have missed Haymitch these past few days and I don't think he was aware that I had actually fell through some ice and smashed my head off the ground. I was here because Haymitch was the one person I could bring my problems to; he would actually sit down and help me through them. He never used to be like that before, he used to be so grouchy,mean, drunk all the time, but that was when the capitol was in power and making everybody's lives hell. Haymitch was really different now and whoever this girl was that he was going to meet would be really good for him, it was good he was going to find someone to be with. He didn't deserve to be alone any longer.

"I got major problems" I say to him and finally look up from my coffee cup to see him staring at me with that parental look that he would give me every once in awhile.

"Of course you do, sweetheart" Haymitch smiled.

"No I mean these last few days have been hell" I mumbled.

"Let me guess Baker-boy wants some, but your just not ready" Haymitch chuckled.

"Haymitch!" I blushed violently and glared daggers at him.

"What is it then? what's wrong?"

"No, this is serious" I scolded.

"Come speak to your therapist" He laughed and slid the chair out from under the table before raising to his feet and stalking off into his living room.

I took another gulp of coffee before following him into the living room, He slid a chair across the living room carpet and it came to a rest in front of the couch. This is what I really needed counseling because I really didn't know what to do about Gale and Peeta. I wanted them to get along so badly, but something told me that wasn't going to happen. Gale hated Peeta because Peeta had me and wasn't going to let go of me. He hated Peeta because we were in love and he was horrible to me because I loved Peeta back and he was convinced that I was forcing my affection. I lay down on Haymitch's couch and place my hands above my head, focusing on a small dot on the ceiling I waited for Haymitch to start questioning me. He thought it would be funny to grab a notebook and pen and start writing things down which really had me feeling like this was real counseling. Real counseling or not, He was willing to help me with my problems and I really needed help at the moment. If I didn't get help I really think I was going to go crazy and end up breaking someone's heart into two.

to be continued...


	10. Fun And Fights

I love you guys and your comments thanks so much for your support on this story and If any of you beta readers have any advice in improving my grammar pleas feel free to tell me, my mind is open and ready to hear your intelligent advice. I am going to try and continue but my computer is once again acting up and I have a feeling that I might have to buy a whole new one. I have no idea what this blue screen is or how to get rid of it, but none of that matters now. Please enjoy this chapter and review, tell me what you think.

Chapter 10

Fun and Fights

I told Haymitch everything that had happened to me in the past couple of weeks; all he had to do was listen to me with open ears thats all I wanted. I told him about Gale showing up at my door and how he confessed that he was still in love with me after five long years of being away from each other, I told him how I kissed Gale and how I fell through the ice trying to retrieve my lost pearl. Haymitch was indeed a very good listener and I praised him for that. As soon as I told him that I had fallen through ice Haymitch began the twenty questions. Are you alright? Did you seek help? What did the doctor say? I assured him everything was fine and that I had a mild head injury that would go away and that I had to take it easy. My father figure was in fact incredibly caring, we spent the next few minutes talking about my rough few weeks, talking about his meeting with the women named Avara. Haymitch showed me a picture of her and for a women of 43 she wasn't at all bad looking.

Flaming red hair; good color for an older women, she was skinny, shorter than Haymitch with green eyes and a few wrinkles here and there. Overall she was a pretty good, kind looking women and Haymitch deserved to be happy after everything the capitol has but him through. Haymitch has not dated since the capitol killed his mother, younger brother and girlfriend and damn near everyone he knew. All of our suffering was in the past; Haymitch had his demons to face and I had mine. Although it's been five long years since the capitols downfall I still had issues with this world, still had nightmares and visions of the horrors I went through. I can still see Rue laying on the ground covered in flowers, cloves had getting smashed in with a rock, Thresh's large enormous stature hovering over me and then sparing my life. Cato begging me to kill him, The mutts, President Snow, Peeta's hijacking, the bombing, my sister, everything. I was going crazy I wanted to shut it down once and for all, maybe if I had smacked my head a little harder off that ice then those memories would fade I would be free to live a normal life, but I was not willing to erase Peeta from my mind, I was not willing to forget the night he first kissed me in that cold damp cave, that day I found him emerged in mud and wounded from Cato's sword. I was seeking counsel not just because I was torn between two people that meant more to me that life itself, but because of my horror that still lingered in my mind. I was over here because I wanted these things, these memories and issues to go away. I needed a father to talk to and well Haymitch was the closest thing I had to a father.

"You alright sweetheart?" Haymitch was biting on the end of his pen, his head cocked sideways, hands cuffed neatly into his lap, Legs crossed and eyes glued on me.

"I really don't know" I replied.

"Have you tried telling Gale how you feel about him?"

"Yes, I tried everything. He won't believe me, he is convinced I'm in love with him"

"Are you?" Haymitch asked.

My eyes widened and I stared at Haymitch in shock. How could he even ask something like that of course I wasn't in love with Gale. Every beat of my heart belonged to Peeta and Peeta only. God I had serious problems my best friend and my boyfriend were fighting over me, well more fighting on Gale's end then Peetas. The memories of my past are starting to creep up on me again, I almost had brain damage, I lost my pearl and all I want to do is rip my hair out of my head. If I ripped my hair out of my head and became bald maybe Gale would not want me and move on. I knew for a fact Peeta would love me no matter what and I wasn't trying to make him stop I was trying to make Gale stop and dammit I wasn't going to give up.

"I'm not in love with Gale!"

"You sure?"

"Yes Haymitch!" I raised my voice, "I love Peeta, my heart is his"

"How does Peeta feel about all this"

"I think he is trying to do his best in not punching Gale's face in"

"Gale will take the hint give it time" Haymitch said.

"I don't think he will, he is hard headed, I've tried everything nothing works" I said.

A devious twisted grin spread across Haymitch's face. "There is one thing you could do to get him off your case"

"And that is?" I raised a brow in curiosity.

"Have sex with Peeta right in front of him, wait to Gale is in the bakery or over visiting you and just jump Peeta's bones" Haymitch laughed so hard at his own comment that tears started to form in his eyes and he slapped both his hands on the arms of the chairs while tapping his legs against the floor. I swear I saw spit fly out of his mouth as he laughed. I could not believe he just said that, my mouth was hanging open and I was speechless. My face was as red as a fire truck and my stomach filled with butterflies.

"Haymitch! that was inappropriate!" I scolded him.

Having sex with Peeta in front of Gale would only hurt Gale so much and that was the last thing I wanted to do to him. Haymitch continued to laugh it wasn't like his comment was that funny. I just laid back on the couch and stared at the small dot on his ceiling waiting for him to calm down so I could continue talking to him. When he finally did calm down; I was sitting up on the couch with my legs crossed, my arms folded and a deadly look on my face.

"That was a horrible thing to say" I frowned.

"Do you want Gale to back off?" Haymitch chuckled.

"Yes, but..."

"Then get hot and heavy on the bakery floor while he is in there buying breads"

"Okay, one thats disgusting to get down and dirty on the bakery floor, Two Gale doesn't buy bread from Peeta and three making love is something that should be personal and private. Doing it out in the open is not romantic and I want my First..." My voice trailed off and my face turned redder.

Haymitch's smile widen, "You haven't gave him the goods yet huh sweetheart"

"That is none of your business" I blushed.

"Well all I am going to say is nail him good and Gale will back off" Haymitch laughed.

"Your a freaking pig" I hissed.

"Geez I was just messing around sweetheart" Haymitch wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and tossed the pen and paper aside. He stood from his chair and I watched him walk across the room to switch on a small radio that was hanging from one of his walls. He turned the volume up as loud as it could go and music suddenly blasted into my ears. I stared at Haymitch as he stared swaying to the music that was blasting from the speakers.

"What are you doing?" I yelled as loud as I could so he could hear me over the music. Who was this guy and what had he done with my Haymitch. He was was now dancing and I mean really dancing to the music. He moved his arms and legs, swayed his hips and pretended there was a guitar in his hand. Was this what the clean sober non-alcoholic Haymitch was like before his games and before he became a lush. He danced his way over to me and held out his hand. I shook my head and crossed my arms, he was being completely out of character. What happened to the disgusting Hamyitch, the one that yelled at me and scolded me, the one that smelled like ass all the time, the one with the smart ass comments. That song ended and Haymitch turned the music down, not wanting to listen to the people talk.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked him again.

"Put your problems aside and be careless for just one day" He replied.

"Huh?" I was so confused, he was supposed to be helping me get over my problems with Gale not dancing around like an idiot and scaring the life out of me. All I wanted to do was forget about Gale's love for me. Haymitch grabbed me by the hands and pulled my up off the couch. I pulled out of his grip and sat back down.

"Forget everything sweetheart, forget about Gale, your problems, and what your going to do about them. Forget everything just for the day and just have a bit of fun"

"Okay what did this women do to you"

"I didn't do it for her, I did it for me. I'm tried of living my life as a man that drinks all the time just to keep the memories away. Life is too short and mine is almost over and instead of wasting the remaining years drinking and pouting over how much the capitol ruined my life. I'm going to rise up out of the shadows and embrace every second, every day, every years that I am alive. No more drinking away my problems, no more hiding. No more nothing" He turned up the radio again and this time started singing along.

"SLOW RIDE, TAKE IT EASY- SLOW RIDE, TAKE-IT EASY" He played and air guitar again and that was when I burst into laughter. Seeing a 46 year old act this way was a really funny thing to see and I couldn't help but smile. Haymitch approached me and offered me both his hands again, This time I took them and started dancing with him.

"I'M IN THE MOOD, THE RHYTHM IS RIGHT" He sang and I had to join in.

"MOVE TO THE MUSIC, WE CAN ROLL ALL NIGHT. Ooh, Ooh, SLOW RIDE- Ooh Ooh" I yelled loudly. The good music of the past had never vanished and for that I was happy.

"SLOW RIDE, TAKE IT EASY- SLOW RIDE, TAKE IT EASY" Haymitch sang loudly.

I couldn't believe we were doing this, he was acting like a child and I was right along with him. It felt good to let go of my problems and just let the music have me, engulf me with fun and joy. It had been a long time since I have had this much fun. I swayed my hips and dance liked I never danced before. I couldn't remember the last time I had danced like this or sang. I really needed this time and I was so thankful to have Haymitch he made this seem so much easier and I loved him for that. We continued to sing while dancing like a couple of lunatics.

"SLOW DOWN, GO DOWN, GOT TO GET YOU LOVIN' ONE MORE TIME"

"HOLD ME, ROLL ME, SLOW RIDIN WOMEN YOUR SO FINE"

We danced and danced and danced until finally we were both out of breath and Haymitch had to turn the music off and took a seat on his couch. obviously there was only so much his old broken down body could take, He wasn't a young spitfire that he used to be. I cringed at my thoughts...Spitfire...Yeah right, Why did I even think that.

"Are you alright there old man?" I asked him with a huge smile.

"Yeah, Yeah I'm fine, just not as young as I used to be" He replied.

"Obviously" I giggled.

"Hey watch it" He smirked, "Someday your going to be 46 and some little brat will be like Katniss, Katniss Why are you so old or Why do you have gray hair Katniss" He wiped the sweat that was forming from his brow and laughed.

"In the meantime I will offer to walk senior citizen Haymitch across the street while holding onto his delicate arm"

"Don't be a smart ass" Haymitch playfully scolded.

I was over there for a good half hour chatting, dancing and drinking orange juice with Haymitch. I finally looked at the clock and decided it was time for me to go into town and help Peeta at the Bakery. That would surprise him, He would be mad at first because I disobeyed him and did not stay in bed all day, but He'd get over it and allow me to help him stock the shelves like I normally do. I hung around Haymitch's house for another couple of minutes before saying goodbye to him and started to make my way down the icy sidewalk and towards town. It took me five minutes to get into town. I wandered around with my face buried into my jacket. I passed the new Hob that District 12 rebuilt and came face to face with the old women named Greasy Sae. She smiled at me and pushed her kettle through the front door of the new hob.

I was so glad she had survived the bombing; Greasy Sae was so good to me in my time of need that I had a debt to repay, but that could wait for another time. I was in a really good mood and all I wanted to do was march into that bakery and plant a huge kiss on Peeta's lips. Knowing Peeta's employers they would all probably hoot, holler and tease him to no end. I couldn't wait for that, I loved seeing him blush and get embarrassed. He was cute when his cheeks turned pink and his ears turned red. I was a couple feet away from the bakery ready to enter and see Peeta's gorgeous blond hair, his baby blue eyes, and his bright smile that could light up the darkest day.

I made my way up the stairs of the bakery, but before I pushed opened the large double doors; shouts from people brought my hand away from the knob and I started walking in the direction of the yelling and screaming. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me and stopped dead in my tracks, people formed a circle around the two fighting men or women. I pushed through the crowd and my temper immediately rose as I caught sight of the two people fighting. Guess who. I pushed a few more people aside and made my way to the center of the circle. Gale had Peeta in a headlock pounding the shit out of him, while Peeta gasped for breath and grabbed at Gale's large chest.

"Stop it now" I screamed and just like that my good mood was gone and anger filled my body as I wedged myself in between the two fighting me. Gale's headlock was too tight for me to break so I did the only thing I could and dug my nails into his arms and hopped that I had hurt him and He would let Peeta go. When Peeta did finally manage to break free of Gale's grip; he wiped the blood forming from his mouth and completely ignored me as I stood in his way. The look in his eyes was the look of a career and my body became frozen with fear. I had to do something before this fight got any worse. What were they even fighting about? Why would Gale go into Peeta's bakery? Peeta pushed me aside and as hard as he could he punched Gale in the face and a nasty cracking noise filed the air.

To be Continue...


	11. Fists and Episodes

Keep the reviews coming guys I love your comments and uh...Well Haven't gotten any insults yet hehe thats a good thing, We have about a good 6 chapters before I end it and I already have an idea for a second one haha. That is If you all will read and comment on it. Well let me now and for now sit back, enjoy this chapter and tell me whatcha think.

Chapter 11

Fists and Episodes.

Peeta broke his nose; blood was spilling and Gale held his nose between his hands. I pulled Peeta away from Gale an inch, but it was no use he was so much stronger than I was. He yanked his arm away from me and lunged forward. Neither one of them were backing down. The people that were surrounding us were some of Peeta's workers that helped in the bakery, coal miner workers and of course school students who just gotten out for the day. I was very angry that a huge man like a coal miner would not put an effort in stopping this fight; that they had to let a 111 pound girl try to stop two huge men. Gale pulled his fist back and clocked Peeta in the jaw, it was dangerous for me to get in between the two fighting men, either one of them could easy hit me or trample on me, but that didn't stop me I pulled on the back of Peeta's collar and yanked him as hard as I could. No use; Peeta lunged forward again and wailed Gale in the face again; Gale's lips cracked and blood began to flow from his lips. Gale pushed Peeta with all his strength and he lost his balance and went tumbling to the cold hard ground. Gale was hovering over top of him punching him like crazy. I watched helplessly as the two men rolled around on the dirty ground exchanging blows, drawling blood and leaving bruises on each other.

"Stop it now" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

But neither of them were listening to me, they just kept punching, kicking, rolling around on the ground until finally they rose to their feet and face each other. This was my chance, I darted forward and placed both my hands against Peeta's chest. He was so angry, I don't think I have ever seen him this angry before. It was worse than when that guy had grabbed my butt and chest. I made eye contact with Peeta for a split second and I could see the determination that lingered in his eyes. He wasn't going to quit until Gale pay for whatever it was he did. I didn't even have to ask who started it, My instincts told me that it was all Gale's doing. I just didn't know how the two managed to cross paths.

"This ain't over Mellark" Gale pointed a threatening finger at him. "You hear me!"

"Just shut up Hawthorne you don't have the damn nerve to take me down" Peeta spat.

"No your lucky she is here or I'll beat you to a bloody pulp" Gale threatened.

"Try it" Peeta challenged.

"Don't tempt me piece of crap"

"I'm the piece of crap!" Peeta laughed, "Your the trash that is always out for trouble, Your the piece of trash"

I could feel Peeta take a step forward and I pressed my hands against his chest harder this time hoping to keep Peeta back just long enough until Gale vanished from our sight. I took a moment to examine Peeta and shook my head disgusted. His hair was ruffled and sticking in every direction,his left hand and knuckles were red and bruised from all the punching he had done. There was a cut above his eyebrow and all over his lips, his clothes were covered in slush and snow. I took hold of Peeta's wounded hand and began leading him to the bakery, Peeta glanced over his shoulder and smirked at Gale which only made things worse.

"Guess the better man won" Peeta said.

"Peeta!" I yelled.

I could not believe he just said that. But before I had time to scold him, Gale was already lunging himself towards Peeta, fists flying, rage and jealous in his eyes. I stepped in between them again at the last second, which was a really stupid thing to do because Gale's large huge fist came crashing down and instead of connecting with Peeta's Jaw: It connected with mine. My head flew to the left side and my hair fell in my face, I pressed a hand against my face as the stinging sensation grew.

"You son of a bitch can't you see" Peeta snapped, but instead of making an attempt to pound Gale again; He placed a hand on my burning cheek and examined the red mark that was becoming visible. My gaze met Gales and all he did was stand there with a guilty expression on his face. He had never hit a women before; Gale just was not that type of guy and I knew he was never going to forgive himself for it. He took a step towards me having every intention in seeing if I was alright. Peeta pushed me behind him as Gale approached us. He roughly placed a hand against Gale's chest and pushed him back an inch.

"Don't go near her!" Peeta snapped.

"Shut up Mellark...I didn't mean to...I'm so...Catnip I didn't..."

"Save it" Peeta yelled.

"Stop it both of you, Why the hell are you fighting!" I screamed .

"He pushed me" Gale said.

"No I didn't" Peeta turned to me, "I closed the bakery up early today so I could come home early and spend time with you. I was on my way home when I bumped into your buddy's arm, he was just coming out of the mines. He turned around, yelled at me, flipped the cheese buns I was carrying out of my hands and said if I ever had the nerve to touch him again that he was going to throw me down a mine shaft, then after that he pushed me again and I fell to the ground" Peeta got done explaining and all I could do was shot Gale dangerous looks.

"Catnip obviously he is lying" Gale took another step forward, but Peeta pushed him back again.

"Don't come near her!" He hissed again.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to hit you I..." I cut him off.

"Just shut up Gale this has nothing to do about your fist flying into my face. Did you really push him?" I wanted a descent, honest answer from him and dammit he was going to give me an honest answer.

"Yes, but I..."

"No buts, Why do you always got to fight HUH!" I raised me voice.

I've had just about enough of their fighting, as much as it pained me to do so I backed away from the two men and shot them a dangerous glare. Peeta looked hurt at my sudden distance of space and approached me, but I backed away again. I was sick and tired of these two fighting, cracking comments towards each other. It was more Gale than anything making comments every chance he got, but Peeta could at least of tried to prevent this fight. It hurt me when they fought each other.

"I am sick and tired of being torn between the two of you" I turned to Gale and as soon as he caught sight of the deep red mark on my cheek he lowered his head in shame, "You are forcing me to choose between the two of you when there really is no choice to be made. I know your in love with me I know, I just can't bring myself to love you more than anything than a friend, you got to get that through your thick head. And if I did have to choose between my best friend and the man I am in love with guess which one I am going to choose"

"I know dammit alright I know your in love with him. It pains me so much to see him with you, to see they way you look at him with such passion in your eyes. It kills me Katniss to know I screwed up royally and I'm sorry for everything. I screwed up I could of had you a long time ago, but I screwed it all up. I can't...I can't do this I can't except the fact that you will never be mine" I could of sworn I saw a couple tears leave Gale's eyes; I have known him my whole life and not once have I ever seen him cry not even when his father died. Of course he cried about his fathers death, but he did it in private. Gale Hawthorne was a strong individual and right now, I and so many others in the district was seeing his weak side.

"I need you Gale I do, But I need you as my friend." How many damn times do I have to tell him this. This was getting so old.

"I-I should...of never came back" and with that said he disappeared into the crowd that was withering down and getting back to their normal lives. I watched Gale disappear through the crowds, it almost felt like a hole has been torn into my heart. There was this big empty space in there now the second Gale turned and walked away. I turned to Peeta who just stood there with a blank expression on his face.

"I'm sorry" He apologized.

"Just please keep quiet for a little while" I pleaded.

We walked a good distance from each other all the way home, Peeta could tell I was upset at him and needed my space. The stinging in my cheek continued to burn. So I silently grabbed a handful of the white cold snow, rolled it into a ball and placed it against my cheek. We entered my house a couple minutes later. I walked into the kitchen , grabbed a handful of ice and wrapped it in a cloth. Peeta was right behind me and when I turned around to place the ice on his knuckles; He clasp his hand over my mouth and placed his lips at my ears.

"Katniss Everdeen I finally found you" His voice was low and deadly and I immediately knew that the fight with Gale had triggered an episode. Damn Gale. Peeta's episodes were triggered by his emotions and memories; and since Gale had to make him so angry and so willingly to fight like a career that alone was enough for him to fall into one of his episodes.

"Peeta don't" I begged.

"Shh, Don't make this harder than it has to be" Peeta whispered a deadly tone of voice in my ear.

"I love you" I said hoping my words would bring him back. I was going to kill Gale for sending Peeta into an episode like this. It was all his fault for sending Peeta into a enraged state. The feeling of his hand planted against my mouth and his other creeping up to settle around my throat scared me so much, I didn't want to do this again I really didn't; it wasn't time for another episode yet. He had his one for December; another one should not have become active until January.

"Your a murder" He growled. He grabbed a kitchen knife from the sink and planted it against the delicate skin of my neck. I couldn't breath. He was going to kill me this time; at least last time Haymitch was with us and was able to tie him to a chair and prevent him from doing any harm to me. I had to remain calm, I could not panic, panicking was the worse thing I could do at a time like this. I took a deep breath, reached up and placed both my hands against both his raised elbows.

"Come back to your senses Peeta. I'm not your enemy" I said calmly.

"Oh but you are you killed everyone that I ever loved. I many have failed to kill you before, but I won't fail now. You will die Katniss Everdeen and I will take pleasure in dancing on your grave" Peeta spat.

"Look at me; you love me and I love you so much. We live together kind of. You hold me every night and keep the nightmares away. You kiss me so passionately that every time you do I want to melt" I was trying my best to bring him back to me, back into reality, I hated him like this I really did.

"Stop speaking to me like we are lovers" He hissed and tightened the knife.

"We are lovers! Peeta!" My heart pounded into my chest and I could feel the tears begin to rise.

"Shut up now!" he yelled.

"Peeta please come back to me. I love you" I whimpered. I was trying so hard not to cry and let him see the fear that was spreading through my entire body.

"Katniss, Katniss, Katniss, I'm going to kill you for everything you put me through, for killing my family, for torturing me, for almost killing me. I'm going to slit your throat and watch as the life leaves your eye. I love the thought of this world where your not in it killing people and making my life miserable"

"I love you" I repeated.

"Dammit stop saying that. It disgusts me when you do" He shouted and the knife tightened around my throat. I couldn't help it no more, tears streamed out of my eyes and as hard as I could I took the heel of my foot and stomped down on his foot, the back of my head connected with his face, his tight hold loosen and I batted the knife away from my neck and slid out of his grip. Tears were flying from my eyes.

"Bitch" He shouted as I bolted up the stairs. He was hot on my heels cursing and swinging the knife through the air. This was not my Peeta it was the capitol's Peeta and if it came down to it I would have no choice but to kill him in order to secure my life, but was I willing to do that. No. I would let him kill me. All this was Gale's fault I blame him, he did it he triggered the episode with his fists pounding into Peeta's flesh and his curse words.

I flew up the stairs searching for anywhere I could go to hide; my target was the bathroom: it was the only room in the house that locked from the inside. I usually went there when Peeta had his episodes and I was all alone with him at the time. Being alone with him when he was having his episode was a really rare occasion. Haymitch was almost always with me and things usually went smoothly: A couple curse words here and there nothing too bad.

I made it to the top of the stairs and just as I thought I was safe: I tripped, lost my balance and toppled to the floor. Peeta was right there hovering over me, with the knife at the ready, and an evil grin spread across his face. He must have only been a couple feet behind me because he was on me in almost in instant. I cried aloud and reached up to brush the blond hair from his eyes. He jerked away from my touch and pinned my hand against the ground. He raised the knife and I cried louder. My life was going to end at the hands of the man I was in love with.

"Peeta please, I love you" I cried, closed my eyes and waited for the kitchen knife to slit the life out of me.

To be continued...


	12. Healing Needed

Chapters might be a little later from now on I am having serious issues with my computer and I got a feeling it is going to crash. Oh well need a new one anyway. I am so happy that there are so many of you adding this to your favorites, alerts and I love all review keep them all coming.

Chapter 12

Healing Needed.

I closed my eyes waiting for the knife to come clean across my throat. I should not have been lying down like this. I should be fighting for my life,even if it meant threatening his or worse taking his. I would take my own life before I would take Peetas. I would never kill the man I love. Neither of us were going to die I was going to make sure of that. Peeta had to be fighting it because the look on his face when he placed the knife on my neck indicated he was having a mental battle with himself. All I had to do was continue to tell him I loved him and hopefully he would be able to come back to me; come back to where he belonged. I couldn't believe this was happening to us. I really didn't know by fighting with someone an episode would be triggered. I looked up into Peetas eyes and did nothing but cry, he had a look of such hatred and rage towards me; I didn't know he had this much anger towards me, but then again I kept telling myself this was not my Peeta, this was the horrible twisted side of Peeta that was designed by the capitol. The capitol did this to get to me; it was my fault Peeta was like this; It was my fault he was hurt, wounded and would have to suffer episodes for the rest of his life, Yup it was all my doing. They tortured him, beat him, poisoned his mind and turned part of him against me and I will never ever forgive myself.

Peeta grinned as he gripped the kitchen knife with both hands and just as he was about to plunge the knife into my chest I decided to lift my knee up and kick him in between the legs. He groaned, dropped the kitchen knife and grabbed hold of himself in pain. He rolled off of me taking deep breaths. I didn't waste any time in getting to my feet and bolting down the hallway towards the bathroom again. Peeta scooped the knife from the ground once the pain between his legs subsided. He flew down the hallway after me, I was nearly there at the bathroom door when I felt the thin piece of metal graze the back of my arm. I yelled as the metal blade made a almost deep cut all across the back of my right arm. Peeta's next swing of the knife just barely missed the back of my neck. I finally made it to the bathroom door and flung it open, Peeta was still hot on my heels. I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut before he could come in with me. Once the door was locked I crouched down into a fetal position and cried my eyes out.

Peeta pounded on the bathroom door for a good hour; all I could do was listen to his curse words. The bleeding in my arm wouldn't stop and that was when I realized he had actually cut me pretty deep that I might have to have stitches. I crawled across the bathroom floor and scooped one of the white towels hanging from our towel rack that sat on the titles in the corner of the room. I wrapped the pearly white towel around my arm and watched it turn a deep red color; God it was worse than I thought. I had to stop the bleeding; he was never going to forgive himself if he caught sight of what he had done to me. I had to hide it from him somehow, this had to be the very worst thing he had ever done to be during an episode.

A small knock on the door caused me to jump and back myself up into the corner further. It could have been anyone on the other side of the door. Haymitch could of heard the screams and cries and hurried over here to stop Peeta or it could still be Peeta on the other side waiting for me to answer. He could be tricking me into believing he was back to normal and the second I open that door he would slice me up like a fish. The knocks were soft knocks instead of pounds and I decided to brave it and cautiously stumble across the titles. I carefully opened the door and peered out into the hallway. Peeta was standing on the other side of the door with his head down and tears streaming down his face. As soon as I saw he was normal I bolted from the bathroom and flung my arms around him, but he would not hold me back. He wiggled from my grip and distance himself from me. I was hurt, upset and all of the above that he would not come anywhere near me.

"Peeta" I whispered taking a step towards him.

"I'm sorry" He whimpered.

"I'm not hurt Peeta" I lied.

Truth was my arm stung like crazy and I knew it was bleeding onto the towel that I had wrapped around my arm. Peeta was no moron; He approached me just enough to quickly yank the towel away and gaze down at my flaming red arm. I didn't have time to move away from him because he pulled it away so quickly. He let the towel fall to the ground and placed his hands over his eyes and sighed.

"I hurt you" He said with guilt.

"It's not your fault"

Peeta actually snapped at me, "Yes it is my fault! Stop standing up for me!"

"Peeta I..." He cut me off.

"No, whatever it is your going to say don't say it. There coming back Katniss, The episodes are coming back and there getting worse. I stabbed you Kat I freaking STABBED YOU" Peeta fought to keep his voice under control and the tears out of his perfect blue eyes. I knew he was going to be upset with himself for cutting the back of my arm. But that was what it was a cut not a stab. He didn't stab me and I don't think he was going to if I hadn't gotten away from him. I really don't think he could go through with killing me.

"You wouldn't of killed me!" I shouted at him.

"Yes I would have!"

"Peeta it was just an..."

"Stop acting like this is not a big deal. I stabbed you Katniss with a freaking kitchen knife. I'm an abusive man, I don't want to be around you knowing I could kill you any second"

"Please stop acting like this Peeta" I whimpered.

"Acting like what" He hissed.

I could feel tears start to bottle up inside me but I did everything in my power not to burst into tears. I have been doing that alot lately. Becoming to overemotional, anyone in my shoes would be: I had two guys fighting over me, My boyfriend just tried to kill me, my best friend is in love with me and being a jerk about it, I hit my head, slipped through ice, got punched in the face by my best friend and now I think my boyfriend was having a nervous breakdown. I really did think something inside him was breaking, he had never done anything like this to me before and I could tell it was going to take alot to convince him that I was okay, that it was just a cut nothing major.

"Stop acting like a jerk"

"A jerk" His brows furrowed and he stared at me as if I just slapped him in the face, "Kat, I'm trying to protect you"

"I don't need protected from you" I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. Were we actually getting into a fight over this. I didn't care about anything that had just happened between the two of us a couple of minutes ago. All I cared about was him and he was here and he came back to me.

"Let me see your arm" He approached me and my entire stomach filled with butterflies as he brushed his fingers across the enraged skin that was torn. The blood was slowly stopping, but it still continued to run down my arm. He picked the towel up from the ground and wiped the newly flowing blood from my arm.

"I can't hurt you like this anymore" Peeta said as he wiped my arm clean of the blood.

"It don't happen often" I pointed out, "Once a month"

"Four times this month" He corrected me.

"What! What the hell! Why didn't you tell me" My mouth hung open in complete shocked.

"I didn't want to alert you. I could of killed you while you were in my arms. I...God...I'm a monster.I've been having urges for some time now I just haven't told you. That night when you kissed Gale and I held you. I...I never went to sleep. I left for awhile once I was sure you stopped crying and were asleep. Katniss I wanted to kill you that night. I locked myself in the bathroom until the urges past"

"Peeta, Gale provoked you into having an episode" I said.

"No it was all me" He challenged, "And I have to do something about it...maybe if I let Gale have you then maybe you will be safe"

"I don't want Gale... I want you" I frowned.

"Gale wouldn't hurt you" Peeta said.

I chuckled and pointed to the small little bruise that was beginning to form on my cheek, "He sure knows how to punch"

"Well the point is you would be safe"

"Do you love me at all" I hissed.

"Yes"

"How much do you love me?"

"Too much" He replied.

"Then why would you be willing to give me to Gale. I would not be happy with him, I would rather die then live my life without you"

"I...I just...I'm sorry...I do love you more than you will ever know" He said.

Before I could answer he led me into the bathroom and turned on the sink, He dipped a clean rag into the cold water and wiped my arm completely clean. He then rummaged through our bathroom cubber and took out peroxide and bandages. After he wrapped my arm and made sure it stopped bleeding; he distances himself from me for the thousandths time today and calmly walked down the stairs not saying another word to me. I bolted after him.

"Peeta please talk to me about this" I begged.

"I got to do something. I almost killed you; it wasn't like that last time Katniss."

"Were fine we'll work through it together" I told him.

"No I want to get rid of it myself; I will not put you in harms way"

Tears were coming out of my eyes now, we were in the living room facing each other. The lights were all on and I could see every inch of his troubled face. I didn't know what was going through his head, what he was thinking or what he had plan but something told me that it wasn't going to be good for me.

" I need to get rid of it" Peeta said.

"I'm going with you" I said.

"No! I want you to stay here in 12 be happy and try to forget about..." I cut him off.

"Don't even finish that sentence. Why the hell would you want me to forget about you" I hissed.

"Just for awhile. I want you to forget my violent, abusive side okay."

I relaxed and took a step forwards, ignoring Peeta's rejections I placed my hands around his neck and snuggled deep into his chest. When his warm arms engulfed me I sighed and leaned up to kiss him on the lips. He took a moment and deepened the kiss, when he went to pull away I grabbed his head and held it in place, kissing him even deeper. I broke the kiss for air and Peeta's lips went to my neck, I weaved my fingers through his golden locks and let out a large deep moan.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

"You understand why I got to find someone to help me get rid of these episodes right" He mumbled into my neck

I nodded, "Yes, but I wish I could come with you" My breath was deep and heavy. My fingers were still weaving through his hair and I was placing light kisses against his neck while he ran his hands through my wavy black hair. I leaned up to kiss him again but he moved around my lips causing me to pout and lay my head against his chest instead.

"Where will you go?" I asked.

Peeta was silent for a moment; all he did was run his hands through my hair and then he spoke very clearly and deeply, "To where it all began ...The capitol"

I kind of knew that was what he was going to say, but I pushed the fear that was forming through my body and just focused on him and my love for him. I grabbed the back of his head again and forced him to kiss me as passionately as he could. I grabbed the front of his shirt collar and pulled his body against mine. We broke the kiss and gasp for air. I placed kisses along Peeta's neck and jaw while I waited for him to catch his breath.

"Katniss I don't think you should be kissing me like..."

"Shut up and kiss me" I demanded.

"Yes ma'am" He chuckled.

"Kiss me until you can't breath"

"Geez Kat" Peeta laughed.

He didn't disobey me either, he connected his lips and drove us into a long deep kiss and then before I knew it my legs were around his waist and he was carrying my up the steps while my fingers fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. I was skating on thin ice by touching him like this, what if he relapsed and had another one while we were in the process of making...

My thoughts trailed off as I become aware of our current position. He had carried me to my room and was laying on top of me kissing me like it was the last kiss we would ever share. His shirt was off ;discarded somewhere in the hallway. His hands were gently creasing me, his lips went everywhere from my cheek, lips, jaw, shoulder, chin and just about everywhere he could get to, my clothes were discarded and then I soon became aware of the flaming, piercing pain that was shooting between my legs. I let out an agonizing cry and dragged my nails down the center of Peeta's back.

"I love you" Was the only thing Peeta told be before he took something that belonged to me. It was the only thing that he was allowed to take from me, nobody else could have it but him. It wasn't a easy thing to give him because at that moment all I could think about was the agonizing pain I was in.

To be continued...


	13. Plans and Apologies

Chapter 13

Plans and apologies.

I groaned as the sun peered through the curtains and lit up the entire room with daylight. The blankets were drawled up against my chest and I smiled sleepily as images of the previous night clouded my mind. I couldn't get his every touch, every kiss, every stroke he made out of my mind. The pain was uncomfortable yes, but it all was worth it in the end and hopefully it would ease the more times we do it, but overall it wasn't too bad for a first sexually experience. Although I left red marks all down his sides, center back and around his neck, overall it was a good night. I sat up in bed holding the blankets and sheets to my chest. Peeta was laying there with his back towards me and his blond head resting lazily against the pillow. I took a moment to study the amount of marks I have left on him, but I wasn't the only one that left marks he left his fair share of marks too. Dark red hickey marks covered my neck, I couldn't believe he had left a hickey on my neck that was a size of a golf ball. I tried to focus on last night, it had to be one of the best nights of my night, but yet worse considering the fact that Peeta almost killed me. None of that matters now he came back to me last night, made love to me and made me feel like I could take on the entire world. I snuggled up against Peeta's side and placed a kiss on his bare shoulder. He didn't stir so I did it again and this time I let my lips linger on his strong shoulder.

"Peeta" I whispered kissing my way up his shoulder to his neck, then cheek. He groaned and turned around giving me a sleepy smile that indicated that he was now awake. I continued to plant kisses on his cheek, neck and just about anywhere I could get. I was so comfortable laying in bed with him that I could do it all day which probably wasn't going to be an option since Peeta had an issue to take care of. He was going back to the capitol to hunt down anyone that would be able to cure the tracker jacker venom. I didn't want him to go back there; it may have been an safer place than it used to be, but the memories that lingered there might be to much for Peeta to handle and I did not want him to go back there without me by his side.

"Peeta" I whispered again.

"Hmm" He groaned and rolled over so he was facing me. He cracked open his baby blues and smiled at me once my gray eyes met his blues, "I thought it was a dream" He mumbled.

"Nope, It was real and it was..." My words trailed off and Peeta looked at me like I was going to say I regretted it or wished I would have waited until we got married. The thought of marrying him made me smile and I quickly leaned over to kiss him, it didn't last long because he broke the kiss and stared deeply into my gray eyes begging me to finish my sentence.

"Do you regret sleeping with me?" He asked.

"No, it was wonderful, but yet a little painful" I replied honestly.

"I hurt you?" He questioned.

"A little" I said irritated. He was killing the mood and that wasn't alright with me. This was the best morning of my whole entire life and all I wanted to do was lay here and be happy in the arms of the man I loved.

He smirked, "Well hopefully we can get a bit of practice in and make it feel completely good"

My face reddened and I suddenly burst into laughter at what he had just said, "Oh my god Peeta"

"Your cute when you blush" He chuckled.

I laughed and placed a kiss against his bare chest while he placed his arms around me. I laid on his bare chest and took great pleasure in hearing the soft beating of his heart, his intake in breaths and his heavenly scent that pierced my nostrils. Peeta held me for a long time grazing my arm with the brush of his fingertips. As much as I wanted to stay in our current position the pressure in my bladder was too much to handle. I lifted my head of Peetas chest, wrapped myself in a sheet and slid off the bed.

"Hey, Hey where you going?" Peeta asked me with his head cocked to the side and a playful pout on his lips.

"Nature calls" I giggled and skipped out of the room to empty my bladder. When I returned to the room a couple minutes later Peeta was sliding on his boxers and throwing a pair of dark gray sweatpants on. He was shirtless and I could feel the warmth in my face begin to rise. The memory of his strong body pressed up against mine was still fresh in my mind. I moved across the floor and wiggled my way into Peeta's warm arms. I wanted to forget the fact that today was the day he was going to start looking into a cure. Was there even a cure to this tracker jacker venom. Probably not. But I was going to do everything in my power to support him in his choices and if that meant going back to the capitol to hunt for a cure then I was going to let him do it,Just not without me. I was going with him weather he liked it or not.

"Can we stay here all day?" I asked and placed a kiss against his lips, "I want to make love to you all day and into the night. I wanna put this issue we have behind us. Why can't we just forget about it and be happy like we have been for the past five years" I kissed his neck and let the sheet drop from around my body so he could get a good look at my naked form. He blushed, bent forward and pecked me on the lips once before scooping the sheet off the ground and placing it back over my body.

"As much As I love the sound of practicing our lovemaking I think I should go see Haymitch and tell him what happened last night" Peeta said.

"Don't tell him that, he might start daydreaming and imagining me naked" I teased.

"Tell him about the episodes" Peeta laughed and kissed me on my lips.

"Do you think there really is a cure?" I questioned.

"I hope so, because yesterday was the last straw I had never done anything like that to you before" Peeta reminded.

"Peeta, in the last five years it only happened once a month and they were mild. They were bad and frequent this month because everything that is happening with Gale; he shouldn't have started a fight with you that was what did it last night" I said.

"I love you" He said completely ignoring me, "And it is because I love you I must do it. They may have been mild and less frequent in the past couple of years, but they are still there lingering in the back of my mind waiting to crept up and take me. And if I was able to have four in one month, whose to say I won't have six the next month or ten, fifteen, twenty after that or eventually have one everyday. I will not hurt you like I did last night. I will fix this I will get my head clear and only see you as the person I am in love with and not my enemy"

"Can you at least let me go with you?" I begged.

Peeta shook his head, "No, I will not make you go back there it will be too much for you to handle" He said.

"What about you, You can't go back there alone" I whimpered.

Peeta merely smiled and kissed me on the lips again, "We do have people that care for us that still live in the capitol. I'll be alright"

I sighed and placed my head against his chest "What if there is no cure"

"There has to be, The capitol created them as a weapon, Don't you think if one of them would of accidently gotten stung or something that they would have a cure"

"No I honesty think that they would let that person die. You know... not much is known about them wasp. The capitol created them so secretively that I wouldn't be surprised if the did have a cure and destroyed information about it. If you go there and there is no cure You'd be wasting time"

"I got to try Kat" He replied.

My face fell and I pulled away from him to walk towards our dresser so I could get changed. I let the sheet drop from around my naked body and was in the process of sliding on my underwear and clipping my bra, Peeta came up behind me still shirtless and still determine to convince me that going back to the capitol and trying to find a cure to his illness was a good idea. I wanted so badly to go with him, but he was fighting with me every step of the way and something told me I was going to loose. He wrapped his arms around my bare waist and gently placed a kiss against my neck. I tilted my head to the side and allowed him to have better access.

"You could go see Haymitch and get his feelings on this" I suggested.

"Hmmm not now" Peeta mumbled against my neck. I groaned as he sucked on my neck and added yet another hickey. If this was his way in distracting me from my determination in going to the capitol with him he was going to have to try harder than this because I was not going to give up.

"Peeta I think...uhhh..." his hands trailed down my sides, "We should not...hmmmm uhhh...Haymitch you can..." oh god his lips were sucking hard at my neck, then he moved to my cheek, the corner of my lips and my jaw. He hands came to a rest against my back and he unclipped my bra, I turned around, connected our lips and before I knew it he was carrying me back towards our bed for another roll between the sheets. I was still a bit tender but Peeta took his time in loving every inch of me. It was nearing 11:00 when we finally decided to showe (together), dress, eat and start our short trip over to Haymitch's house. Peeta and I walked hand and hand down the icy sidewalk, we were about a few feet away from the front door when Peeta stopped dead in his tracks. His brows furrowed and he was focusing on something in front of him. I followed his gaze and realized what it was that was causing him great discomfort. Here we go again, Gale was walking towards us down the icy path with his hands in his pockets. He looked like hell and it serves him right for starting a fight with Peeta. His nose was a dark bruised color and Peeta must have punched him in the eye as well because his eye was a dark color and it too was swollen.

I looked up at Peeta, "Please don't fight with him"

"If he starts with me I won't be able to respect your wishes" He said.

"He won't" I promised.

I knew by Gale's body language and the way he held his head down that all he wanted to do was apologize to me. I really hope I was right that he wasn't here to try and fight Peeta again that he seriously felt guilty for smashing me in the cheek and leaving a large dark bruise that I covered up with a small amount of make-up. I barely ever wore make-up I hated it; to me make-up hides who you really are on the outside, it's like a mask that covers your face. I didn't want to hide my perfectly straight pink lips by covering it with some dark red color and I didn't want to hide my perfectly white eyes lids by painting them with a shade of blue. Women were all beautiful on the outside and didn't need make-up to improve their appearance. Gale stopped in front of us and I could see how badly his face was...Damn Peeta really do a number on him. Not once did he look Peeta in the eyes, he remained focus on me and the small bruise that settled on my face.

"Can I talk to you" Gale asked.

"I'm kind of busy Gale" I replied.

"It'll only take a minute" He said.

I sighed, looked at Peeta and said, "Go on ahead without me"

"Are you sure?" Peeta asked shooting a glare in Gale's direction.

"Yes. It'll take a minute" I nodded.

He disconnected our linked hands, but before continuing his way to Haymitch's door, he leaned down and kissed me hard right in front of Gale. Now he was being the instigator. I kissed him back and quickly disconnected our lips, facing Gale I noticed he turned away so he wouldn't have to watch us kiss, but I knew he could still here the pecking of our lips. I watch Peeta take a seat on Haymitch's cold stone stairs, obviously he didn't fully trust Gale being around me.

"You got two minutes" I said.

"I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for hitting you like that" He began, "You know me... I don't hit women I swear to you I was aiming for him"

I scoffed, "Oh so it's okay to hit him"

"I...I...don't...yes...no I don't know" He said frustrated.

"Neither of you should have had your fist flying to begin with" I hissed lowly.

"It was a bad day" Gale said.

"Damn right it was a bad day you caused Peeta too..." My voice trailed off I was not going to tell him that he forced Peeta into an episode and because of that Peeta was thinking about going back to the capitol just to hunt for a cure. And it was all because he cut me with a kitchen knife because Gale provoked him into having an episode.

"I just wanted you to know how sorry I am and if you want to talk meet me in the forest tomorrow" He walked off in the direction of the mines leaving me completely confused. Is that all he wanted to say to me? no insults about Peeta, no telling me he was madly in love with me, no nothing. Maybe Gale was coming around after all. I watched Gale disappear around the corner and slowly made my way towards Peeta.

"Everything okay" Peeta asked.

"Yeah, come one lets go visit Haymitch" I placed my hand on his doorknob and turned it. Haymitch never kept his door locked and I usually went right in. I was hoping he would be able to help Peeta, change his mind about going back to the capitol. I opened the door and gasp at the sight of Haymitch's naked rear-end. Oh god I should of knocked. I didn't think Haymitch would be this quick with his relationship.

"What the hell!" Haymitch roared in anger.

"Oh my god" I yelled as my hands covered my eyes quickly.

"Holy mother of god... we should of knocked" Peeta said turning around.

We heard hurried footsteps and the ruffling of sheets being thrown over body parts. I took my hand cautiously away from my eyes and came face to face with the flaming red-headed women that Haymitch showed me a picture of. She was now dressed in a quick slip on bathrobe and so was Haymitch. He had the look of death in his eyes.

"Hi" She smiled, "I'm Avara"

To be Continued...


	14. Minds made up

I'M BACK and working on a much better computer Sony Vp better than the 98 HP hehe. As promise I didn't give up on this story and I am glad some of you were completely patient. here you go chapter 15 well 14 really.

Chapter 14

Minds Made Up

I think seeing Haymitch dressed in a bathrobe, hairy legs sticking out, bare feet touching the ground was nothing compared to what I had seen when I first entered his house without knocking, which I will never ever do that again. From now on I will knock I never want to see Haymitch's naked rear end again. He allowed Peeta and me to enter his house and once we were seated on his couch him and the red-headed women named Avara went upstairs to fetch some clothes. I looked over at Peeta and caught his gaze, he cracked a smile and as soon as he did I lost it and burst out laughing. Haymitch was never going to forgive me for bursting through his door while he was in the middle of doing things on his couch. My laughter died down as soon as I heard Haymitch and whats her face walking down his creaky stairs. Peeta whipped the smirk of his face and neatly folded his hands into his was dressed in baggy jeans and a white t-shirt. He glared daggers at me and Peeta for walking in on him while he was having...uh fun. I examined every inch of her trying to determine if I liked her and If she was good enough to be with my father figure; I was only looking out for Haymitch. I didn't want him with some jerk. This women however seemed like she was far from being a jerk. Haymitch and Avara took their seats on the couch opposite from me and Peeta.

"What was so important that you felt the need to barge right into my house" Haymitch sneered.

"Well it is kind of an emergency" Peeta mumbled.

"Unless someone is dying then..." Haymitch's voice trailed off as he caught sight of Peeta's sorrowful face. The corner of his lips dropped and he placed a hand in between his eyes.

"I almost killed her" Peeta said in only a mere whisper.

"Another Episode?" Haymitch asked shocked.

Peeta nodded, "Their getting worse...I don't know what to do"

I looked between Peeta and Haymitch suddenly realizing that Haymitch knew all along that Peeta has been having Episodes more frequent than normal.  
>I looked over at Avara to see if she was at all the least bit shocked in all this, she wasn't. Haymitch must of told her everything there was to tell about me and Peeta. That kind of mad me mad that he would tell a complete stranger my whole life story, but then again I could just be blaming him. I shouldn't really blame him without asking him about it first.<p>

"Shall I make us some tea while you guys talk" Avara's squeak little voice filled my ears and all I wanted to do was stuff cotton in them and drown her voice out. It was too high-pitched, her smile was too big, her hair was too puffy and her emerald green eyes stood out way to much, but looking past that overall she seemed like a pretty nice lady...way too nice for Haymitch. What was wrong with her? She was dating Haymitch, Ugh I didn't want to think about Haymitch right now because every time I did images of his naked cheeks came to my mind. I watched Avara get up and stalk off into the kitchen leave Peeta, Haymitch and I alone to talk about the issues that was going on with Peeta. The issues I never even knew about, I was mad at Peeta for not including me in his problems. I can help him I am more than capable in helping him out, Why can't he see it? I'm not as weak as most people think I do have this survival instinct that takes over me once in awhile.

"I want to find a cure" Peeta said to Haymitch.

"You know there probably isn't one" Haymitch said.

"We can look more closely at the tape" Peeta suggested.

I raised my brow in utter confusion, "Whoa! Wait! What type are you two talking about"

There was a brief silence between the two of them. I felt completely left out and abandoned. Why were they hiding things from me? Didn't they think I could handle situations like this? I looked at Peeta and shot him a deadly look...He knew better than to leave me out of things like this. The more I thought about how alone I was the more anger I had towards Haymitch and Peeta.

"Listen Sweetheart there are certain things you must stay out of" Haymitch said.

I turned to Peeta, "Tell me now!" I demanded.

"All you need to know is I love you and if I do go back to the capitol in search for a cure...I won't go alone"

I looked over at Haymitch who had this cocky ass smile spread across his face. Then it hit me; these two were planning on finding a cure way before Peeta had told me about his plans in going back to the capitol. I hated being left in the dark. I stood up from the couch yanking my hand away from Peeta as he made an attempt to grab me and make me sit down again. I stomped across the living room floor towards the door nearly bumping into Avara as she carried a large tray of tea into the living room. I snagged my coat from Haymitch's coat rack and flung open the door, I could hear Peeta's hurried footsteps behind me as he came after me. I was just about to stick my foot out of the front door when he gently grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him.

"I'm sorry" He whispered.

"Tell me please"

"Okay, just come back inside and well tell you everything" Peeta said.

I obeyed him and took my coat off my body, hung it back up on the coat rack and stalked across the room again. I took my place on the small sofa, brining my knees up to my chest I waited for Haymitch and Peeta to spill everything they knew towards me. Avara was back in the kitchen cooking what smelled like soup and it was a good thing to. I didn't want her to know any of this.

"How long have you been having these episodes? Honestly!" I asked.

"They have never stopped, but have become more frequent in the pass couple of years" Peeta replied.

"Why didn't I know, You seemed okay Peeta. I thought it was just once a month" I snapped.

"Peeta is our good little lair" Haymitch joked.

I yelled at him, "How can you joke at a time like this Haymitch!"

"Easy, Relax sweetheart" My temper flared more,

"Relax! Relax how can I relax when you lied to me Both of you"

"Sweetheart, we didn't tell you about Peeta's condition because we didn't want to worry you. I agreed to help Peeta with his problems. He came to me wanting help and help I gave him" Haymitch says calmly.

"Why couldn't you come to me" I yelled.

"I didn't want to kill you!" He yelled back.

Oh I hope Haymitch's little lady friend was not hearing this, this was not a good first impression. Not that I wanted to impress her anyway. I glanced over my shoulder to see if she was in the kitchen cooking. She was and it didn't seem like she was listening to a word we were saying. That was a plus for her...not getting into People's business.

"How long" I frowned.

"What?" Peeta asked confused.

"How long have you been looking for a cure?"

"Awhile"

"So last night was a perfect night to drop this on me...about the cure, about leaving me to run off to the capitol" I say.

"I didn't want you to find out like that" He said.

"There is no cure to the Tracker Jacker venom" I hissed.

"Your wrong sweetheart" Haymitch disproves me.

"How am I wrong"

Peeta and Haymitch exchange that look of theirs and then Haymitch gets up and stalks across the room to his video cabinet. He leans down and grabs a small black disk from inside the cabinet. I raised a brow unable to process what was going on or what Haymitch had in his hand. He walks back across the carpet and sits down across from us again. Peeta shakes his head at Haymitch...whatever is one that tape he doesn't want me to watch it.

"Haymitch please don't make her watch it" Peeta begs him.

"What is it" I asked more calmly than I have been.

Haymitch takes a deep breath and says, "It's Peeta's torture tape"

My mouth dropped in complete shock, the capitol actually recorded it. They actually video taped the beatings they gave Peeta. How dare they...Did they get enjoyment out of watching People suffer. I wasn't going to watch it, they were not going to make me watch it I was going to fight them to the end of the earth. Why did Haymitch have it in the first place? How did he even get it? My mind was flying with questions that I wanted answered.

"Why do you have it?" I asked Haymitch.

"I found it when I was helping President Paylor clean out the tapes the capitol had in a storage room"

"Why were you watching the tapes?" I asked.

"To pass the time while I was cleaning the place out" Haymitch replied.

"Why did you keep it?"

"President Snow said something while he was...you know and I think it will be able to help Peeta cure his Hijacking and get rid of it for good"

"Put it in I want to help" I demanded.

"I don't think that is a good idea sweetheart" Haymitch rejected.

"I can handle it" I said.

"No" Peeta replied.

"I want to watch it. Snow liked to play games. If he indicated to Peeta that there was a cure to the venom I might be able to figure out what he was talking about and where to find it. I could read snow pretty well"

"Kat, They did things to me that were so gruesome and so horrible that I have a hard time watching myself without getting sick"

"I'm not weak I can handle it and I can help"

Haymitch shook his head and handed the disk over to Peeta who took it and placed it into his pants pocket. Whatever was on that tape made Peeta believe that there was some kind of cure to his tracker jacker venom. I thought the two of them were nuts...there was no cure to the venom; there never has never will be. So it wasn't just Gales fault for picking a fight with him, this issue has been going on for awhile now and I was extremely angry Peeta felt the need to keep it from me. He knew I was mad at him because he tried to slid his hand into mine and intertwine our fingers, but i yanked my hand back and folded it neatly into my lap.

"I'm sorry I was only looking out for you"

"Yeah by keeping me in the dark" I snapped.

"Do you trust me?" Peeta asked.

"I need air" Was my answer. I hopped up from the couch for the second time today, slipped on my jacket and exited Haymitchs house. I really needed my best friend like now, but he was out of reach pounding away in the dark horrible mines. I wish it was tomorrow so I could meet him in the forest, so we could chat and I could seek counsel in him. Right now I wanted to be as far away from Haymitch and Peeta as possible. My feet began to walk in the direction of Gale's house and I seemed to have no control over every step I took. I needed my best friend right now. It didn't take me too long to get to seam...A mere ten minutes walking through the freezing cold, But when I did manage to walk up the all to familiar steps of Gale's house...The door opened immediately and I found myself being squished into a hug.

"Dear I have missed you so much" Hazelle Hawthorne kissed my cheek and hurried my inside out of the cold. It was warm and toasty in her house. She was cooking what looked like some sort of soup that was bubbling in a large pot. Posy was the only one in the house at the time, She was sitting in the living room playing with a small delicate dolly that her mother had probably gotten her. Vick and Rory were probably at school and Gale I knew were in the mines. He would get out at 3:00 and boy would he be surprised to see me. I just hoped he didn't get the wrong idea. I was here because I needed it to be like old times. I missed Gale and his family, I missed hunting with him, laughing with him and just being around him. It wasn't awkward back then like it was now. I followed Hazelle into the kitchen and watched her fill her sink with soapy warm water, she placed a few dishes in there and began to clean them.

"So what brings you here?" Hazelle asked me.

"I wanted to see Gale" I replied.

"In the mines" Hazelle said with a hint of worry.

"It was stupid of him to give up that job" I told her.

Hazelle nodded her head in agreement, "He did it for us, he wanted to take care of us and by being that far away it wasn't going to happen. I told him we were alright that he should focus on his future" Hazelle said.

"He shouldn't of came back here" I mumbled.

"I know, but staying there would of made him unhappy and I don't want my son to be unhappy. If being around his family makes him happy then who am I to stop him. You make him happy to Katniss"

"Has he told you about the baby" I asked changing the subject quickly.

Hazelle nodded, "Yeah, He told me about Jace and you know it was the first time I had ever seen my son cry. You need to take care of my son Katniss when I'm away. He needs his best friend, his brothers and sister"

"Huh?"

Hazelle smiled, "Oh nothing dear"

She dipped her hands back into the soapy water and continued to wash the dirty dishes. There was something a bit off about her I just could not put my finger on it. Hazelle and I spent the next couple of minutes chatting, joking and just catching up with each other. It wasn't until I heard the door open and heavy footsteps echo through the living room did I realize Gale was home and I was ready to face him.

To be continued...


	15. Acceptance and Video Tapes

**I deleted the little note I left you all so If you haven't read chapter 14 go back and read it. It is an actual chapter now and not an A/N anymore.**

Chapter 15

Acceptance and Video tapes

Gale walked into the kitchen, pecked his mother, poured himself a pot of soup and then sat down in the chair across from me. Our gazes met for a split second before his attention turned to his soup. I drummed my fingers against the table hoping he would break the intense silence. No such luck all he did was sip his soup. Hazelle left the kitchen in order to give us some privacy. Gale wanted to talk earlier today and I needed someone to talk to in order to get my mind off of Peeta and Haymitch. At the moment; both of them completely disgusted me with their secrets...there meetings with each other when Peeta had an episode. After five longs years of thinking Peeta was getting better, that he was actually healing, becoming happy and normal...I was wrong completely wrong. He was not better and has been seeking Haymitch's help and not mine. I felt betrayed, hurt and all of the above that he would not let me help him.

"How was work?" I asked Gale.

He shrugged, "Fine I guess"

I watched as he slurped the soup. Coal and dirt smeared his face only his dark eyes were the most visible thing on his body. His nose was pretty much still swollen and his eyes bruised from the fight. Gale remained silent and continued to sip his soup slowly. I felt awkward sitting there watching him take one spoonful of soup after another. Finally when he was done, he pushed it away and stared at me.

"What are you doing here?" He finally asks me. his eyes move up my face and rested on the dark bruised mark that he had left on my cheek. I was no longer mad at him for that, but I knew he wasn't going to forgive himself for punching me so hard in the mouth and cheek.

"I wanted to see you" I replied.

"Did you and bread-boy get into it?"

He had to bring up Peeta at a time like this. We really didn't get into it more like he lied to me all those times I asked about his outbursts. He only allowed me to see one every month and the rest he hid and acted like none of them happened. To top it all off Haymitch was helping him hide most of his outburst which really upset me. Had they been doing that for five years? Hiding the problem and allowing me to believe his life was normal and that he hadn't been having homicidal thoughts about me. I didn't think my month could get any worse:guess I was wrong.

"I just need my space from Peeta" I replied.

"Look Kat, I know I shouldn't have started a fight with him and I want you to know I am so sorry for everything that I put you through. Showing up at your house in the middle of the night, Telling you I love you, kissing you, punching you. I really understand If you never want to see me again"

I laughed, "If I didn't want to see you again then I would not be here. I really need someone to talk to right now. I really need a friend"

"What has baker-boy done now?"

"He's going through a lot right now and I didn't even know anything about it. I just really need to talk to someone about it"

"I'm here" Gale said.

I wasn't sure if I could tell Gale what was wrong with Peeta. I didn't want to see his reaction when I told him Peeta tried to kill me last night and then afterwards we had sex. I was going to leave out the sex part and just tell Gale what had happened last night. I knew I couldn't really blame Gale for triggering an episode because I didn't know if it was his fault or not. For all I know I could have been the one to trigger his episodes. I was beyond hurt and upset that Peeta made me believe he was fine and then come to find out that he has been having alot of episodes for the last five years.

"I don't think he trusts me" I muttered.

"Why wouldn't baker-boy trust you" Gale asked.

"Do you remember them really bad episodes he used to have?" I needed to get this off my chest and the only person around that I could tell was Gale.

"What about them?" I got his attention now, He placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward a bit in order to listen to every word I was saying.

"Turns out he has never gotten over them. After you two had that fight he tried to kill me" I mumbled.

I watched Gale's brows furrow and I was wondering if he would actually confront Peeta about it. That was the last thing I wanted him to do was question Peeta; Gale just had no business in snooping around in Peeta's business: All he had to do was listen to me.

"I'm sorry" Was all he said, no ragging comments about Peeta, no insults, no trying to convince me that I loved him. Nothing. He was really coming around I was getting my Gale back and I was thankful for that. I looked at him with nothing but joy in my eyes. I was seeing my best friend: The one I needed; The one I loved like my brother.

"Thank you" I smiled.

Gale raised a brow "For what?"

"For not insulting him or yelling" My smile grew wider.

"I'm been thinking alot about things lately. About my return to this place, about the mines, about my son, about him and you. I am a horrible disgusting human being that needs to be locked up" Gale mumbled.

"Gale don't say that I'm sure..." He moved his hand across the table and settled it across my mouth preventing me from speaking.

"Shh You need to hear this. I was stupid in thinking that you could ever love me that way. It has been him all along, it's always been him. Like you said there was never a choice to be made and I'm sorry for making you choose between us. I shouldn't have done any of those things to the two of you. That night when we kissed was the best night of my whole life, but I don't want it to happen again because of how unhappy it made you. I was stupid Catnip, I almost lost my best friend and for what? Because her heart fell hard for another man. You can't control the heart I know that and I don't want to convince yours that your not in love" Gale took his hand away from my mouth and let it drop into his lap. I was completely shocked, he has really accepted it, he had accepted that I belonged with Peeta. I did it I got my friend back.

"Thank you" I smiled widely.

"Let me ask you this: Are you happy with him?"

"Yes" I said without having to think twice about it.

"Do you love him? I mean really really love him"

"Yes I do I love him so much" I answered honestly.

"Can you forgive me for treating you like this?"

"Yes Gale I was never mad at you; just hurt that you would try and tear me from Peeta. I need him differently than I need you"

"I know... me as a friend; Him as a lover" Gale smiled.

I was so happy at this moment that I had forgotten that Haymitch and Peeta had lied to me and said Peeta's episodes were getting better, but I didn't care because at that moment I had Gale back. My brother, my friend, my family. I hopped out of the kitchen chair, Gale stood up with me and I threw my arms around his neck.

"I missed you" I said.

"I'm sorry for being an ignorant ass"

I chuckled, "at least you admit it"

There was a silence between us, I unraveled my arms from around Gale's neck and sat back in the chair while Gale poured us a cup of coffee and poured another bowl of soup. One for me and one for him. I spent another hour or so chatting with him about old times, talking about his snare traps and planning out our day in the woods tomorrow. It was getting dark when I finally decide to go home. Gale walked me out and hugged me.

"You know the holidays are coming up" Gale pointed out.

"I know" I replied.

"What do you want for Christmas?"

"My best friend over for a turkey feast" I chuckled.

"I'll see what I can do" Gale smiled, pecked me on the cheek and then shut the door. Gosh he was right they were coming up it was almost Christmas. I was never a huge fan of holidays, living in Panem you sort of forget about the joy of holidays. I walk down the icy sidewalk ;it took me a few minutes to get back to the victors village, but once I did I noticed Peeta's light was on in his house and not ours. He must of really thought I was mad at him if he was not going to spend the night tonight. I was mad at him for lying to me about his condition but that didn't mean I didn't need him with me. I drifted towards his house instead of my own and went right in, the lights were all on and the fresh scent of cheese buns filled the air. I inhaled the heavenly scent and my eyes fluttered shut.

I walked around his kitchen, living room and dinning room, but found no trace of him. The sound of running water could be heard at the bottom of his steps and I immediately knew that he was taking a shower. I stalked back towards the living room and had every intentions of sitting on his couch and wait for him, but a small black disk caught my eyes. It was sitting on the edge of his coffee table and I immediately knew that this was Peeta's torture tape. There was no reason why I couldn't watch it and not be able to handle it. At first I did not want anything to do with it, but the more I thought about it the more I wanted to see what was on this tape, Hear what snow had to say. I made sure the water was still running up stairs before I made a grab for the disk.

I slid it into my pants pocket and as quickly as I could bolted for the door. I hurried down the sidewalk and into my house where I closed the door and locked it. I turned the lights on brightening my gloomy home. I kicked off my boots and hung my coat on my coat rack before crossing the living room and sliding the disk into a tape player that I barely ever used. I flipped a piece of my hair back behind my ear and watched as the disk began to play.

_"Is it on" President snow said._

_"Yes sir" A peacekeeper replied._

_A older man with snowy white hair and a large flowing mustache came into view. He smiled straightened his tie and waved to the camera. Two other peacekeepers could be seen in the background, they were walking back and forth collecting what looked like supplies such as knives, needles and rope. Snow stepped out of the way of the camera and Peeta Mellark came into view. His head dropped to the side and he seemed to be sound asleep._

_"It is about 8:00 at night on a Wednesday. This guy behind me is going to learn what happens when you screw with the capitol. I am president Snow Leader of the capitol, Ruler of Panem and whoever is watching this please sit back and enjoy the show" Snow moved across the floor and stood next to the sleeping Peeta. Two of the peacekeepers held knives in their hands and stood on the left side of Peeta while snow was on the right. Peeta had his shirt off and was dressed in only a pair of white pants. He was tied with his hands behind his back in a chair._

_"Wake him up" Snow ordered._

_The male peacekeeper nodded and crossed the room to fetch a large bucket of ice cold water. He threw it across the room and it soaked Peeta's entire body. He jolted awake and whipped his head from left to right trying to pinpoint the exact location of his attackers._

_"Hello there Mr. Mellark" Snow grinned._

_"Where am I" Peeta asked_

_"Oh your safe, just in a little place. You tell us what we want to know and everything will be fine" Snow got in his face and placed his large pale hand at Peeta's cheek._

_"Why are my hands tied?" Peeta questioned._

_"Shh enough questions from you" Snow lifted his hand off of Peeta's face, formed a fist and smacked him in the jaw. He punched him at least 20 times before deciding to quit. Snow backed off and allowed Peeta to spit the blood on the ground before approaching him again._

_"Was your escape planned?"_

_"What escape?" Peeta answered with a question._

_"Don't play games with me Mellark" Snow clicked his fingers and the female Peacekeeper moved into place and placed the blade against Peeta's forehead, she slowly slid the blade across his forehead and he cried out echoing the whole entire room with his cries._

_"Where are the rebels forming?"_

_"I don't know know" Peeta replied honestly._

_Snow clicked his fingers again and the male Peacekeeper moved to stand in front of Peeta and the camera. The camera didn't capture what happened but the agonizing screams from Peeta, said it was brutal. They carried on the questions for about an hour._

_"Peeta, this can all stop if you tell me what I want to know" Snow said._

_"I don't know what your asking!" Peeta spat more blood on the floor, his entire face was covered in cuts and blood. Snow shook his head snapped his fingers again and the female peacekeeper held a bottle of green liquid in her hand, she handed it to snow and the male handed snow a long pointed needle._

_"He's useless to us" Snow said._

_Peeta coughed and gasped, "I-If...Your going...t-to ki-kill me...d-do i-t now and...quick"_

_"Oh Peeta I'm not going to kill you. That would be a waste. I have come to realize that talking is your greatest weapon...Thats good that is very good. We can break the little rebel yet. Miss Everdeen will be sorry she messed with us" Snow grinned._

_"You...Hurt Ka-Katniss...A-and I-I'll K-kill you" He snapped._

_Snow burst into laughter, "We aren't going to hurt her... you are" He held up the green bottle of liquid, "See this it's tracker jacker venom. It not only kills the host, but if you injected it deep into the brain it messes with your memories"_

_"So kill me with..it" Peeta gagged._

_"No We won't kill you with it" Snow held up the long needle and pointed the end of it to the bottle. The needle filled with the green liquid and snow crossed the room._

_"No don't" Peeta begged._

_"Shame you will think Katniss killed your family, friends, she is the reason why you were chosen for the hunger games. She is a mutt and a murder and you will kill her for being all those"_

_"NO" He shouted._

_"There is only one cure to this and that is...wait I don't think I should tell you, fine out for your self if you can"_

Before I could finish watching the rest of the video My TV turned off. I turned around to see Peeta standing there with his arms crossed, his brows furrowed and an angry look spread across his perfect features. I knew it I was in so much trouble with him.

To be Continued...


	16. Twisted Relationship

Keep the reviews coming and I'll keep updating You guys really motivate me in keeping this up. I wanna see If I can hit 100 reviews that would be a record for me ahaha. well anyway Read this chapter and enjoy.

Chapter 16

Twisted Relationship

I stared at Peeta with such a guilty expression written across my face. I knew I shouldn't have taken his torture disk, but I hated being in the dark about these things and I wanted nothing more than to help him. Peeta moved across the room and popped the tape out of my player. I could tell he was angry with me just by the way his body tensed up and by the way his face became emotionless. Peeta sometimes really scared me when his temper flared like this. I deserved whatever it was he was going to say or do to me. I knew I was out of line in taking his disk and was prepared for the worst.

"Why would you take it?" Peeta asked sliding the disk into his pants pocket. His voice was so deep and so deadly that shivers ran down my spine and I had a hard time looking him in the eyes. My stomach filled with butterflies as I rose to my feet and faced him. No I wasn't going to let him dominate me with his glares and frowns. I approached him and shot him the same look that he was giving me.

"I took it because I want to help you. Your being stubborn and I can't believe you and Haymitch lied to me and told me you were getting better; when your clearly not better" I hissed at him.

"There are some things I can handle by myself" Peeta said coldly.

"This isn't one of them" I frowned.

"Kat, I love you I really do but don't you think this is a little extreme?"

"Extreme" I could feel my temper begin to rise, "What do you mean extreme?"

"Taking things that don't belong to you" Peeta said.

"Excuse me if anyone is being too extreme it is you" I pointed a threatening finger at him and he backed away from me, putting a good distance between us. The more I thought about it the more angry I got. Five freaking long years of lying to me about his condition, Was this payback for faking my feelings for him during the hunger games.

"How am I being extreme?" He hissed.

"You lied to me for five long years about your hijacking. When I would ask you why you didn't spend the night at my house some nights: your reply was I fell asleep on the couch. Was that a lie?"

"I don't want to burden you with my problems" Peeta said.

"What! Are you freaking serious? Why would you think that?"

"I just didn't want you to worry thats all"

I was so mad right now that words just started spilling from my mouth without me even thinking about what I was saying or doing, "Five years Peeta, What else have you been lying to me about? Huh? When you say your going to the bakery...Are you really going or you secretly meeting with the blonde witch that I always see at your bakery." I knew he wasn't actually seeing her, but the sight of Peeta's female worker: with the blonde hair and blue eyes, thin body, cute smile; really pissed me off. Every time I would go in there I would see her hanging all over him smiling, making him laugh, making him show her how to kneed dough when I knew for a damn fact she already knew how to do it. I wanted to punch her scrawny little face in.

"Are you seriously accusing me of being unfaithful!" Peeta snapped.

"Well never know with you. Your a good liar and you said it not me" I threw at him. I couldn't believe these words were flying out of my mouth. The anger I was feeling towards him caused my words to become more and more hurtful. I couldn't stop them from spilling.

"Katniss...I would never do that to you"

"I'm not so sure" I frowned, tears were starting to surface and I did everything in my power to keep them back.

"Well your no saint either" He spat at me.

"What!"

"Running off to Gale for comfort"

"I cannot believe you just said that"

"Truth hurts huh?, You run off to Gale hoping he would comfort you with open arms. You've lied to me so many times during the wars. You lied to me about having feelings for me. How do I know you aren't lying now. Maybe Gale is right maybe you are forcing yourself to love me!" Peeta shouted

"Excuse me" Tears were flowing now and there were no stopping them.

"You heard me. How do I know you weren't faking it for five years? And honestly My hijacking problem isn't really your business"

"Yeah, I am so faking being in love with you. I gave you my virginity just so you wouldn't suspect or see my false feelings towards you. As for your hijacking I think it is my business...I have the right to know if my life is being threatened. Why couldn't you just tell me?"

"I wanted to protect you from myself" He defended himself.

"You'd tell Haymitch but not your girlfriend"

"Why are you so mad about this?"

"Because all those times I asked you about your outburst, asked you if you were alright. You looked me straight in the eyes and said nothing was wrong. I wanted to help you" I cried.

"I didn't need your help Katniss, I needed you happy and strong and if you knew about my constant hijacking episodes then your happiness would have left you" Peeta explained.

"Get out" I cried and moved towards the door to show him out, but before I could get within five feet of it Peeta grabbed me by my arms and forced me to stop. The grip he had on my arms was no too tight or to light.

"I love you and that is why I did it"

"So lying to me all those years was the best option" I spat and shrugged out of his arms and continued towards the door. I opened it and motioned for Peeta to get out even though I really didn't want him to leave. What I really wanted to do was fling myself into his arms, hug him, kiss him and beg him not to go back to the capitol. From watching the video I now knew there had to be a cure for the venom...I didn't know if snow was messing with Peeta's mind or if he was actually serious when he said something about a cure.

"Do you really want me to leave?" Peeta asked hurt.

"Yes" I lied, "I don't want to see you or Haymitch"

Peeta walked across the room, but instead of walking out the door; he slammed it shut and placed his hands against my cheek. I felt the heat in my face rise as he creased my cheek with the his hands. He leaned forward and pecked me quickly on my lips.

"Do you love me?" Peeta asks wiping the tears out of my eyes.

"Yes" I cried.

"Do you trust me?"

"I-I don't know" I sobbed.

"Look at me"

I obeyed and my watery gray eyes locked with his blue ones, "You lied to me" I reminded him. I don't think I was ever going to get over the fact that he looked me straight in the eyes and told me everything was fine. I guess any other women would be furious with this information and furious I was yes, but I was going to get to the bottom of it.

"I'm sorry I know it was a stupid thing to do and I should of told you about my plans from the start, but you were just so happy and that was all I wanted from you. I haven't seen you smile or laugh like that in a long time. By telling you I was having more and more episodes would of killed your happiness and that was the last thing I wanted. So I told Haymitch what was wrong and he agreed to help me. He went to the capitol and offered his services to Paylor; all the while looking for a cure. When he came back and showed me the tape. I knew deep down that there had to be a cure and that I should start looking for it right away. I wanted to look for a cure for you. It's all for you...if I can get that poison out of my brain and become normal again then we can actually live without having to worry about when the next time I was going to try and kill you"

"Just please let me help you" I begged.

Peeta sighed deeply; he knew I was not going to give up my argument. He didn't say anything just leaned forward and captured my lips with his. We kissed until our breaths were heavy and we were out of air. Peeta placed his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes.

"I do love you and only you. Not Ceal from work, Every single women in the world can throw themselves at me and I would not look twice at them" Peeta said.

"I'm sorry for lying and for all the nasty things I said" He kissed me again and ran his hands through my hair.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch" I apologized in between kisses.

"Sorry for leaving you out of everything" He kissed me again and again.

"Sorry for stealing your disk" I ran my hands through his blonde hair while he kissed my neck and caused the hickeys to become red again.

"Sorry for trying to kill you" He mumbled against my neck .

"Sorry for being a horrible girlfriend" I fiddled with the buttons of his shirt and quickly discarded it. I knew where this was going and had no intentions of stopping it. My legs suddenly started to feel weak, but Peeta took care of that: he lifted me off the ground, I wrapped my legs around his waist and took his face between my hands and kissed him harder.

"Sorry for being a homicidal boyfriend" He carried me to the first piece of furniture he could find: The couch. He laid me on the couch and my hands went to the button of his pants. His hands slid under my shirt and lifted it up over my head. Boy did we have an odd relationship, one minute we were exchanging nasty comments towards each other and the next he was kissing me so hard that I felt like I was going to die.

30 minutes later Peeta and I lay in front of the warm newly built fireplace. I was wrapped in nothing but a blanket. Peeta had his arms around me and was in the process of running his fingers down my bare arm. I sighed to myself as he pecked my bare shoulder. We were in a sitting position, I leaned against his bare chest and lazily let the back on my head hit his shoulder. Between the warmth from the fireplace and the warmth from his body I would not become cold.

"We got one weird Twisted relationship" I mumbled.

"How so?" Peeta asks.

"One minute were taking each others heads off, yelling screaming and then the next minute we're having sex on the couch, on the floor and in front of the fireplace" I blushed and turned my head so I could peck Peeta's chin.

"Hmm maybe we should fight more often if It'll end like this" Peeta grinned and kissed my neck.

"Peeta, I've been thinking"

He stopped kissing my neck, "About what?"

"About babies" I said.

Peeta raised an eyebrow and tightened his hold on me. I have been thinking about this for some time now ever since me and him started to make love. We have done it three times and in those three times we have done nothing to prevent pregnancy. I did not want to get pregnant and bring a baby into THIS world. Even if President Paylor was doing everything she could to stay in office and to build a new free world. Peeta was all I needed, I didn't need kids. Besides every time I look at a kid or even come into contact with a kid I see Prim and the life that she could of lived. She should be 17 years old today or close to there.

"If we are going to be making love like this I think maybe we should be careful" I said.

His face fell and he simply nodded, "Okay"

"I cant afford to bring a baby into this world" I mumbled.

"I understand. Lets uh not talk about babies" Peeta said dropping another kiss to my neck.

"What do you want to talk about then?"

"Christmas" Peeta got this huge joyful smile when the subject of holidays were brought up. He loved them almost too much. He loved thanksgiving most of all because he always baked dessert. He loved baking the cookies, the pies, the pumpkin rolls and best of all cheese buns. I shuttered at the thought of the tasty cheesy bun sliding down my throat.

"We can have Haymitch and Whats her face other" I suggested.

"Haymitch, Avara, maybe Greasy Sae and some people from the seam"

"I wanna invite Hazelle too" I said.

"I suppose you wanna invite Gale"

"He's my friend Peeta" I said.

"I know, but it doesn't mean I have to like him" Peeta frowned.

I smiled and leaned up to kiss his lips quickly, "I think he is coming around which is such a relief"

"What do you mean?"

"I went to see him and Hazelle today. He asked me if I was happy and if I was in love with you. I told him yeah and I think maybe he finally excepts the fact that I love you and that I am not going anywhere"

"Well if we are going to have a small Christmas party might as well invite him" Peeta said. I knew his words were force just because of the way he said it.

"Gale will behave I promise"

"I hope your right because I really don't feel like pounding his face in front of our friends"

I smiled and quickly changed the subject, "What do you want for Christmas"

"I got what I want right here" He replied hugging me tightly and kissing me against me neck. I giggled as he began to tickle my sides while kissing every inch of my neck, "What do you want for Christmas young lady"

I thought of the most ridiculous thing I could and the giggled, "I want to marry the man I love"

He stopped kissing my neck and looked at me with nothing but a serious expression, "Seriously"

"Peeta...I was Joking I..." He cut me off.

"Do you want to be my wife? Like seriously want to marry me?"

"Someday" I replied.

Peeta said nothing else, He positioned us so that he were laying down. My mind kept wandering, Did he really want to marry me? Did I put the idea of a proposal in his head? Would I say yes? No I was being paranoid I just needed to stop worrying. I focused on the flames before me and before to long I fell into a deep sleep.

To be contiuned...


	17. Holiday Plans

Chapter 17

Holiday Plans

I woke up the next morning in the comfort of my own bed, I was still naked as a baby. The covers were pushed off of me revealing my bare chest to whoever would walk into the room. Peeta must have carried me up to our room last night because the last thing I remember was the bright flames of our fire. He was not beside me when I became fully awake, probably downstairs cooking breakfast for me. I loved when he cooked me breakfast although he would probably never cook me breakfast in bed anymore just because I threw the last breakfast to the ground and made loved to him instead of eating it. The horrible mess I was forced to clean was one I never wanted to clean again. I swear the syrup was still sticking to the carpet and no matter how hard I scrubbed it wouldn't come out. I smiled happily to myself and remembered the previous night. I loved Peeta's every touch, his every kiss, I Loved how he was incredibly gentle with me and I was surprise at how incredibly good it now felt.

I lifted my body off the bed and walked naked across my room to fetch a towel. I was going to shower,dress and then walk downstairs and have breakfast with my lover. I entered the bathroom and shut the door behind me, I set the towel on the towel rack and approached the tub, I turned on the hot scolding water and allowed the water to soak my fingers. I took a moment to drink in my appearance, Peeta had left so many marks on my body that I had better wear something that would cover every single one of them. They were all over my neck, shoulders, nail marks were on my sides and I did not care not one little bit. I soaked my body in the hot water and let my mind wander.

The water was soothing and comforting. I groaned and leaned my head back against the tub. I didn't shower for long once my hair was washed and my body was scrubbed I left the comfort of the water and threw a towel around my violated body. I smiled at the thought; he did violate me and big time. None of that mattered though I wanted him to and would allow him to every night if that was what we both wanted and needed. I dressed in my hunting pants, pulled on a sweat-shirt and socks. I walked down the steps and immediately the heavenly scent of cheese buns filled my nostrils and that was all it took for me to start the hunt for them. I strolled into the kitchen with my hands in my pockets, there they were sitting on the counter just waiting for me to devour them wonderful little buns. Peeta was bent over the oven taking something out of the oven racks. He placed the pan on the counter in front of him and then quickly turned around as I started munching on his wonderful cheese buns.

"Good morning to you too" Peeta smiled.

I devoured the cheese bun and without another word said, approached him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I drove him into a deep kiss, my hands slid under his white t-shirt and that was when he forced my hands out of his shirt and looked me in the eyes and said, " Kat, If you don't behave yourself you might accidently get pregnant from all of our love making."

"But your so handsome and irresistible, I can't keep my hands off you" I said kissing him again.

"I know how you feel trust me. I really want t make love to you every hour out of every day, but I just don't have that kind of stamina and anything can happen." He lectured me.

I sighed in defeat and snatched another one of his cheese buns off the table. I turned my back towards him and began nibbling on the warm bread. He chuckled at my playful pout I was giving him and turned his attention back to the oven to put another batch of cookies in. The dry taste left in my mouth from the cheese buns caused me to open the fridge and take out a gallon of milk. As I closed the door and poured myself a glass of milk I caught sight of the large calendar hanging on the fridge. My eyes widen and I shook my head where has the time gone it was December 21st today almost Christmas in three days. Not that I cared or anything, Christmas used to be for wealthy children, the children whose parents lived in the capitol and had rich jobs. When Snow ruled he forbid the districts in ever celebrating Christmas, but yet the people that lived in the capitol at the time would throw big parties, exchanging pointless gifts and stuff their faces with as much food as possible. Prim and I had never even celebrated a Christmas when we were growing up because the capitol made it illegal for us to do so.

"Are you alright over there?" Peeta asked me.

I nodded, "Just thinking"

"About what?"

"The holidays" I say sounding little depressed, "Its just that...I feel like we are celebrating one of their holidays you know. I mean for the longest time it was forbidden to have a tree or to exchange presents or get together and throw a big feast. Prim and I never had one growing up and I just feel like it is another day" I said.

"We don't have to do anything if you are uncomfortable with it"

"See I want to spend time with Haymitch" I smiled up at him and gently pecked him on his lips before continuing,"Even though I am still mad at him and you" I added.

Peeta chuckled and rolled his eyes, "By the way you were saying my name last night it seems to me that you forgot everything about that lie and that I was forgiven"

"Oh no I am still pretty irked at you for lying just not as mad and besides I got my ways of payback" I smiled deviously.

"Oh yeah and what is that?"

"It's for me to know and you to find out" I said.

Peeta smiled at me, wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me quickly before stalking off through the kitchen to kneed more dough. I told him I was going hunting this morning that I wouldn't be back until probably the afternoon. He told me to be careful and not fall through any ice this time. I haven't been out hunting since my accident which my head has completely healed. The only thing that was wrong with me now was the dark bruise that had settled on my face. I slipped on my fathers jacket and took off towards the lifeless fence that had failed to run for five years. It was freezing outside; it had to be at least 30 degrees, ugh I hated this type of weather, but it was good for game. Deer, rabbits and squirrels were somewhat fond of the cool weather and if I was able to shoot a deer then we would be good to go for the little Christmas party Peeta wanted to throw.

As long as I have been alive I have only celebrated three Christmas and three New Years. I just wasn't in the holiday spirit this year or any other year for that matter. The capitol had spoiled all that for me along with so many other kids. It wouldn't be so bad though: the party, maybe it will get Peetas mind away from going to the capitol and searching for a cure to his Tracker jacker venom. I wish he would have let me watched the rest of that disk, I was able to somewhat read Snow and if he had given any other hint about that cure then I probably would of picked up on it.

I came to a stop at the lifeless fence and slid under the opening and into my other home. The forest. I missed this place and all its wonders It has been far too long since I was able to come here and just be free from everything. Free from my issues and just free from myself. I wandered through the forest for a couple of minutes before I came across the hallow log where I kept my bows and arrows in. I dipped down to feel around the hallow log for my bow and arrows, but found nothing. Shoot. I must of lost them that day I slipped through the ice, either that or they were still sitting abandon of the icy bank of the lake. I needed to go that way anyway; I was supposed to be meeting Gale here for a little one on one time. I wanted to talk with him and make sure that everything was alright between us. I wandered the woods for another good ten minutes or so before coming to the lake that I had fell through. Gale was sitting there on the icy bank with my bow and arrows at his side. He must of either found them or took them, but something told me he found them right where I had left them.

As soon as he heard my footsteps; he turned around, gave me a warm smile and lifted his body off the chilling hard ground. I approached him gave him a friendly hug and scooped from cold bow and arrows off the ground.

"What's up?" Gale asked.

"Nothing much I was hoping we were still meeting today"

"Why would we not be?"

I shrugged, "I don't know because I talked to you yesterday"

"I just really need to get things off my chest and I have said this a thousand times. I am so sorry for punching you in the face." His fingers came up and brushed the small dark spot on my cheek. His touch was so warm and so soft that I had to back off immediately.

"Gale, was everything you said true? Do you accept the fact that I love him?"

"Yes, but you got to realize I will never stop loving you"

I mentally slapped him in the face for that comment. I didn't want him to be in love with me I wanted him to view me as a friend and not a lover he can't have. We were silent for a moment and then the snapping of twigs brought us out of our silence and forced us to gaze in all different directions to try and pinpoint the exact locations of the snap. I smiled and pointed to Gale as a large buck came into view. Gale's eyes widens with excitement and he smiled a me, pointing to my bow and then back to the deer I knew now he wanted me to be the one to have the first kill of the day. I lifted my bow from the ground, aimed it at the feeding deer, placed an arrow between the string and wood and let it fly straight through the deers heart. It dropped to the ground and I jumped up and down thrilled that I had made my first kill in over the past few weeks.

"Damn Catnip, you still got it" Gale complemented me.

I grinned at him, "Of course I still got it"

"You know we are going to have to chop that thing up ourselves. He is too big for us to carry"

"Can you do it?" I pleaded.

I hated skinning the poor animals and getting their blood all over me. I was able to kill them but I was not able to watch the blood seep from the lifeless animals body. Gale usually did all that stuff when we caught something big like this. I wish we could of just dragged the large animal into town and had our butcher take care of it. Rooba was good at butchering the deer we bring her, but this sucker was to big to drag all the way to her shop.

"Okay you know what we can manage to drag his large ass to the butcher. We've done it before" Gale smiled.

I agreed with Gale and the two of us began the long journey back into town dragging a large thousand pound deer. It will be worth it in the end. We would have fresh deer meat in the freezer and I would be able to cook stew tonight for me and Peeta. I took deep breath as we journeyed through the forest and towards the fence. Along the way Gale and I talked back and forth about the upcoming holidays and what we were going to do or what we had planned. I told him Peeta wanted to throw together a small gathering and that him and his mother, brothers and sister were all welcomed to come. I knew by Gale's body language that he did not like the idea of being in the same room as Peeta. He might have told me he accepted the fact that I loved Peeta with all my heart and soul and that I would do anything for Peeta, but I knew deep down there was no way he was never going to like Peeta. But I hope he would try.

"Does Baker-boy like deer meat?" Gale questioned.

He was making an effort to talk about Peeta like he was an actually human being and not an animal. He still wouldn't call him by his first name but this was a start in improving their relationship. I couldn't have my best friend and boyfriend hate each other. I would feel like I had to choose between the two of them and that was something I couldn't do.

"Peeta likes it in stew" I replied.

"So does Rory" Gale said, "Posy wont eat a single bite of it and Vick likes it cooked without anything in it" Gale grunted as he pulled the deers leg towards him. I don't know how we managed to get the beast over the fence,but we did and before long we were in town carrying what felt like a thousand pound animal. We entered Rooba's shop and her face immediately lit up once she saw us.

"Perfect shot through the heart" Rooba smiled, "As always"

"Can you butcher it for us and then let us know when it is ready?" Gale asked politely.

Rooba nodded her head and helped Gale and I drag it into the back room. We said our goodbyes to Rooba and was out in the cold again. I kept sensing something was off with Gale,but I couldn't quiet put my finger on it. He kicked a small pebble sending it flying into the slushy puddle in front of us.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"You remember the reasons why I told you I had came back?"

"Yes because of the memory of your son, to be with your family and because you love me" I mumbled the last part of the sentence.

"There is one more reason as to why I came back" Gale muttered.

Oh great what was he going to lay on me now? I knew it was nothing good just because of how he was acting. His eyes locked with the ground in front of him and he stopped his movements all together. I placed a hand on his shoulder in comfort and told him it was okay that he could tell me anything.

"It's my mother" Gale said in a mere whisper.

"What about her?"

Gale took a deep breath, looked up from the ground and said, "She has cancer"

To be Continued...


	18. Whats in Between

Chapter 18 Whats in between

I gave Gale a sorrowful look and grabbed him into a comforting hug. I felt so bad for him, his mother had cancer that was slowly eating away at her. Hazelle was too nice of a person to have such a deadly thing. Why didn't he tell me this sooner? Why did he have to keep it to himself and deal with it on his own. I wondered if the other knew about it. Posy was probably still too young to understand death and illness but I could guess Vick and Rory would understand. This was not fair he didn't deserve to loose his father, his son and his mother. Hugging him was the only thing I could offer him. I could feel his chest begin to rapidly rise and fall as he held back the tears I knew was coming. I wasn't the only reason why he had came back; he had came back to take care of her not just to force me out of love. I felt like a horrible human being in just assuming that he had came back just for me. How was he going to take care of his brothers and sister? Working in the mines paid him very little. Money was still a huge issue in the world of Panem and always will be. I tightened my hold on Gale and allowed him to bury his face in the crook of my neck and completely sob. He was crying I had never seen my best friend cry like that; Snow began to fall from the heavens and soak the ground beneath our feet. I held Gale tightly and patted his large back in a comforting way. When he took his face out of the crook of my neck I could see the large amount of fresh tears that were rolling down his cheek. This was not fair; why out of all the people in the world did this ugly beast have to choose Hazelle.

"We will get through this I promise" I ran my hand through his hair and he tightened his hold from around my waist. I suddenly became aware that him holding me like this was a little bit to romantic, but I did nothing to wiggle my way out of his arms or even push him back an inch or too. It wasn't until he pressed his forehead against mine did things get really intense, his dark watery eyes meet mine and he slowly started to lean in. I grabbed his face in between my hands and shook my head, wiping the tears that were forming in his eyes in the process. Gale nodded at my rejection and stepped back and inch or too.

"I'm sorry, emotions suck and I hate letting them get the better of me" Gale wiped the newly fresh tears from is eyes and cleared his throat. He hated letting people see his weak side; he kept everything bottled up inside of him, never to be revealed to anyone.

"Your only human" I said.

"I'm a man and men our strong, They don't cry for things like this" He said.

"Men cry to" I revealed.

Gale snorted, "I'm too strong to cry"

"She is your mother Gale you should cry over her once in awhile"

"I just don't know what I am going to do without her" Gale whimpered.

"Make her feel as comfortable as possible, be there for her" I explained to him.

This was so unfair and wrong I wanted to take the evil creature that was killing Hazelle slowly and painfully and banish it from the world. She looked alright when I saw her yesterday. She didn't look like a women that was suffering from Cancer. Usually cancer patience became pale, lost their hair and were in a whole heap of pain twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. Gale had it rough and I suddenly became very sorry that I ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it. I did love him just not in that way and I was going to be there for him no matter what. He was not going to get rid of me that easily. When Hazelle did go I was going to help him in every way possible. I still had truck loads of money I could give him, even though he wont take a single penny from me. The money came from the old ruthless capitol and Gale refused to have anything to do with them. I wanted to wipe them from my memory too but it was impossible to do so after everything they had put me through.

"Will you promise me something?" Gale turned around so he was facing me with nothing but a hurtful expression written across his face. I nodded. "Promise me you will never leave me, that you will always be here. That you will always be..." He gulped, "My friend"

I smiled at him, "You know I will. I'll take care of you"

Gale sighed deeply, "Can I ask you something?"

I nodded, "Yes"

It took his a few moments to ask but when he did he placed his hands on both side of my face, gently creasing my bruise: he asked, "Did you ever love me?"

I nodded, "Yes Gale I did"

He let out what sounded like a huff and a chuckle, "I screwed up, I could of had you during the wars. I should of never walked out of your life. I handed you to him and that was stupid for me to do. I wish I can turn back time. Not help build that bomb, I wish I could of saved Prim, saved that little girl from her horrible fate. I lost you the moment I stepped out of your life."

"I'm sorry Gale. I really am...I don't want to hurt you like this; I don't want to rip out your heart and stomp on it"

"Then don't" He says grabbing hold of my hand and pulling me into his arms, He placed his lips by my ear and said, "Be with me again, search your heart and find the feelings you had for me during th war. You know feelings like that just don't leave a person"

"I love Peeta and I'm sorry that it hurts you, but it's always going to be him"

"I know dammit it kills me inside to try and accept the fact that I am never going to be able to kiss you like he can; that I am not going to hold you at night or cook for you or tell you I love you and have you say it back. I lost that right and It's kills me every day knowing things could have been different if I only acted different"

"I'm sorry" Was the only thing I could say to him. I hated hurting him like this;I hated seeing him in so much pain and agony because of me. He needed someone to take care of him, to love him like he deserved to be love, that someone just couldn't be me. I couldn't bring myself to choose Gale over Peeta. I loved Peeta way to much to leave him even if I was extremely mad at him for lying to me about his hijacking, that argument between us was far from over, Peeta had not won yet I wasn't going down without a fight. Gale and I hadn't said another word to each other as we walked back into the warm butcher. Rooba was standing at her counter hovered over a piece of paper writing something down on it with her number 2 pencil. As soon as we entered she looked up and smiled.

"All done" Rooba smiled.

"How much do we owe you" Gale asked fishing around in his pants pocket. I stepped forward and slid the proper amount of money onto Rooba's counter. She counted it, thanked me and disappeared from sight. I could feel Gale's eyes boring into the back of my head. He was a little annoyed that I paid for the meat myself. I wasn't going to let him pay; not with everything he was going through. The least I could do was give him free meat for everything I was putting him through and everything that he was going through. Rooba came back a couple minutes later carrying the newly butchered deer meat. She had to make a couple of trips there was alot of it; not only meat, but the deer skin, antlers, hooves and just about everything found on a huge buck like that. Gale and I thanked her and dragged our supplies out into the cold street. We split the meat and he took the skin and hooves to trade at our new Hob. He left me with half the meet and antlers.

"You didn't have to pay for all this" Gale lightly scolded me.

"I wanted to" I said.

"Why because you feel pity towards me?" He frowned.

"No because I..." He cut me off.

"I don't need anyones pity, I am fully capable of handling things on my own"

"Why are you getting mad Gale?"

"I'm not getting mad I am just a little aggravated" He replied.

"Why?"

"Because you feel the need to baby me" He spat.

"Gale I only wanted to help pay for the meat" I defended myself.

Gosh he was so bipolar one minute he was kind to me and the next he was taking my head off and telling me not to pity him just because I paid for his meat. I was only trying to be a good friend was that so wrong? Gale made my head hurt so much sometimes; with him mood swings and his jealousy of Peeta that I knew still lingered deep down. He was a very complicated person to handle and he never used to be like that until the war.

"Well I'll pay for on my own from now on" He hissed.

"Why do you have to be such a bipolar bastard" My angry could no longer be contained, I blew up on him, dropping the meat and antlers on the cold ground, "Why must you be so freaking difficult to deal with! You never used to be like this before. One minute your sweet and kind and I think things are back to normal and the next minute your yelling at me for buying you meat and helping you out. Why the hell is that?"

"Because that money is from the capitol, the old Capitol and I don't want anything to do with them" Gale spat.

"Their gone okay gone. I needed every cent they had to get me by. I needed to get something from them beside torture, nightmares, scars and death"

"You got him from them isn't that enough!"

"Oh my god Gale are you really back to this? Are we really back to square one? I thought you changed; I thought we were alright. What about all those things you told me last night about there not really being a choice and that you have come to accept the fact that my heart belongs to him and only him"

"I can't do it, I have tried to convince myself that it is okay to let you go ,that it is okay to let him have you, but I just can't dammit I CANT" Gale was yelling now and I was thankful there was nobody in the streets with us.

"So that is it then? You were lying to me last night? None of what you said was true?"

"Oh no most of it was true. When I said there was never a choice to be made that was a lie. I know for a fact there is something there and I am going to do everything in my power to show you" Gale said. I threw my hands up in the air in frustration, picked the meat up from the snowy ground and began walking towards home. I really thought I had my best friend back, that everything between us was alright, that he accepted the fact that I was happy and in love. I glanced over my shoulder just in enough time to see Gale slam the deer meat on the ground and chase after me. I stopped and let him catch up.

"I can't stand this. I don't mean to be a prick I'm...I 'm having a hard time letting you go. I don't mean to have mood swings...I just...I hate you sometimes for not being in love with me"

"I'm not talking to you anymore because it does no good. I have to face the fact that my best friend is gone and I am not getting him back. You know Gale why don't you just kick me out of your life" I hissed.

"What!"

"Kick me out of your life. Save us both from heartache and pain"

"You know I can't do that"

"Why not? I don't love you like you want me too so there is no reason for me to be around you... huh?"

"Your so frustrating you now that" Gale growled.

"I'm the frustrating one?" I snorted and threw my bags of deer meat on the ground again, "Your the one that lies to me and tells me that everything is okay between us; then you turn all bipolar on me and start yelling at me again. Just kick me out of your life and be done with it"

"Leave him and I won't kick you out of my life" He did not just say that. How dare he force me to do something like that. So this was it, it was either him or Peeta. He was never going to accept me with Peeta still in my life. I felt sorry for him because of his mother and I knew he was hurting, but right now all I wanted to do was escape from him and leave him in the cold streets of district 12.

"I'm not going to leave him" I yelled.

"Fine then goodbye Katniss Everdeen" He started walking away from me and I quickly grabbed hold of his arm and stopped him from moving any further. He must of gotten the wrong idea because when he turned around to face me, he placed his lips on mine and drove me into a lustful kiss. I broke away and slapped him in the cheek.

"Why do you have so much conflict within you" I yelled.

"I don't know I really don't" Was his answer.

"Your not the only one with conflict" I shouted at him as he began to walk away from me. Truth was I had so many conflicts with my feelings and emotions. One minute I loved him like my brother and the next I...Did I loved him like that. Yes, No, maybe I don't know. I did know this I needed him in my life; I couldn't just let him leave me alone. I would figure something out, "Please Gale nows not the time to fight. You need me more than ever now. Your mom needs you happy and right now your not happy"

"My mother is not your concern anymore Katniss" He hissed meanly at me.

"So this is it, this is how it ends? with you walking out of my life because of the man I am in love with"

"Guess so" He began walking away from me again,but I would not let him get away so easily. I had to do something to make him stay I wasn't going to let my best friend walk away from me.

"Fine! Yes! I do okay I love you" I shouted out and It seemed like a huge weight had just been lifted off of me.

To be continued...


	19. Waiting

Hold your horses killers lol, This Is NOT A galeniss story, I love you guys and your support and I love writing this story and I am thinking about making more and more for the hunger games hehe. This one has to be the best story I have ever written and I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it. Please continue to write reviews I wanna see if I cant hit 120 lol. Don't worry people I repeat this is NOT a Gale and Katniss story I'd would not be writing it if it was. Peeta is just right for Katniss.

Chapter 19

Waiting

Why did I just say that to him? Did I mean any of it, my emotions were once again running wild. Gale looked at me in utter shock, his mouth was hanging open and He had uncertainty in his eyes. I didn't mean it like that... did I? I did love him, but not in that way. Telling him I love him was the biggest mistake ever, I was just leading him on even more and I did not want to do that anymore. Gale approached me and placed his hands against my shoulders. I took a step back and caused his hands to fall from my shoulders. I think I only said that because he was walking away from me, out of my life forever and that was the last thing I wanted him to do was walk out of my life forever. I loved Peeta not him. I should of just let him go and not lie to him like I just did.

"Are you serious?" He asked, his face became blank and he folded his arms waiting for a reply.

"I...I...can't...no" I muttered.

Gale shook his head, frowned and began walking in the other direction again. I was so mad at him, mad at myself and mad at the world for being put into this kind of situation. I rubbed my temples in frustration and made a small attempt in chasing after him. I was determine to set things straight with him once and for all. He was no longer going to put me in this kind of love triangle we all sort of had going on.

"Go ahead and walk away from me. Destroy our friendship. You know If it was reversed, If I was with you and Peeta loved me like you do then He would not think twice about getting into my way of happiness. Which that makes him the better man between the two of you. You would rather have me be unhappy with you than be happy with him. Is that it? Peeta would want me to be happy no matter what and he would never ever try and change my mind of anything" I raised my voice loudly and my words caused him to stop, crouch and run a hand through his jet black hair. The snow that was falling from the heavens was becoming more and more thick and I suddenly began shivering. Gale failed to move or even say anything. I rolled my eyes at him and stalked off in the direction of the victors village, right now I needed the soft warm comfort of Peetas arms. I didn't want to accept the fact that Gale was gone forever, that he decided to kick me out of his life because of my love for Peeta. I snatched my abandoned deer meat from the ground and did not glance over my shoulder to see where Gale might have run off to. I didn't care I stomped my way through the snow and slush.

Once I got home I barged through my door and slammed the deer meat against the floor. Peeta was in the kitchen baking when he heard the loud noise from the deer meat. He poked his head around the corner and lifted an eyebrow at my behavior. He came into view wearing one of his long aprons, his hands were covered in flower and there was dough that stuck between his fingers. I had a very strong urge to do what Haymitch said to do in order to get Gale to back off from us. I would jump Peeta's bones right in front of Gale; serves him right. I discarded my hunting jacket, kicked off my boots and kicked the deer meat to the side. I entered the kitchen and poured myself a hot cup of coffee. I grasp the cup between my hands and took a seat on my wooden chair.

"Everything alright?" Peeta asked me.

"No, everything is not alright, Gale is being the biggest asshole out there" I blew.

"What has he done now?" Peeta pulled the chair across from me across the floor and took a seat, "I am really getting tired of seeing you upset because of him" Peeta growled.

"He just doesn't get it Peeta, I LOVE YOU! You know his mother has cancer, and he is going to need someone when she passes on. I want to help him, he is my family and I love him like my brother" I paused for a second, remembering everything that I had said to Gale. I wasn't going to lie to Peeta, "I told him I loved him" I blurted out.

"What?" He looked hurt and betrayed.

"I didn't mean it, he was threatening to walk out of my life and I couldn't have that" I said.

"Why are you trying so hard to convince him to remain in your life?" Peeta asked a bit aggravated.

"Because he is my friend" I replied.

"You know I am sick and tired of all this shit he is pulling!" Peeta hissed.

"What can I do. It's either him or you and personally I love you too much to choose him." I say taking a sip of my coffee.

"I supposed he kissed you too" Peeta said angrily.

"I slapped him for it, I was trying to comfort him that was all I was doing" I say honestly.

"I really am about to go over there and beat the dog snot out of him"

"Peeta, please Hazelle doesn't need this right now"

There was a brief silence between us and I could see the confusion in Peeta's blue eyes. Was he going to get mad at me just because Gale had the nevere to kiss me again. It wasn't my fault I didn't think he would do something like that. I placed my forehead against the table and let out an angry sigh. I wanted to bang my head of the table and hopefully forget all about Gale and his stupid lies and his stupid kiss that he felt the need to give me.

"Want to come to the into town with me?" Peeta invited me.

"Yes, I really would like that" I accepted his invitation and went into the living room to fetch my coat and the deer meat that I had left behind. Peeta rose from the chair and discarded his apron he was wearing. He turned off the oven and began cleaning the flour that was all over my counter. He was going to try and cheer me up, but how. There was nothing to do inside district 12 besides hunt, fish and watch the high school students walk home from school and if you were lucky you would get to see them high school students punch each others faces in. I didn't know what he had in mind, but whatever it was I was going to go along with it. I would do anything to get my mind off of Gale and the lies that he fed me yesterday at his house. He was probably going to take me to the bakery; which was alright considering I loved to watch him bake and I loved to stalk his shelves.

"Here grab me my jacket" Peeta said pointing towards the coat rack, I nodded and unhooked his jacket and my jacket from the coat rack in the living room. He met me halfway and I was about to hand him his jacket but the collar of it slipped through my fingers and I dropped it to the ground. Peeta merely chuckled and picked it up by the sleeve, there was a small clicking sound and a black object fell out of his coat pocket. I didn't get a chance it see what it was because Peeta kicked it across the floor and it vanished underneath our couch. My heart fell to the ground that wasn't what I thought it was...Was it? He couldn't have gotten me a ring already. I looked at Peeta whose face was as red as an apple, sweat began to drip from his forehead as I moved towards the couch and tried to retrieve the little black box that just had fallen out of his pocket.

"Kat, um don't do that" Peeta said sliding his hand into mine.

"What did you kick" I gulped.

"Nothing important" he told me, his face was getting redder and his hands were getting sweater. I quickly pulled my hand from Peetas and darted for the couch. Peeta didn't have time to stop me. I crouched down and scooped the little black box up into my hands. I was right it was a ring box. I opened it before Peeta had time to snatch it from my hand. Tears of joy filled my eyes as I got sight of a little white pearl in the center of the gold ring.

"Peeta are you..."

"It is your Christmas present. I wanted to replace your old pearl with this one and I..." He yanked at his turtle neck, "I wanted to ask you to marry me"

My heart dropped as he approached me and took the small little box from my hand. I couldn't breath as he set the box aside and dropped to his right knee. God please he wasn't going to do it now was he? It was too soon, besides marriages leads to getting pregnant and that was the last thing I wanted to do was get pregnant and become a mother. My breathing started to become uneasy as he took my hand into his. This was it I had to give him an answer, was I ready for this? Yes, definitely. This was my Peeta and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Screw Gale, Screw Peetas lies about his hijacking problem and screw his hijacking problem. He was going to purpose to me and I was going to say yes.

"Katniss Rose Everdeen" Oh go here it comes, "My life has gone in a whole different direction since I have meet you. Kat you make me want to be a whole different person. I know I am supposed to get down on one knee and tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me, but that it overrated and that is how every girl in the world get purposed to, but Katniss you are not like most girls you are more special and you deserve better" He returned to his original height and stared me in the eyes, "I will not purpose to you like a normal man does to the women he is in love with, I will stand here on my own two feet, look you in the eyes and tell you I love you, tell you that I want to be there for you, that I want watch you bear my children" Oh god tears were running down my cheek and a small weak smile spread across my face, "I want to turn gray with you and I want to die with you. I want to love you with with each passing day until our lives end. It's not the right time Kat. You kind of ruined my surprise, I was going to purpose to you on later on. I will not do it here in this gloomy living room"

"Can I wear it" I asked.

Peeta smirked and shook his head, "Nope, not until I feel like asking you to marry me"

I groaned as Peeta shut the lid of the box and slid it into his pants pocket. I couldn't believe how incredibly beautiful that ring was, out of all the stones in the world he had to choose a pearl. I missed my pearl necklace that now lay in the bottom of the lake because Gale failed to grab it when he saved my life. Oh well I would rather him leave it and save me from the water as quickly as he could.

"Peeta?"

"Hmm"

"I rather not go into town" I mumbled and approached him, placing my hands on his shoulders I slid his jacket off of him and leaned forward to kiss him deeply. Peeta smiled into the kiss and deepened it over time. I wrapped my arms around him neck and played with some of his blond hair at the base of his neck. It took everything he had to break the kiss and catch his breath.

"I got to go to the bakery" Peeta said.

I grinned and fiddled with his turtle neck, sliding my hands under his shirt, I laid my hands against his strong chest and felt the strong muscles of his chest tightened. I ignored his comments about the bakery and kissed the side of his neck, all the way up to under his ear which made him groan. I kissed just below his ear and took great pleasure in hearing Peeta gasp and groan. I was going to get my own way weather he liked it or not. I was going to seduce him before he had to leave for the bakery.

"Kat, please uh Oh god not my ear" Peeta begged.

"Have a little fun before your shift starts" I say seductively.

"Your trying to kill me women" He said and before I knew it he was carrying me up the stairs, clothes were flying, breaths were ragged and sweat was beading down our bodies. A couple minutes later Peeta was sliding on his shirt while I laid on the bed wrapped in a sheet, my hair was a mess, my body was once again violated and we were safe this time so I didn't have to worry about getting pregnant. My mind was clear and none of what Gale had said to me today lingered in the back of my mind, for all I cared he could go screw himself and leave me alone. I was so mad at him right now that I didn't care if he left and went back to two. I would take care of his mother and siblings. I would do anything for that family. I watched Peeta button up his jeans and slid on his sockets. He was still sitting on the bed when I leaned forward and kissed a certain spot under his ear which caused his head to roll to the side.

"You are really going to be the death of me" Peeta said.

"I can't help it" I muttered against his neck, "You are so good at doing things"

"Kat, I need to go now"

"can't you close it" I begged.

Peeta shook his head, "No, sorry"

I pouted and laid back of the bed again with the sheet against my bare chest. When Peeta was done dressing, he crawled on he bed and hovered over top of me making things really difficult. I knew he was trying to tease me and his teasing wasn't going to work. He straddled my covered body and leaned down to kiss me. The kiss lasted a long while before Peeta pulled away and creased my bruised cheek with his hands.

"We can play some more later" He mumbled against my lips.

"Oh yeah" I giggled as he sucked on my neck.

Peeta rolled off of me and I immediately felt abandon and lost. He told me he loved me and then was out of the door before I had a chance to dress and walk him out. As soon as I showered, dress and made sure he was completely gone I went on a hunt for that ring. I wanted to wear it, show it off. I couldn't believe he was actually going to purpose and that I had caught him with a ring in his pocket. The scary thing was I was going to go crazy not knowing when he was going to ask me to marry him. He could do it today or tomorrow or three months from now. I didn't know. All I knew was I was going to be Mrs. Katniss Mellark.

To Be continued...


	20. Get Together

Chapter 20

Get together

It just felt like another day to me, Today was Christmas Eve and I spent the entire day locked in the kitchen cooking soup, cooking deer meat and getting things prepared for our upcoming get together. Peeta had left early in the morning to meet his best friend Delly Cartwright at the train station. She had left town about a month ago for reasons that were unknown to me and she was just now getting back into town. Peeta was very excited when she answered his phone call and accepted his invitation to a get together. I only wished my best friend would answer my calls and accept my invitation, but he was being a jerk so I just decided to let him suffer and be alone for the holidays. Haymitch and Avara had arrived shortly after Peeta departed for the train station. Avara insisted on helping me in the kitchen even though she was a guess in my house. I still couldn't determine if I liked her yet or not, I was still skeptical of her and had not voiced an opinion on her yet. Haymitch helped by moving tables together and scouting for enough chairs to place the large amount of guest that we invited. Hazelle, Rory, Vick and Posy all showed up around 1:00 and I could now tell just by the way that Hazelle was moving that it was true... she had cancer. She was alot paler than the last time I saw her and she seemed to be in a whole heap of pain if she moved a certain way. I pushed the sadness I was feeling aside and focused on keeping her happy. I helped her to my couch and took her coat and scarf from her while Vick and Rory carried the pumpkin pies they brought into the Kitchen, which that was unnessacary to bring considering Peeta baked everything. Posy sat by her mother and shot me a warm smile.

"How are you doing?" I asked Hazelle.

"I'm fine dear" She replied weakly.

"Can I get you anything? Water, milk tea" I offered.

"Tea would be great" She coughed.

I nodded and stalked off into the kitchen to fetch some warm tea for her. She looked so fragile and so delicate that the slightest touch would probably break her. I brought her the tea and set it in between her shaky hands. This couldn't be happening to a wonderful women like Hazelle, anyone but her. She didn't deserve this horrible disease that plagued her her mind, body and soul, she was such a kind-hearted soul that cancer didn't deserve to take her. I took a seat next to her and placed my hand on her shoulder, she turned her head and merely smiled at me.

"Everything is going to be alright" She assured.

I looked over at Posy, not wanting her to hear this conversation me and Hazelle were about to have. I quickly slid out of my seat and offered Posy a hand. The ten year old raised a brow in confusion and gently took it. I led her away from Hazelle and into the kitchen were I told her to take a seat. I rummaged through the fridge and took out a chocolate chip cookie which really put a smile on her face.

"Hey where is mine?" Vick opened the palm of his hand and waited for me to lay a cooking in his perfectly waiting hand.

"You don't get one just yet,now take a moment to watch after your sister. I got to chat with your mother" I said.

Vick groaned rolled his eyes and lay his head down on the now clothed table. I liked the tablecloth that Peeta had picked out: It was green, red and had holiday ornaments scattered all over it. I returned to the living room and took my place next to Hazelle, making sure Posy was still enjoying the cookie, I placed my hand against her delicate head and patted her comfortingly. I had to control the tears that were burning deep within my body. If I cried that would only drawl attention to myself. I took a deep breath, held the tears back and began conversation with her.

"Gale's not coming?" I asked quietly.

"No, He had to work today" Hazelle said.

I shook my head, he should not be in the deep dark earth on a day like this. Sure it was just another day to me, but to some it was the holidays; a time of joy and a time to be with your friends and family, not a time to be pounding away at the cold dark earth, isolated from the light and from your family. Even Gale didn't deserve that. I wonder if he was doing that on purpose or the foremen or whatever really did call him into work. Either way; he was not where he belonged and that wasn't okay with me.

"How are you doing?" That was a stupid question to ask her, but it all sort of spilled out of my mouth without really much thought. Hazelle sighed and forced a weak smile, her pale hand came up and wiped the tears that I accidently let loose.

"I'm fine" She said.

"Gale told me everything" I paused, took a breath and held back more tears, "How bad is it?"

Hazelle snickered weakly and placed her hand on top of mine, "It's everywhere; There is nothing more they can do. I lived my life and it was wonderful, I just need you to promise me one thing" She let go of my hand and folded hers neatly in her lap. I nodded in agreement. She coughed, cleared her throat and said, "I know my son can be very difficult at times and I know deep down that he will come to accept the fact that you will just be his friend. He is stubborn, not stupid. I need you to be there for him when I die, please don't turn your back on him or give up on him. He will come around I promise. Take care of my family Katniss, you are like a second daughter to me and I love you like one" She did it now, she had me in tears and there was no stopping them. She leaned over and pecked me against the forehead weakly. Thank god there was nobody else in the living room that could see the tears that were streaming down my face. Haymitch was off collecting firewood from our pile outside And I think Vick, Posy and Rory went with him. Avara was still in the kitchen getting things ready and before I had a chance to say something back to Hazelle. The doorbell rang. I looked at Hazelle with such sorrow, She smiled, wipe the tears away from my eyes and nodded towards the door. I took a deep breath, rose from the couch and answered the door. I was completely and utterly shocked at who it was.

"Mom?" I questioned. She had bags in her hands and a nervous expression on her face, her lips tightened and she gulped, behind her I could see Peeta and Delly walking up the steps. Why in the world was my mother even here. She really looked different from the last time I had seen her, Her blonde hair was more colorful and not a worn out color. Some of her wrinkles vanished and she no longer looked worn down. I stepped to the side and allowed her to drag her bags inside. Delly and Peeta entered my house right after her and as soon as Delly saw me she squealed and wrapped her arms around me.

"Katniss!" She squealed.

"Hey Delly!" I squealed back and hugged her tight. I shoot a confused look in Peeta's direction and then nodded towards my mother. He looked away guiltily and began carrying some of my mothers things up our stairs. I scooped up the last of her bag and followed Peeta upstairs. He knew something and I wanted to know what it was. We traveled down the long hallway until we came to the last door on the right, Peeta pushed it open with his hips and set the bags in the spare room.

"What is she doing here?" I asked a bit annoyed.

"I called her a couple days ago and asked her to join us" Peeta replied.

"Why would you do that!"

"She is your mom and besides she told me she was transferring hospitals"

"Mom and I don't get along to well anymore ever since..." My voice trailed off and I placed my fingers against my temples, "You know what never mine, this is a small get together and I want to be around people I love... so its fine" I say.

Peeta grinned, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me really quickly. I wrapped my hands around his neck and laid my head against his strong chest. He kissed the top of my head, my cheek and then my lips again. I giggled in between kisses and then pulled away from him completely to whisper, "Can I have my ring now?"

"Nope"

"Please!" I whined.

"I don't feel like proposing to you"

I pouted, sticking out my lower lip playfully, Peeta chuckled, kissed my lips and then headed back down stairs to greet our guests. I wanted that ring he had dropped from his coat pocket and darn it I was going to get it if it meant having to search all day and night for the darn thing. My house was packed when I walked back down stairs, Avara and my mother was setting the table and Hazelle was helping them. I shook my head at her in disagreement, she should not be handling things like this in her condition, but I let it go for the time being considering my mother was doing all the work. Rory, Vick and Peeta were in the living room socializing. At least they liked Peeta I could tell by the way they were teasing him and the way Rory playfully punched his arm. I only wished Gale gave Peeta this kind of affection like his brothers did, but it was impossible, it was never going to happen. I watched as Delly came out of the kitchen, when she saw me, she smiled and placed her long thin arm around my shoulder.

"What's up sis?" She grinned.

"Nothing much" I replied. I never tore my eyes away from Peeta and Rory who were in the process of rough housing. Delly followed my gaze and let out a sigh. I think Peeta had told her everything there was to tell about our horrible month. About Gale coming back into my life, the constant strain he had on our relationship, his episodes...everything.

"He told me everything" Delly finally said.

"Wouldn't surprise me" I muttered.

"Hmm?"

"He has his best friend to talk to when things get complicated, but why can't I?" I mumbled.

"Because your best friend is in love with you and hurting" Delly said.

"I know, but there is got to be a way for the two of them to get along" I frowned.

"He told me he was trying his best to get along with your friend, but that day in town when the two of them fought: that was when he decided it was useless" Delly revealed.

"Its just so complicated for me now" I say.

Delly looks up at me as if I say something bad or out of the ordinary, "You love them both?"

I nodded, "Yes, but in different ways, Gale can't see it, he won't see it. He keeps trying to convince me that Peeta is no good for me. That somewhere deep down I love him as a lover"

"Do you?" Dell asks seriously.

"No! I love Peeta more than anything and when he proposes to me I am going to be the happiest woman in the world" I say

Delly smiles widely, "He has told me about his plans in proposing to you"

"Tell me" I beg.

"All I'll say is he wants to marry you before going off to search for a cure"

I didn't want to think about that stupid tracker jacker venom that was posioning his mind and slowly killing him. This was a happy day and it was going to stay happy. I quickly changed the subject, "Where did he hide my ring?"

Delly smirks, shakes her head and lets her arm drop from around my shoulders. She pretended to zip her lips with an imaginary zipper and then heads into the living room to stop the horse play before something valuable get broken. I feel another person wrap their arm around me and I come face to face with my long lost mother that I hadn't seen in five years. She looks like she is doing well and I begin to wonder if she had become a doctor yet, I think she was prating medicine in district 13 or some other district I'm not sure which one. She takes me in her arms and into a full fledged hug.

"I missed you Katniss" She whispers in my ear and I don't know what to do, accept her or push her away. My decision comes quickly and I wrap my arms around her, hugging her back. When she looks at me there are tears bottling up in her blue eyes. She leans forward and kisses my head and for the first time in five year I felt like one of the holes in my heart was filled and hopefully the other will heal shortly.

"I miss you too mom" Was all I said to her.

It was nearing 3:00 when everyone that was inside my house decided to sit down and eat. We all laughed, chatted and made fun of Haymitch for having no table manners. Avara slightly scolded him by smacking him in the back of the head when he took a huge mouth full of potatoes and tried to speak. I was sitting next to Peeta and my mother; Peeta and I had our hands intertwined under the table and my foot my playfully siding against his. After the huge dinner was over, Peeta took Rory, Vick and Posy (followed by Haymitch) out for a snowball fight. I was really surprised Gale's siblings were fond of Peeta. Hazelle tried and help us women clean, but my mother forced her to sit by the fire on the couch. Delly had followed Peeta outside and joined the snowball fight, leaving me and my mother some time to bond. Too many people had just walked back into my life, I didn't need my mother adding fuel to the fire.

"So I see your still with him" She pointed out.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugged, "I didn't think the romance would last"

"Well you thought wrong" I snapped a bit.

"Sorry!" She said defensively, there was a brief silence between us ad then she spoke, "Are you that serious about him?"

"Yes. Do you got a problem with him" I ask. My mother just had to be the overprotective parent. Someone had to look out for me and since I have been doing it for five years without a mother, I was perfectly fine in not having a parent around at all. She didn't need to walk back into my life and play the protective mother role.

"No, I am very fond of Peeta. Can't a mother worry about her child" She asked.

"After five long years of being away...No you shouldn't worry about me" I say.

"Look I just couldn't bring myself to come back here, not after all the memories of..." Her voice trails off and I knew she was thinking about Prim.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled softly.

" Doesn't matter" My mom smiled, placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "So when is the baby do?"

My mouth dropped, "What!"

To be continued...


	21. Bonding

Hello hello people, I cannot believe how long this story is, it was supposed to be only 16 chaps. oh well. Hey Purpleboo, I forgot to mention earlier I'm not sure if her middle name is rose or not it is something I just made up, but if any of you know her real middle name please tell me. Enjoy chap 21 and please review I love hearing from you all. Thanks so much for looking past all the grammar mistakes and misspelled words.

Chapter 21

Bonding

I stared at my mother with wide eyes, face beat red and stomach in a ton of knots. I was not pregnant, why would she even ask that? I hoped to god she was just kidding. I studied my body, was I really that fat? Did I really look that pregnant? Maybe I should lay off the cheese buns. I shook my head at my mother in disbelief and turned my attention to the dishes she was doing. Without a word to her I took a cup that was in the strainer, wiped it down with a cloth and drying every inch of it, before putting it in the top shelf. An overprotective mother that was what I had, I think she would roll over and have a heart-attack if I told her I have slept with Peeta on an almost daily bases. If my father was still around and he found out about it, he would go after Peeta with a shotgun, not that he ever owned one or anything. My father would find one and hunt Peeta down like game. I smiled to myself as thoughts of my father crept into my mind. My mother looked over at me, confused at what I was smiling at.

"So you going to answer my question?" She asked.

"No mom I'm not pregnant and I take offense to that question" I answered annoyed.

"Hey! Just making sure" My mother scrubbed more plates and passed them over to me to dry. I didn't know what to say to her after all these years. We did not end on good terms the last time I had seen her. With all the emotions that were going that day, all the tears we shed over Prim. All the words that she spat out. Why did it have to be Prim, I'm not going back there...this and that. I couldn't really blame my mother for wanting to escape the memories of my sister and father that were still here. We argued nonstop the day as we parted ways, I begged her and begged her to return to 12 with me and face the grief together, but she simple would not accept it. So instead of being with the only daughter she had left, she decided to stay and start practicing medicine, which in a way was good for her to do.

"So what are you doing here mom?" I finally plucked up the courage to ask.

"Peeta was darling enough to invite me to your small get together" She replied.

"Are you coming back here for good?"

My mother sighed and nodded her head, "Yes, I am transferring hospitals, seems like district 12 is in some need of nurses" She said.

"So your a nurse now?"

She nodded, "Yes, somewhat"

"Good I'm glad"

We were silent for a couple of minutes, the only sound between us was the soft clicking of dishes that my mother was moving around in the sink. Like Gale, my mother and I had alot of issues that needed to be fixed. I knew she still feels sorrow for the loss of Prim, no mother could ever really get over the death of their child and I don't expect her to. I just don't want her to face the grief alone and I knew she still felt grief that was bottled up inside of her after all these years. Truth was I needed my mother so much, I missed her.

"Did you not invite Gale" She asked.

I sighed, "It is very complicated"

"What's so complicated?"

"He's in love with me mom and I keep telling him time and time again that I love him no more than a friend and a brother. I want him to accept the fact that love Peeta and that it will always be Peeta and not him"

"Gale will come around, he always does" She tells me.

"I'm not sure he will this time" I pouted.

The front door opened and Peeta came stumbling in covered in snow head to toe, He kicked the snow off his shoes using the mat and shook his body like a dog so that the cold snow would fall off his coat. He kicked his boots off his feet and slid his jacket onto the coat rack. I smiled as he entered the living room and asked Hazelle if she was alright and if he could get her anything. I continued smiling at him as he continued to speak to Hazelle so kindly. I was so memorized by him that I forgotten that my mother was standing there handing me dishes. I didn't leave my trance-like state until I heard a cup crash into the sink and my mothers quiet giggles.

"Are you that much in love with him that you have to zone out every time he steps into the room" My mother chuckled quietly.

"Yes, I guess so" I reply never taking my eyes off of him. I watched my mothers head tilt to the side as Peeta bent over to fix the fire that was brewing in the fireplace. Her eyebrows raised and she shot me a smile and whispered, "Hmm, hmmm, hmm I wish I was 22 again"

"Mom!" I scolded.

"What" She chuckled.

"Back off" I teased.

"Oh honey stop ,I'm as old as the hills"

Peeta entered the kitchen, his cheeks were pink from the cold and he keep rubbing his hands together trying to radiate so kind of heat, "Hello girls, may I grab a cup of coffee" He asked politely.

"Going to coast you sugar-baby" My mother flirted.

"Mom!"

Peeta blushed violently and then cracked a small smile in my direction, he ran a hand through his blond hair and smiled at my mother, "How much would you like sweet-thing" He flirted back playfully.

My mouth opened, "Peeta! that is my mother"

"I know and good looking for her age"

"Oh stop it, your the good looking one"

Oh my god I couldn't believe they were flirting with each other. Of course I knew they were flirting playfully just to get under my skin, I shot Peeta a frown, a grin appeared on his face and he winked at me indicating that he was merely being playful. Peeta poured himself a cup of coffee and made his way over to me and my mother. H whistled at my mother and raised his eyebrows. My mother batted her eyes and winked back at him. I frowned and folded my arms across my chest, I leaned against the counter and looked in the other direction. Peeta chuckled and set the coffee cup on the counter before approaching me, He placed his arms on my shoulders but I still refused to look at him. He laughed again, leaned over and kissed me on my lips which were currently formed in a playful pout because of his flirting with my mother.

"Oh stop your pouting" Peeta said. He took my face between his hands and kissed me so hard and so passionately right in front of my mother. I wrapped my arms around his neck and played with some of the blond hair at the base of his neck. I completely forgot all about my mother until she cleared her throat, When we parted I saw the scolding look my mother had on her face. I merely gave her a shitty grin and kissed him again, That should show her what was mine. Peeta kissed me back and moved hand down my leg to grip my thigh. OH my god my mother was standing right there, I pulled away.

"Hey now" She pointed a playful finger at Peeta, "Watch what you are doing to my daughter"

"Oh I've done alot more than this to your daughter trust me" Peeta teased.

My face turned a deep red color and I slapped Peeta softly and scolded him, Oh god I couldn't believe he just said that and to all people... my mother. If he had said that to my father I knew for a fact that he would have been six feet under the ground. My mother glared at him and shook her finger at us both. Oh god I knew what was coming: A lecture about being careful and how to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

"You better not have or you my friend will be six feet under" She teased. She thinks like my father.

I suddenly became aware that Haymitch was standing in the kitchen doorway listening to every word we were saying and laughing his ass off. I turned around, Shot him a nasty glare and then turned back around to face Peeta and my mother. Haymitch moved into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He leaned against the counter and licked his lips. I guess this was all very entertaining to him considering the fact that Peeta had just told my mother we were having sex.

"Not to worry Mrs. Everdeen; the boy couldn't knock anyone up, even if he tried" Haymitch laughed.

Peeta's mouth opened slightly, his brows came together and blush spread across his face, "I could too and Besides Haymitch...At least I can get it up" He grinned.

"Can we not talk about this anymore Please" I begged.

Haymitch ignored me and commented back, "Did she fall asleep on you last night? You looked down and she was fast asleep?" Haymitch laughed.

"No she was actually pretty loud, I didn't hear Avara say anything when we entered your living room unexpectedly" Peeta replied.

My mothers mouth was wide open.

"Boy, You don't know the first thing about pleasing a lady. Take it from a man thats been around the block a couple times"

Lord save me from this conversation. where is a hiding spot when you need one. I glared at my mother, this was all her fault, she started this whole entire thing, actually it was Peeta who started it. He just had to move his hand down my leg in a sexual manner, knowing my mother was standing right there and knowing she was going to say something and now here we were listening to Haymitch and Peeta talk about who pleases their woman better. I had to do something.

"Okay both of you shush, This is not an appropriate conversation to be having. Haymitch I'm sure you please Avara well; And Peeta pleases me really, really well , so there all said and done" oops my mother was still there.

"Katniss rose"

"What!" I say innocently.

"That is not something I want to picture my daughter doing"

Peeta and Haymitch laughed but I rolled my eyes at her and tried the very best I could to tune her out. I didn't want to have this discussion anymore it was all too much and too embarrassing for me to handle. The rest of my day was filled with laughter, teasing, chatting by the warm fire and when it finally did get dark. I walked Hazelle and her children out. I gave her a peck on the forehead and said to take care of herself. Posy hugged me around the waist, Vick nodded in my direction, and Rory playfully punched my arm, which I hit him back a little harder than I meant to. I watched Rory and Vick Help their mother down the icy stairs and towards home. Thoughts clouded my mind and I shook my head in disgust at the thought that Gale's family made an effort to show up at the small get together, but Gale didn't. He must not care about me if he was going to go to such lengths in avoiding me. Hazelle and her kids disappeared from sight, I closed the front door and shivered. I rubbed the my hands against my arms trying to get rid of th chilly feeling that was running through my body. My mother was in the living room talking with Avara and Delly, while Peeta was sitting at the table with Haymitch having his fill on cookies. I came across the room, into the kitchen and slid into a sitting position on Peetas lap.

"What are we talking about over here?" I questioned.

"Nothing you want to hear" Haymitch replied.

Peeta wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder so he could still look at Haymitch when talking. I leaned back a bit and allowed my back to rest against his chest, I was almost laying down in his arms. sleep was becoming more and more of a need for me, it had been a very long and tiring day. With all the cooking and cleaning, laughing,chatting and bonding I did today I wouldn't be surprised if I would sleep until Haymitch's birthday that was coming up real soon. I couldn't wait to tease him on his age. forty-seven years old...My father figure was getting up there. I tuned into their conversation and I immediately wished I haven't.

"I'm not ready to go yet" Peeta said to Haymitch.

"Well after the holidays and after you two get hitched, then we will really start thinking about it" Haymitch said.

"Your talking about the cure?" I ask with a frown.

"It has to be done, I didn't forget about it" Peeta tightened his hold on my waist and placed a kiss against my neck. Sadness filled my body and I slid off his lap and sighed deeply before going into the living room to sit next to Delly and My mother. Why did Peeta have to be so stubborn, I figured he forgot all about that cure and about leaving me, but obviously I was wrong, obviously I wasn't at all important to him. I lied, I just said that because right now I was hurting knowing that he was going to leave me here in 12 while he travels hundreds of miles away to find something that doesn't exist.

"Are you alright dear?" My mother asked.

"Fine" I assured her. Truth was I was in pain because Peeta was going to marry me, then leave me to find a cure to his poison that was slowly eating away his brain. He was fine in my eyes, his last episode was that night when Gale and him fought. He hadn't had one since; at least I don't think he did. I became aware that he was standing in front of me offering me his hand.

"Mind taking a walk with me?" He asked.

I seen him shoot a look in Delly's direction, there was something very off about him. His chest was rising and falling, beads of sweat ran down his face and forehead and it almost looked like he was going to be sick. I didn't answer him, just took his hand and let him pull me up from the couch. He shot another look at Delly; she smiled and winked at him. In that moment I knew he was leading me away from wandering eyes to propose to me. I didn't think he would do it that fast. He slipped on his jacket and I slipped on mine, he took my hand into his and led me into the cold night. I couldn't breath, couldn't think about anything but him. It was coming I knew it was, He was silent the whole way...I soon became aware that he was leading me towards the nonactive fence. Why was he leading me to the woods. My heart pounded into my chest as he wondered through the woods. We passed the lake where I had fallen through the ice and kept going. Peeta stopped walking after another 10 minutes of wandering. I glanced around my surrounds and soon became aware of where we were...this was the spot where my father and I would spend all of our time together. The moon above us was bright and glittered off the icy pond, This was were my father taught me everything there was to know about hunting, this was the one place that made me the most happiest woman alive.

When Peeta let got of my hand, He rubbed the back of his blond head, took a deep breath, grabbed my hand again and dropped to one knee. There was passion and love in his eyes as he cleared his throat and started his long heart-warming speech.

To be continued...


	22. Love the Broken road

Chapter 22

Love the Broken road

I stared into Peetas bright, ocean blue eyes, The moonlight made him look so incredibly beautiful that I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was on one knee, one hand was reaching into his pocket and the other held my left hand. My heart leaped into my chest as he pulled out the small black box that had dropped out of his coat pocket a couple days ago. This was going to be so incredibly perfect for me. I never would of guessed he would purpose to me in the woods. It was dark yes and the only source of light that allowed us to find our way was the full moon which shined its gorgeous light on us. The snow around us sparkled like a thousand diamonds, even though it had to be very cold against Peeta's legs; it was still amazingly beautiful.

"Katniss Rose Everdeen, I don't know how to stand down here and say this. My mind is racing a thousand miles per minute trying to figure out how to do this and what is the right way to purpose to such an amazing wonderful human being like you. You are beautiful, strong, and I love you for all those things and more. You mean more to me than you will ever know Katniss and believe it or not I am glad my name was drawl in the games. If it wasn't for the sick and twisted games I would have never have gotten a chance to meet you properly, be with you, protect you. I would relive the games over and over if that was the only way to be with you. I would go through all that torture and beating if it meant seeing you for one last time. I would give my life and soul for you. I don't think you realize just how amazing you are. I love the fact you put yourself last before everything else. I love you...so much. I don't think you know just how much I'm in love with you. Like I said before I want to turn gray with you, I want to die old and looking into your eyes. I want to watch you bare my children, raise them and I want to be right there beside you" He was making me cry again I couldn't suppress the tears that were swelling in my eyes. He loved me he really, really loved me unconditionally. I knew he did, but I did, but the look in his eyes told me it was more than I now. His words were effecting me so much, love, passion and amazement filled my body.

"I want you Katniss rose Everdeen, I want you by my side always..." He rose from his one knee and took my hand into his. "Aren't you supposed to be on one knee" I sobbed happily.

Peeta chuckled, "I'm doing it my way missy"

I watched him take the pearl ring from the black slivery box and study it in the moonlight. It was the most beautiful little piece of jewelry out there and I loved it and was dying to have it on my tiny little index finger. My left hand was still in his and I was waiting for him to slid the ring on my finger, when he didn't do it. I pouted, but he merely smiled and pecked me on the lips softly. The silence that filled the cold air around us was almost unbearable for me to handle. I couldn't believe we were here standing in the middle of the forest where my father use to teach me everything he knew about hunting. It was almost like Peeta was purposing to me right in front of my fathers spirit. I could feel the gentleness that filled every inch of the forest around us. I smiled and wiped the tears out of my eyes.

"Marry me" He suddenly says after long minutes of silence, "Marry me for real, not for cameras, not because you feel obligated too, marry me because you are absolutely in love with me. Marry me because you want too be by my side for the rest of your life. Marry me become my wife and I promise I will be the best husband to you." He never got down on one knee again, but that was alright with me. Peeta had his way in doing certain things in his own way, purposing to me was one of those things. The proposal had to be the most strangest one in history. Here he was leading him into the one place I loved the most the forest, it was dark outside, but yet strangely beautiful because of the moon that brightened the forest with its light. I'm glad he didn't do it in front of the large group of people we had over our house. I wondered if he was planning to do this all along, the forest, under the moonlight, in the dead of winter which the breeze that was gently blowing through the forest made me shiver.

"Can I have my ring now" I cried happily.

"You got to say something" Peeta grinned.

"Ask me again" I demanded softly.

"Katniss Rose Everdeen, Marry me and become Mrs. Mellark. Take my last name, become my wife. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, Peeta I will marry you" I answer without a second thought. Peeta smiled slipped the ring on my ring finger and kissed me hard. We stood there under the moonlight kissing each other so passionately that it seemed like nothing in the world existed accept for the two of us. I couldn't believe it I was engaged to him, I was going to become Mrs. Katniss Rose Mellark. As we kiss the hunger deep down inside me began to swell and a whole new feeling overtook me. I began imagining my strong body moving slowly and lovingly against mine, his lips as the devour every inch of my skin, his movements, his noises he made when I held him in place and pleasured him.

We kissed for a long while before the freezing cold got the best of us and we headed back to the victors village, my hand was laced with Peetas. This had to be the best Christmas I have ever had #no that I had to man#, Peeta had just made this one of my favorite holidays and from now on I am going to celebrate it every year. Peeta and I ducked under the lifeless fence and made our way back home, but before I had a chance to open my front door; he stopped and stared at the ground.

"I got something else for you too" He says.

Guilt flooded my body as I realized I did not get Peeta anything, "I didn't get you anything and besides purposing to me was enough"

"It was your mothers idea, I just sort of bought it and picked out the design;it was me and her that agreed on it" He said.

"Peeta your really have done enough"

Peeta ignored me, "Your mother wanted me to give this to you. Said it would meant something more If I gave it to you and not her." Peeta dug through his pants pocket and I could barely stand the intensity that lingered in the air. He lifted a small gold chain from his pants pocket and I took the time to study its beautiful features. The chain had a small gold heart connected to it. A locket?. Peeta handed me the small locket and I obediently took it from his hands slowly and clicked it opened. The heart shaped piece split into two and my heart sank to the ground. On the right side of the locket she had placed a picture of my father, He was smiling so brightly, the picture was a little bit blurry probably because of the old camera my mother used. I studied my father and tears started to swell in my eyes again. I let a few escape and Peeta brushed them away automatically. On the left side of the lockets was a picture of Prim, she was dressed in a school uniform, she too was smiling brightly at the camera. I remembered my mother taking this picture. Prim was just getting ready for her first day of school and my mother wanted to take her picture in her new school uniform. Prim was unhappy about it but my mother insisted on having a memory of her in her cute school outfit. Prim had given up in defeat and shook the camera a fake smile.

"This really is wonderful" I say to Peeta and kiss him on the lips.

"Thank your mother too it was her idea, I just picked out the locket" Peeta smiles and leans forward to kiss me again, He let his lips linger on mine for a moment and I feel that need start to bottle u inside me again. When we finally decide to take our lips off each other, Peeta and I pushed opened the door to find the house quiet. The fireplace was still going and was the only source of light that lit up part of the room. Haymitch was on my couch snoring his head off with Avara tucked slightly against his side. Delly was asleep on the floor in front of the fireplace and my mother was sleeping in the sofa chair. Her blonde hair hid the left side of her face.

"Want to take Delly up to one of the spare rooms" I whisper to Peeta.

"Yeah, Get Haymitch and Avara a blanket" He whispered back, he scooped Delly up into his arms and began his journey up the steps. I tiptoed to the closet and pulled out the biggest comforter I could fine, tiptoeing back over to where Haymitch and the ginger lay I covered them up without alerting them to my presence. They looked so peaceful sleeping in each others arms; it immediately reminded me of Peeta and me. Sleeping in his arms made me feel safe, comfortable and loved. I took another blanket out of the closet and covered up my mother who was sleeping peacefully on the sofa chair. I kissed the top of her blonde head whispered my thanks and I love you to her. She looked to peaceful there on the chair so I just decided to leave her there until morning. I meet Peeta upstairs a little bit later, he was in the process of pulling on a pair of sweatpants. It was dark and I could easily make out his dark outline in the room. I closed the door behind me and gently locked it. Peeta must of heard the door locked because he let out a chuckle and I could see the outline of his head shake from side to side. I made my way over to him blindly and placed my hands against his bare shoulders. I pecked his shoulder and neck.

"Behave" Peeta whispered.

"I owe you a Christmas present" I say seductively. I kissed his Adams apple earning me a deep groan from the back of his throat. I kissed my way up his neck, against his cheek, his lips and finally the spot under his ear. I knew that particular spot got his very excited so I took my time in kissing and licking every inch of it.

"I can think of one thing you can give me" He said as he gripped the my waist.

"Whats that" I mumbled against his skin.

"Sing to me" He requested.

"What do you want me to sing" I ask.

"Anything" He replied.

"Please don't laugh" I warned him.

Peeta smiled at me, "I promise"

_ I thought for a moment, cleared my throat and began._

_I set out on a narrow way, many years ago_

_Hoping I would fine true love along the broken road_

_But I got lost a time or two_

_wiped my brow and kept pushing through_

_I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you_

_Every long lost dream led me to where you are_

_others who broken my heart, they were like northern stars_

_pointing me on my way into your loving arms._

_This much I know is true_

_That god blessed the broken road_

_that led me straight to you_

I took a deep breath and wiped my brows nervously Before continuing, I stared at Peeta, He was mesmerize by my voice as always, so I continued.

_I think about the years I spent, just passing through_

_I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you_

_But you just smile and take my hand_

_You've been there you understand_

_It's all part of a grander plan, that is coming true_

_Every long lost dream led me to where you are_

_Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars_

_Pointing me on my way into your loving arms_

_This much I know is true_

_That God blessed the broken road_

_That led me straight to you_

I stared at Peeta when I finished singing, He smiled at me, "I love you"

"I love you too" I replied.

"Peeta" I whispered his name.

"Hmm, I want to get married in the spring, when its warm out. I want to get married in the woods"

"What!" He suppressed a smile.

"I want the beautiful flowers, fresh air and sparkles of water surrounding us, I want to..." He cut me off by placing a hand against my lips.

"I love you, Well talk about it later"

He said and kissed me hard. I kissed him back twice as hard. We both ended up on the bed, clothes were off, limbs were tangled, he lay on top of me; being as gentle as possible. I was biting into his skin trying hard to keep quiet and not alert Delly who was probably in the room next to us. Peeta grunted loudly and all I could think about was his body that was pressed up against mine, his lips and the intense passion that grew between us. He was my everything words could not describe as to how much I loved this man that was currently making love to me. I was going to walk down the isle towards this man, I was going to give him everything I had to offer. Peeta Mellark was my whole life, my everything He was my Fire, he was my flames, he was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. My life was going to change forever, I was going to be a married women for real this time. I smiled happily as Peeta grunted one final time before rolling off of me and placing his arms around me.

"The woods?" He questioned me.

"Yeah, we can set up chairs, I can invite my old prep team and some designers" I offered.

Peeta chuckled and shook his head, "Your a stranger one Katniss Everdeen" Peetas smile got bigger, "Or should I say Katniss Mellark"

I laughed, "Not yet"

We settled down on the bed and before I knew it sleep overtook the both of us. tomorrow would come and I would have to tell Gale that I was engaged and that I wanted him to attend the wedding and that if he didn't come then our friendship was done.

To be continued...


	23. Gone To The World

Chapter 23

Gone to the world.

Christmas and New years came and went just like it did every other year and things started to become normal again. We had so much food in our fridge that we didn't know what to do with it all. It was nice to have Delly back in town and believe it or not I was somewhat glad to have my mother back in my life after all these years. We offered her a place to stay and she accepted it and stayed in one of our spare bedrooms, which was a big mistake on our part considering she began moving things around in the house and to top it all off she walked in on me and Peeta making love and that resulted in a large lecture about safety, now I knew the embarrassment Haymitch felt when we walked in on him and Avara. I had to face the fact that my love life was shot to hell with my mother on the prowl. That wasn't okay with Peeta and I, every time we had an urge to devour each other we would slip from her sight and sneak over to his house. There we could be as loud as we wanted and didn't have a worry in the world that someone might accidently walk in on us. It has been at least a week or so since Peeta had purposed to me in my favorite place in the world. I hadn't taken my ring off since Peeta slid it onto my finger. I loved the sparkling pearl that settled in the center of the ring. I couldn't wait until spring when the flowers bloomed and the weather turned warm and wonderful.

Peeta and I decided to get married on May 12th. We decided not to invite too many people just our closets friends and neighbors; he was kind of against getting married in the woods just because of the fact it might rain that day and he didn't want to marry me in the pouring rain. He also didn't like the fact of having to shove our guests under the fence that still surrounded 12. Rumor had it that they were going to tear it down and allow people of 12 to roam the forest freely, which in a way was good, but if that happened then the woods would no longer by my place of solitude. I still haven't made contact with Gale in awhile and I was very upset at the fact that he refused to come to my get together, along with his mother and siblings. I was giving him one last chance in fixing our friendship. He was going to have to accept the fact I was going to get married and that I couldn't help who I had fallen in love with. After today was over I was either going to have my best friend back or He was going to vanish, kick me out of his life for good. I was hoping that he would open his eyes and realize how much I needed my friend. I have been saying that to him over and over again, its just so hard to convince him. The chances of him actually attending my wedding were very slim to none, but I was going to try my hardest to convince him that I needed him there and that his attendance meant the world to me. Watching me get married to another man would probably hurt him and that was not what I wanted to do to him. He was my family, they all were family, Hazelle, Rory, Vick and Posy were all my family...I just felt the need for them to be there.

The day was so slow and boring, Peeta was working in the bakery that had been closed for a couple days because of the holidays. I walked through town in my hunting boots and my large winter jacket. My destination was Gale's house, I just had to get my anger all out in the open . I didn't know what I was going to say to him yet, but I knew for a fact that I was going to tell him about my engagement to Peeta and how much it would mean to me if he were to attend my wedding that was going to take place in May. Maybe yelling at him wasn't the best thing to do, but I was just so disgusted with him for not coming to my get together along with his family. He could of at least make an effort to do so. I made it to his small house in seam and knocked gently against the door, I waited for a couple seconds before Rory opened the door. His dark hair was wet and his gray eyes were full of tears which he wiped away once he saw me.

"Hey Rory" I greeted him.

"Hi, Katniss" He greeted back, keeping his voice as steady as possible.

"Is Gale home?" I ask him politely.

Rory shook his head, "No he is working a double today. I'll tell him to stopped by" Rory was about to close the door in my face, but I stopped him by placing my hand against the door and forcing myself inside. He didn't try to stop me as I entered his house.

"She's bad isn't she" I ask sadly.

Rory bit his bottom lip and nodded, "Very badly, I had to skip school today just so I could stay home with her. The others are too young and can't afford to miss school, Gale can't afford to miss work either. We don't know what to do Katniss, Mom has always been the one to keep this family going" Rory suddenly broke down in tears, I pulled the 17 year old into a comforting hug and creased his wet black hair. I was going to do everything in my power to help this family out. Hazelle was upstairs in her bedroom, she had lost the ability to walk, it was just to painful for her to walk around. I phoned my mother, told her the situation and she said she would be right over to examine Hazelle. Maybe there was something my mother could do that the district 12 doctor couldn't. We couldn't let her die like this, she couldn't be on her death bed, her children needed her, the world needed kind people like her.

"Has she eaten anything?" I asked Rory.

"Not since yesterday, she can barely keep anything down" Rory answers me.

"I'm going to help you take care of her okay" I hug Rory again, "Your not alone in this understand?"

Rory was silent for a second, "I know I'm not alone. I...called the doctor because she is in so much pain that she is begging me for a pain reliever or something" Rory said.

"I'll called my mother over to see if she can help, in the meantime go downstairs and make yourself something to eat" I order him kindly.

He nods his head in agreement and leaves me to look after Hazelle until my mother and the doc arrives. Hazelle is so pale and so fragile looking I am almost afraid to touch her hand. I sit down on the bed and softly kiss the top of her head. Hazelle's eyes are half-open, half-close and I really don't think she realizes I am here. She wasn't this bad a couple days ago, the cancer must be really taking its toll on her and quickly too. I fight back tears, the sight of this women laying there helpless, sick and in pain gets to me. I kiss her again and leave to room to join Rory downstairs and wait for my mother. When my mother and the doctor does arrive Rory and I lead them up the steps and into Hazelle's bedroom. Its dark and gloomy in there, the light hurts her eyes, So my mother turns on a lamp sitting on the dresser. She shoos me away and I obediently walk down the stairs to join Rory on the couch in the living room. He sits with his hands folded in his lap and tears streaming down his olive face. I place my hand on his shoulder and comfort him.

"Your mother is the strongest person I know" I tell him soothingly.

"I know she is. When dad died mom had to stay strong to keep this family together. She kept telling us over and over that he would not want us to be upset or sad. She was the sad one, but she never let us see it. Katniss, I can't do this again, I can't loose another parent. I won't have anyone" Rory whimpered.

"You have Gale, He would never let anything happened to you or your brother and sister. Vick and Posy look up to you. Your their big brother and they depend on you and you got me and my mother we love you. Your like my little brother, You and Vick and Posy is my like my little sister. You guys are my family."

"What about Gale?" Rory asked.

How was I supposed to tell this young teenager all the complicated situations that me and Gale had. Rory had to of known Gales feelings for me. Gale was my family too, that I knew for a fact, but he seemed to forget that. All Gale saw me as now was his lover not his best friend and it was all thanks to me. I led him on during the rebellion. Our relationship turned romantic and uncontrollable and then just like that he vanished out of my life, what do you know 5 years later hes knocking on my front door demanding me to confess my feelings for him. Five years is a long time to wait for someone, I will admit there were times I felt confused about my feelings for him, but now that I got my feelings all sorted out, I could focus on my friendship with him and convince him that we were no more than brother and sister.

"Gale and I have been having...issues" I finally tell Rory.

"I know, He tells me a lot" Rory reveals.

"Like what?"

"He hates Peeta that is for sure" Rory said.

"I could of told you that" I snorted.

"He loves you though and would do anything for you"

"Then why won't he accept the fact that he is no more than a brother to me?" I questioned him. If there was one way to get information on Gales condition then it was through one of his older siblings. Rory was the second oldest in the family and I was pretty sure Gale would confide in his younger teenage brother about certain things. Rory would tell me everything I wanted to know if I asked the right questions. I wanted to know everything Gale had told Rory about Me and his relationship.

"Have you ever had your heart broken?" Rory asks me.

"Big time" I nodded.

"It hurts doesn't it?"

"Yes it does"

"Gale is hurting right now, give him time. Let the pain ease" Rory said.

That was similar to what Hazelle had said to me a couple days ago, she told me not to turn my back on Gale, to give him time. Hurting or not He was being a jerk towards me and taking this issue to an extremely high level. I wasn't going to turn my back on him no matter what, it was him that was going to turn his back on me if I did not leave Peeta for him. Rory and I bolted from our spot on the couch as we heard my mothers slow footsteps coming down the stairs. My mother came into view with tears in her blue eyes, she looked at Rory and then me and I knew deep down something must have happened when she was examining Hazelle.

"She can't be left alone in her condition..." My mother took a deep breath and forced the next words, "Doctor Hamila doesn't think she is going to last the night" She merely whispered the words and as soon as she did the 17 year old broke down and cried his eyes out. I wasn't going to leave them, I was going to be there for this family throughout the night that way if she did pass I could comfort my brothers and sister.

Gale, Vick and Posy came home a couple hours later, once Gale caught sight of Me, My mother and Doctor Hamila; he dropped the workbag he was carrying on the ground, kicked off his work boots and rushed up stairs without a second glance in my direction. Dr. Hamila had not left Hazelle's side in hours, every once in awhile he would appear and ask for a glass of water. Posy walked over to me and climb into my lap. She was big for a ten year old and squished me a bit, but I didn't deny her when she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.

"Is mommy sleeping yet?" Posy whimpered sadly.

"No honey not yet" I say fighting back tears.

"I want her to" Posy said breaking down into tears, "Mommy is in so much pain, I don't want mommy to be in pain. I want her to sleep and feel better"

"I know sweetie I know"

"Even if I wont see her anymore" Posy cries into my neck and I can no longer hold back any tears, I tightened my hold on the little girl and cry along with her.

I held Posy for a long while until she decided to get up and stalk into the kitchen for a glass of warm milk. Gale returned into the living room and took a seat next to me. He smelled like dirt and coal. I placed my hand on hi shoulder, expecting him to yank it off, he didn't. I pulled him into a comforting hug hoping this time he would not turn around and kiss me. He didn't. He lowered his head and I could feel his chest rise and fall.

"Gale, Are you alright?"

"Catnip, I don't remember why I was so angry with you, but right now I need a friend" He sobbed.

"I'm here Gale alright I'm here" I say comforting.

"She won't last the night I know she wont" Gale sobs.

"Shes around people who love her" I say and run my hand through his black hair, I had one hand running through his hair comfortingly and the other pressed up against his cheek and that was when I became aware how dangerous close my ring was to his eyes. If he were to open them then he would see the ring that settled on my left hand on my ring finger and the last thing I wanted to do was add to his pain.

"Don't leave Catnip" He begged.

I know I shouldn't be showing him any type of kindness. He deserved every sort of pain that he had given me. But this was his mom and I would never wish this type of pain on him or anyone else. All I could do was hold him tightly and let a fully grow 23 year old sob into my chest while I held my friend and comfort him. The sound of footsteps caused me to rise from the couch and as did Gale. Doctor Hamila came down the steps slowly, with his head down and his doctor bag in one hand. He entered the living room and approached Gale. The other children were in the kitchen with my mother, but they soon appeared into the living room as they caught sight of the doctor. Hamila placed a hand on Gales shoulder.

"She is gone son. Sooner than I thought. I really am sorry"

Gale nodded several times before bursting into tears, the sorrow soon turned into rage, Gale startled us by sending a lamp across the room and bolt out the door into the cold night. I had better go after him because the way he was feeling he could hurt himself or someone else.

To be continued...


	24. Talks and Requests

Chapter 24

Talks And Requests

They took Hazelle's body out of the upstairs bedroom and hauled her away to the district 12 morgue. I stayed with Rory, Vick and Posy in the kitchen as far away from the body as possible. I was sitting with them at the table watching the pain making it ways in all of their eyes. They were like orphans now, they had no mother, no father; all they had were each other and they needed each other more than anything else in the world. I really wanted to go after Gale and comfort him although he didn't really deserve my comfort, not to sound mean or nothing. My mother said to let him be, that he needed time to process this tragedy. I didn't know what was going to happen to my other siblings, what they were going to do, how they were going to keep the household going. I knew one thing, I was going to help with the food, since hunting was legal now and I still had buckets of money to blow. There was no better way than to blow it on family. Rory, Vick, Posy and Gale were not going to struggle through this any longer. My mother took the kids back to our house, just because the kids did not want to be left alone all by themselves. I told my mother I was going to wait here until Gale came back, that he should not be left alone in this house either. She argued with me a bit then decided to let me have my own way. Once they were out of the house I started a fire in their fireplace and sat on the couch, bringing my knees up to my chest and stared into the flames of the fire. Sometime in the middle of the night I dozed off only to be awoken by the sound of the front door creaking open. I sat up on the couch and my eyes met Gales, he looked like hell. His hair was pointing in every direction, his eyes were puffy and red from all the crying and as soon as he caught sight of me. He walked all the way in and approached me, I rose from the couch and took him into my arms.

"Are you alright Gale?" I ask him. It was a stupid question to be asking at a time like this.

He shook his head, "Not really"

"It's okay, We are here for you" I assured him.

"Where are the others?" He asked me.

"My mother took them to my house. They didn't want to be left alone in this house" I say to him.

"I understand" He backed away from me and took a seat on the couch in front of the warm fireplace. I could tell he was extremely cold just by the way his body shook with shivers, by the way his cheeks were pink and his lips quivered.

"We are all here for you" I tell him.

He nods, "I know, Catnip, I am done being a jealous jerk, I need you weather it is in a friend kind of way or weather its a lover. I need you. I can't afford to kick you out of my life" I wasn't sure if I could trust his words this time or not. He had said them before and it all turned out to be a lie. Should I give him a second chance and accept the fact that he supposedly put his romantic feelings for me aside. I wasn't convinced that he would do something like that after everything he said and done, there was no way he was going to give up on me that easily. I wanted him to forget the romantic feelings that dwelled in him, but that was not going to happen so easily. It was going take time...A lot of time. We continued to hug for a good long while until I noticed the smell of coal and dirt that lingered on his skin and clothes. I pulled away from our hug, placed both my hands against his covered chest and brushed some dirt off.

"Your a mess Gale" I say as I brushed more dirt off of him, "Go shower, Its unhealthy for you to be going around like this"

"Will you be here when I get back?" He asks with sorrowful eyes.

I smile and nod, He lifts the corner of his lips a bit ad turns to stalk up the stairs. I walk him walk all the way up the stairs and out of sight. I walked with my hand against my hips, head down, stomach in knots, and into the kitchen to fetch the phone that was sitting on the kitchen counter. I needed to call Peeta and let him know I was going to be a couple minutes, that we might be having an extra guest; if I can convince Gale to spend the night with us like Rory and the other children were. I didn't want him in this house alone. I scooped the phone off the counter and dialed my number. Hazelle's cordless phone was as old as the hills and as soon as someone answered the static made it difficult to hear. I could tell it was my mother that had answered the phone.

"Mom? Can you hear me?"

_"H-H...ell..oo"_

She was breaking up, I moved around the kitchen until her voice was clear and I could hear every word that she was saying.

"Mom?"

_"That is better I can hear you. Can you hear me?"_ Mom asked.

"Yes, Huh mom is Peeta there?" I was hoping she would hand him the phone, I needed to hear his deep velvet voice. I missed him like crazy and couldn't wait to be back in the comfort of his wonderful arms. It has only been a couple of hours and already I miss the pressure of his body, his soft slow kisses, the way his hips would buckle against mine. He was really going to be the death of me, he was so intoxicating that I just couldn't get enough of him not matter how much I pushed the urges aside.

_"Your sex-toy is in the shower"_ My mother said, I couldn't believe she just called him that. She walked in on us multiple times making love and she was never going to let me live that down, never going to get over the fact that Peetas bare rear-end stared her in the face. She did not even cover her eyes or look away, she looked directly at me and shot me this horrific glare. Then she got to talking about how we should not do sexual things when she was present in the house which irritated the hell out of me considering it was my house to begin with. After all that Peeta nd I decided to devour each other in the safety of his home.

"Mom!" I screeched in the phone, probably causing her to hold the phone away from her ear for a split second.

"_Just kidding dear_" She said. It was good that she was staying positive and having a sense of humor in a gloomy time like this. My mother was always the strong one of the family and she knew how to cheer people up when they were in a state of depression. I didn't know what to think at my mothers sudden positive attitude and joking comments. It was better than being down in the dirt crying your eyes out.

"I might be a little late coming home and I didn't want him to worry" I said.

"_Are you bringing a guest?_" She asked.

"If I can convince him. How are the kids?"

"_Surviving, Peeta gave them all extra spare bedrooms to sleep in. Posy fell asleep in a instant and so did Vick. Rory won't sleep"_

"Mom we need to help them thorough this" I stated.

_"We will sweetie, we will. You need to take care of him. Gale needs you now more than ever."_

"I know mom and I'm trying everything I can to help"

_"Just do what you can okay. I got to go see you soon dear."_

_"Love you too honey"_

I hung up the phone after a couple more minutes of talking to my mother. Gale entered the kitchen with nothing but a pair of sweatpants on and a towel over his shoulders, his black hair was soaking wet and I could no longer smell the coal and dirt that once lingered on his skin. My nostrils inhaled the heavenly fresh scent of soap and fresh water.

"I needed that" Gale said softly.

"Feel better?" I questioned.

"A little bit" He nodded.

The was a soft pause between us and then I cleared my throat and gave him my offer, "I think you should take one of the spare rooms in my house tonight"

"Why is that?"

"Because you don't need to be alone in this house tonight." I say.

"I don't want any trouble tonight" Gale mumbled and I knew he was referring to Peeta. The only way Peeta would even dream of fighting with him again is if Gale started it like he did in the square a couple weeks back. I would make sure they got along and besides the way Gale was feeling right now I don't think he had the energy or the time to dream up a fight let, alone pick one and Peeta would never start one.

"Peeta won't say anything to you I promise he wont"

"I don't want to intrude" Gale says with a sigh.

"Your not Gale" I flipped back my hair with my left hand and his face suddenly became grim and full of despair. I gave him an awkward look, not fully understand what it was that caught his interest. I looked over my shoulder, around the whole kitchen, trying to make sense and see what he was seeing.

"What Gale?" I questioned with confusion.

"Are you engaged to him?" Shit he must of caught sight of my delicate pearl ring that nestled on my ring finger.

"Yes Gale I am and its real this time" Last time I was engaged to Peeta it was because we were trying to prove to President snow that the berries in the arena were an act of love not an act of rebellion...well look how that turned out. We didn't convince him, war started and everything became a huge mess, but in the end we got what we so desperately wanted. The arenas were destroyed, the districts were treated like human beings and President Snow and Coin got what they deserved. Now Peeta and I were doing this because we were in love with each other for real, and I could not imagine my life without him.

He was silent and the intensity in the room grew, it grew so much that you could take a butcher knife and slice it through the air, that was how thick it was.

"Are you really that happy with him?" He questioned and ran the extra droplets of water out of his wet hair.

"Yes so much" I replied.

"When are you guys getting married?"

"Some time in May" I say.

He was having a hard time not to burst, this just added to his pain. First his mother left the world not only a few hours ago and now he finds out that I, the girl he is in love with, is engaged to someone he really can't stand. I didn't want him to find out today, I didn't want his pain to deepen. He just lost his mother for god sakes and now I had to go and show him my engagement ring without even knowing it.

"So I really lost you then?" Gale asked in a mutter.

"You haven't lost me entirely" I said, "I'm still your friend and nothing can change that."

"After everything that has happen between us; the lies, the screaming, the crying, You would still forgive me?"

"Yes" I say without having to think about it.

"Do I mean that much to you?"

"Yes and I want you to do something for me" I hope he didn't slap me in the face for what I was about to ask him, But I want him to do it nobody else. I just felt the need for him to be the one.

"Depends on what it is" He said.

I took a deep breath this was it the moment of truth, "I want you to give me away"

He looks at me like I just pointed a gun in his face and threatened to fire it. I knew this was a bad idea, I was crazy in thinking that his feelings for me would vanish over one conversation. Gale was silent for along moment before staring into my gray seam eyes. I wish I could take that request back, what was I thinking in asking him to do such a ridiculous thing like this. I knew my father was supposed to give me away to Peeta, but I had no father and the closest thing I did have to a father was Haymitch. Gale just stood there not saying one word to me, his face was blank, his jaw tightened and he had one hand covering his eyes. I was a horrible human being in asking him to do something like this.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't of..." He moved forward and placed his hand against my mouth in order for me to stop talking.

"Why do you want me to do it?" He asks in a deep, serious tone of voice

"I don't know I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked this. I don't want to cause you anymore pain"

He gave a frustrated sigh, "Answer me Katniss please"

"Because I have known you my all life, You know me from the inside out and I you. I grew up with you and I...just feel like it is...I just...I want someone I trust with my life to walk me down the aisle"

Gale sighed deeply, "Katniss I can't"

"I understand I'm sorry"

"It's just too hard at the moment" He says, "I promise not to be a jealous jerk, a horrible friend towards you anymore, but you got to understand that I can't stand the fact that you are with another man. I need time to think, clear my head and move on. Katniss, I don't even know if I can bring myself to watch you marry him"

"I'm sorry" I repeated for the thousandth time today.

Gale moved me into a hug against his bare chest and inhaled my scent. This was a start and hopefully this time he wasn't feeding me a bunch of crap. That he was completely and utterly, seriously sorry for everything he had said, everything he had done and everything he had put me through. Nothing else was said, I pulled out of the hug and asked him if he wanted to spend the night at my house with his brothers and sister. Shockingly he said yes, gathered some clothes and we were out the door, leaving the memory and the pain of earlier events behind us. Hazelle said he would come around that he just needed time, this was a start and something in the pit of my stomach told me that he was not feeding me more lies, that he was seriously considering trying to repair everything that was broken. I hope that was the case I really do because I don't think my heart could taking another breaking from him.

To be continued...


	25. Signs and Truce

Sorry the updates are a little slower than usual I actually sprained my wrist pretty good so that makes typing a little bit difficult. I'll keep them coming though :). Make sure to review I love hearing from you weather its good or bad and please remember this is fanfiction so you don't really have to be exact. You guys make my day with all your reviews, adding the story to your favorites and alerts you really are a fine group of ppl oh yeah thanks for looking past the mistakes. :) enough said please enjoy.

Chapter 24

Signs and Truce

Gale and I entered my house a couple minutes later to find my mother sitting there by the warm fire with a cup of tea in her hand, as soon as she saw Gale, she grinned and rose from her sitting position, setting the cup of tea on the coffee table in front of her. Gale and I kicked off our boots just in enough time for my mother to grab Gale into a comforting hug, she pulled away from the hug and led him into my kitchen to fetch him some tea or coffee, whatever he wanted to indulge in. I pulled my jacket off and watched my mother and Gale disappear into the kitchen, sounds of cups rattling and clicking together was the only sound that filled my head. A sudden wave of dizziness pounded through my body randomly and I placed a hand against my temples and rubbed it in a circular motion. The dizziness turned to nausea and suddenly I felt as my whole world was spinning. My mother and Gale entered the room, she caught sight of my severe discomfort and placed her free hand on my shoulder.

"Are you alright Katniss?" She asked.

"Oh yeah I am fine" I assured her.

My mother placed her hand against my forehead and felt my temperature. What was I a little kid? I watched Gale take a seat on my couch while my mother kept checking my temperature, placing her hands all over my face, cheeks, forehead, the back of my neck, it was all really tiring. I pulled away from my mother quickly before she could do anymore feeling around on my face. I nearly died when I heard soft footsteps coming down the stairs, those footsteps could only belong to Peeta. Here we go; I prayed to god that everything would go smoothly between theses two. I took a deep breath and headed into the kitchen to find something that would settle my ragging stomach. I have no idea what I ate earlier this morning, but it really made me want to vomit all over the place. I pushed the sick feeling aside and watched as Peeta entered the room wearing his pajama bottoms and white tank-top. I blushed as I caught sight of his large muscles that were just ripping through that tank-top. By looking at him it looked like he had no muscles at all, that he was a scrawny little thing, but when he did exposed his arms on rare moments like this; weather if it was wearing a tank-top like this or no shirt at all, his muscles were huge and it was because of the hundred pound bags of flower he carried over his shoulder every day.

"Hows Posy doing?" My mother questioned him as soon as he entered the room.

"She is fine now, the crying stopped as I read her a bedtime story" Peeta replied.

"Good, poor little girl" Mom says sadly.

"She'll be fine, she is a tough little cookie" Peeta said.

My eyes wander over to Gale who had not said one word or even made eye contact with Peeta since he entered the room. I could sense his uncomforted, weather if it was being in the same room as Peeta or just because of everything that had happened in the last 24 hours, Peeta made eye contact for a split second before approaching me. I was sitting on the couch next to Gale. There was a deep intense silence in the room. My mother looked between Gale and Peeta, letting a small smile crack across her face. She found it very amusing that these two guys were fighting over me. Well I guess they weren't fighting over me anymore considering I set Gale in his place. Another wave of nausea hit me and this time I felt little chunks of vomit make its way into my throat. I bolted for the downstairs bathroom, there was no way I was going to throw up in front of Peeta and Gale. I could barely hear Peetas voice as I ran into the restroom and empty the contents of my stomach. I puked for a couple of second before I felt my hair being held back and my back being rubbed. When I was done I rose only to be greeted by Peetas warm arms that were encircling me.

"Are you alright?" Peeta questioned me.

"I'm fine, just a bug" I say to him.

"Want to lay down and go to sleep" He walked me over to the sink and fetch a brush out of the bathroom cabinet. I placed the blue colored toothpaste on my pink brush and scrubbed the lingering taste of vomit from my mouth completely. I hated throwing up, having my breath smell like vomit, I didn't know how Haymitch could stand getting sick, throwing up from all the booze and then doing it all over again. I'm just glad that he was getting himself cleaned up, I had Avara to thank for that too. After scrubbing the toxic scent from my mouth I turned to Peeta who placed a kiss against my forehead.

"I think you should get ready for bed" He leaned forward to kiss me, but I immediately took a step back before his lips could make contact with mine.

"I just threw up" I say.

"So"

"I'm not going to let you kiss me"

"Why not?"

"Because its gross,I don't want you to taste vomit on my lips" I lightly scolded.

"You brushed your teeth" He chuckled.

"Yeah, but its still gross" I commented.

Peeta rolled his eyes and chuckled, without expecting it he laid his lips on mine and kissed me. I tried to pull away but he held my head in place and deepened the kiss. After a couple minutes of kissing in the middle of our bathroom, door closed Peeta had backed me against one of the vanilla colored walls ,hunger to buckle up against him, to have him touch me began to swell deep inside of me. Then I remembered my mother just outside, in the living. If she caught us again then I was going to feel beyond embarrassed. Then we had Gale to think about, oh Gale I didn't want him to walk in on us and be scarred for the rest of his life. I pulled away from Peeta and rested my head against his chest.

"I wanna sleep" I mutter softly.

"Alright, I'll meet you upstairs" Peeta kissed me quickly on the lips, the kiss lingered a bit but quickly ended before things started to heat up again.

"I love you" I whispered.

Peeta smiled, "Where did that come from?"

"I don't know" I kiss him again, "I just...*kiss*...Truly...*kiss*...deeply...*kiss*...love you"

Peeta connected our lips again and this time fingered the front buttons of my jeans, he placed his lips against my ears and said, "You have no idea how badly I want to devour you right here on the bathroom floor." He unbuttoned the first button of my pants and then did something he had never done to me before. He slid his hand into a certain place which caused me to gasp out loud. Peeta connected our lips while his hand remained in my jeans. I gasped and grunted, pulling away, I buried my face into his shoulder and bit down on his bare flesh, earning myself a deep moan from him.

"Stop it, we got guests my mother...Gale and...ugh god" His hand was on certain places now doing certain things and I was trying my very best to control the volume in my voice. It wasn't until a loud knock on the bathroom door echoed our ears, Peeta pulled his hand away from me and allowed me to button up my jeans. I took a seat on the toilet and Peeta distanced himself from me as my mother entered the room with a suspicious glare on her face.

"How are you feeling honey?" She asked raising an eyebrow. Her eyes wandered from me to Peeta, glancing back and fourth between the two of us.

"Just something I ate" I reply, my breath was still deep and the swelling between my legs was growing with each passing moment.

"I'm going to show Gale to one of the spare bedroom" Mom says.

"Alright" I breath out.

She raised an eyebrow, "What are you doing in here?"

"She is not feeling so good, I told her to stay put until the sickness has past. I am going to keep an eye on her make sure she is feeling better before going upstairs" Peeta partly lied, the suspicious glares vanished off my mothers face and she nodded her head in belief. Wow she bought it, Peeta was an extremely good liar. He was so believable sometimes and so calm, straight face when lying to someone. I didn't want to think about him lying because every time I did it all leads me back to when he lied about his hijacking, how he looked me in the eyes and told me he was alright. I guess it was in my best interest so I couldn't really be angry with him about it, but that hijacking issue was far from over. I was determined to help him at all costs. Two could lie.

"I'll leave the lights on for you" Mom said.

"Thank you" I wish she would leave already so I could devour Peeta on the bathroom floor.

"You take care of her" She says pointing a finger at Peeta.

"Always" He says so seriously that it sent shivers down my spine. My mother shot us a scolding look before heading out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. One it clicked into place I turn to Peeta and was just about to pull him into a breath taking kiss, but another wave of dizziness hit me and I stumbled back a bit.

"You need to lay down" Peeta ordered. I was just about to object and tell him I was fine, but he scooped me up into his arms and carried me from the bathroom to our bedroom. I hope whatever was making me feel like this would pass, there was nothing worse in this world than getting sick to your stomach. Peeta laid me gently on the bed and wrapped me into a small blanket, he took the time in throwing on a sweatshirt over his tank-top just because of the cold that was making its way through our house. A sudden knock on our door caused him to rise from the bed, the dizziness was back and Peeta made me lay back down while he answered the door. When he opened it and revealed my black-haired friend that was behind it, time nearly stopped and I suddenly became uncomfortable having theses two face to face with each other.

"Yes? What is it?" Peeta asked as kindly as he could.

"I uh..." Gale cleared his throat and looked over Peetas shoulder at me, "Is she alright?"

Peeta nodded, "Just a little bug she'll be fine"

There was a long agonizing pause, but then Gale cleared his throat again and said, "Can I have a word with you in private"

No, crap these two were not allowed to be alone with each other just in case fists started to fly. I kept myself positioned on the bed, it took everything I had in me to restrain myself. I wanted to hop up from the bed and slam the door in Gales face, I didn't want them talking with each other just in case words flew from their mouths that the other didn't like. Peeta made eye contact with me for a second and smiled. That smile was a symbol stating that he would not give into a fight if that was what Gale wanted. Honestly I don't think that was his intentions at all. Peeta exited the room, shutting the door behind him. I immediately bolted from the bed and quickly tiptoed across the room. I placed my ear against the door hoping to catch some of the words that filled their conversations, but all I heard was footsteps and the creaking of stairs. Shoot this was not good, not one little bit. I quietly opened the bedroom door and tiptoed my way down the hallways, I stood at the top of the stairs and below I could hear cups rattling together. Peeta was probably making them coffee or something and then the conversation began.

"I don't want to fight with you man" Peeta said calmly.

"I'm not here to fight" He said.

"What do you want?" Peeta asked.

"Just to chat"

"About what?"

"Her"

I hear Peeta groan and I am pretty sure he rolled his eyes and turned his back to Gale, "What about her?"

"She told me everything about the wedding in May"

"And?"

"She wants ME to give her away to you"

"You won't do that" Peeta states.

"Your right, I won't. I just wanted to know if you really was planning on marrying her?"

Peeta snorted, "I didn't give her that ring for nothing"

"I can't say that I will ever bring myself to like you or the idea of having you in her life, but I just want to call a truce with you Mellark" Gale paused for a long while, "I know it hurts her to see us hate each other and I don't want to see her hurt. I have hurt her way to much with my jealousy and I can't do that anymore...I really can't"

"Where you getting at?"

"You stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours"

He was really trying hard not to be a jerk, here he was apologizing to the one person that he hated the most. Maybe Hazelle's death made him realize life is too short and instead of living your life hating the world and everyone in it, embracing it seems like a much better path to go down. I leaned on the railing trying my hardest to catch sight of either one of them, no such luck, I can only hear the voices.

"You mean it?" Peeta asked.

"Yes"

"If your feeding me a whole bunch of crap like you did her not so long ago then so help me god I will show you no mercy. I'm not like her I won't go cry myself to sleep over someone that I care about, not that I care about you anyway, but you know what I mean"

"You have my word" Gale said.

"Fine then we agree to stay out of each others way"

"I'm doing it for her believe me I would like nothing more than to pound your face in the ground"

"Feelings mutual"

"I got one more thing to say before heading to bed"

"What's that?" Peeta asked.

"If you marry her and end up hurting her in any way. Make her cry, hurt her with one of your freaky episode things, anything at all..." There was a pause and I knew Gale was staring Peeta straight in the eyes, "I will kill you and its not a threat either, I will jam a knife right through your heart Peeta" Gale threatened.

Wow Gale called him by his first name, I was shocked.

"Fine then, but I have a request too"

What?"

"Stop being such a horrible friend to her, she needs you just as much as she needs me"

"Fine" Gale mumbled.

I don't know what was said after that because another wave of sickness hit me and before I knew it I was running for the toilet for the thousands time today. I really hope I wasn't coming down with the flu or any other sickness. What else could it be besides...No I wasn't...I couldn't be pregnant. No, No, No, No, I was not ready for that. No it was just a bug, in a couple days time it was going to pass.

To be continued...


	26. Fear Comes True

Sorry it took so long to update, remember sprained hand= slow typing lol and wow this is my longest chapter yet hehe, please enjoy and leave me your reviews :)

Chapter 26

Fears come true

The next couple of days were somewhat horrible for me, but I pushed the sickling feeling from my body and focused on the situations that were currently going on in my life. Gale had left my house along with his siblings, which was in a way good for them to be back in the house. Gale was trying to get things back to normal, He worked double shifts in the mines while I looked after Posy and Vick. I knew Vick was a teenager and probably didn't need a babysitter, but he was still underage; same goes for Rory. He may have been 17 years old and was considered an adult in some peoples eyes, but in reality they were no more than teenage kids. It has been about a week since Hazelle's death and things in the Hawthorne house were far from returning to normal. Gale had funeral arrangements to make all the while working his double shifts to bring food into the house. So many times I offered him a huge chunk of cash and so many times he denied me and said he'd get it himself. That didn't surprise me though, it wasn't the first time he refused my money and wasn't the last time either. Peeta spent the days making bread and cookies in the bakery and as he did that I would go out hunting or into town. Haymitch's birthday was coming up real soon and I wanted to get him something really special, something that he has been missing for a couple weeks. A small,very small bottle of wine. He'd surely love me for that one, but Avara on the other hand wouldn't probably like the idea of getting Haymitch hooked on the stuff again, so after much thought I decided against the wine idea. I haven't seen Haymitch since my get together at my house. I wasn't worried this time, I knew he was probably spending every waking moment with the ginger haired women. Which was good for him, it gives him something to think about besides the fact the capitol destroyed his life. I wanted to get Haymitch a very special birthday present: problem was I didn't know what to get.

I walk through the streets into town, wrapped tightly in my heavy winter coat, My boots made a slushing sound with every step I took. I was bored, completely and utterly bored. My mother was at the district 12 emergency room, Peeta was at the bakery which I would probably go in there in a couple minutes to help stock shelves if he needed my help. Gale was working in the mines, he has been there since six this morning, it was 11:00 already so he had a long ways before coming home and so did his siblings who were at school, getting a so desperate education and here I was wandering aimlessly through the streets trying desperately to find something, anything to do. A sudden wave of sickness hit me, I really was getting tired of getting sick to my stomach. I have been throwing up so much lately that Peeta had actually threatened to force me into the doctors office. Good thing I talked him out of it, telling him I had the flu seemed to convince him for the time being. I didn't want to tell him about my suspicions of being pregnant just in case they were false and I hoped to god they were false. I didn't want to have a baby I wasn't ready for that kind of thing, Hell I was never, ever going to be ready. I stopped in my tracks and allowed the sick feeling to pass from my body. Once it was gone I walked through town with my hands in my jacket pockets and my held my head low. I just had to know if my suspicions were correct, I had to know if I was pregnant and the only way I was going to do it in secret was to buy one of them store bought pregnancy test things. What harm could that do? I'd buy it, use it and become relieved once my eye bored into the tiny little minus sign.

I knew the odds were not in my favor though, My period was a couple days late and that has never happened to me before. It didn't matter tho it would come, it would come and I would feel foolish in thinking me and Peeta had accidently gotten me pregnant. I walked into district 12s newly built pharmacy and glanced around. A dark haired woman greeted me when I entered and caused the bell to alert the workers to my presence. I walked across the floor and searched the shelves for my targeted item. When I found what I was looking for I bit my bottom lip and slipped it off the shelf. I felt awkward carrying the deadly little box in my hand, I felt like every pair of eyes were one me and that tiny little box that I was holding. The closer I got to the resister the harder my heart pounded in my chest. I set the box on the table and the women smiled happily at me, which gave me great discomfort.

"Expecting a little one" She asks me, trying to make small talk.

I shot her a fake smile, "Not for me"I lied.

"My mistake" She apologized and scanned the box which rang up to 2.99, "What a good friend you are"

"Thanks" I shove the money into her small hands and snatched the box off the counter without another word to her. Once outside I felt even more out of place. I should of asked for a bag instead I am holding it out in the open for the whole entire world to see. I stuffed the test into my coat pocket and had the idea of going to the bakery, but I stopped dead in my tracks unable to move another inch. The last thing I should do was enter the bakery with a pregnancy test stashed in my pocket. I didn't want anyone to know about this, it was my little secret and mine only. Nobody was to know about it. I stalked off towards home feeling the sickness begin to rise through my body again. When I got home I kicked off my hunting boots and pulled the box from my coat. I studied it and took a deep breath before shrugging out of my coat and hanging it on the coat rack. I took a seat on the couch instead of going upstairs and all I did was stare at the little white device I had ripped from the box. This was it the moment of truth. I slowly entered the bathroom once I was able to tear my eyes away from the device in my hands.

"Please don't be positive" I mumbled to myself as I took the time to place it in between my legs. After taking it, I set it on the bathroom sink waiting to see either a small little pink plus or a blue minus sign. I stared at it the whole time it was calculating and once something did appear my heart sank to the ground and I began to cry. It was pink. I was pregnant. Peeta had knocked me up without either of us realizing it. I threw the box and device into the trash and changed the bag so nobody would ever know what I was up to. I took the trash outside and tossed the bag into the dumpster. I wasn't going to tell anyone, I was just going to keep my cool and pretend to have the flu. I was going to work up a speech and then tell Peeta everything. I spent the day cleaning the entire house starting with the living room, into the dinning room, kitchen, I swept the stairs, vacuumed and scrubbed. This was the only way to keep my mind off that test. It had to be wrong, those little cheap store bought brand had to be wrong. They had to be inaccurate. I can't do it, I can't bring a baby into the world, I won't; I am scared to death in being responsible for someone again. I failed everyone that I had ever been responsible for, all my friends that I've known throughout the world...Dead, gone because of the uprising that I had started against the capitol. I heard someone knock ever so softly on my front door a couple hours later and my heart dropped, I was in the kitchen engulfing soup that that I had made for myself, Glancing over the clock I relaxed a bit once I saw the time. It wasn't time Peeta, it was way to early and besides he wouldn't be knocking. I rose from the chair, pulled back my front door and sighed in relief once I caught sight of Delly's blonde head and then I had to blurt it out when she came into view. It was eating me alive.

"I'm pregnant" I blurt out.

She raised her eyebrows and stopped in her tracks, "Katniss...That was uh...random"

"I'm sorry but I don't know who else to tell, I was going to keep it to myself but then the urge to tell someone swell." I bit my bottom lip and set my jaw. Delly approached me from my now perched positioned I was in, on the bottom step of the stairs. She placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled brightly at me.

"He is going to be so happy you know"

"I know I know, but I really don't think we are ready for this" I said.

Delly chuckled, "You should of thought about that before you took a roll between the sheets with him" She was softly joking with me, trying to lightened my mood with her humor. I guess in a way it was working.

"You cannot tell anyone ok" I made her promise me, I wasn't ready for people to know just yet, especially not Peeta; I didn't want to get his hopes up if it turns out that the test was wrong, I did spend 2.99 on it so it had to be wrong because it was so cheap.

"You know what I'll pretend we didn't have this conversation alright" Delly smiled.

"Thank you and I'm sorry I was random... I'm just really scared right now" I say to her.

"I'm your friend, I'm here for both of you" Delly states.

"Good now..." I rose from my perched position and gave her a smile, "What brings you here?"

"Peeta probably isn't here huh, I need to pick up flower...I just forgot what kind he gets?"

I shook my head, "No hes at the bakery and I know what kind he gets"

"Good me and you can have a little girl time" She squealed happily.

"What should we do?" I ask calmly.

"Want to go into town with me that is why I came over here" Delly invites me.

"Sure" I nodded, "I need to get Haymitch a birthday present anyway" and maybe one more pregnancy test, which I didn't tell her that one. I had already went into town and had no problem going in there again for certain items. I pulled my coat and boots back on, Delly and I took to the sidewalks that led into town. Along the way I kept trying to think of a way to disprove that cheap test that I had done on myself earlier. Delly sensed my brief discomfort and wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

"Stop fretting" She scolded me with a smile.

"I can't help it" I told her, "I m really, really scared."

"Try not to focus on it" Delly said.

How can I not focus on the possibility that there may or may not be new life slowing growing inside of me. New life that Peeta and I created from our passionate love making, I kept seeing that small little pink plus sign over and over again. It was wrong it had to be wrong and I was determined to disprove it no matter what. I was going to make an appointment with district 12's one and only doctor Hamila. I knew he didn't like me very much, but there was no denying me of my appointment. Delly and I entered the new hob and began examining through the stands of things. I told her what kind of flour to get and we split ways for a couple of seconds and I took my time in searching for another small little box, which I came up empty. I wandered through the hob before coming to a stop at Ripper's stand. The one-armed women smiled at me once she caught sight of me.

"How do you do Everdeen?" She asks smiling.

"Just fine thank you" I glanced along the line of wine bottles and once again decided against on getting Haymitch a bottle for his birthday.

"Anything I can do you for?" Ripper asks kindly.

"Nope just looking" I reply.

I left her stand a couple minutes later and meet up with Delly in the center of the hob, she was dragging a large bag of flower, I immediately thought of Peeta. He must have given her money so she could carry the thousand pound bag all the way to the bakery. Those damn things were heavy as hell, how was he supposed to have a 103 pound girl carry it from the hob to the bakery.

"Did Peeta ask you to get that?" I asked noisily.

She nodded, "He sure did, his supply is getting low. We can drop it off at the bakery and then get some lunch if you want" Delly said.

"Sure that sounds good, I miss Peeta a bit and I'm sure he will be glad if I popped in on him" I was in a way very excited to see him, but seeing him would make me want to tell him about the baby that was probably like a deformed sea-monkey inside of me. I had to keep it quiet until I was 100 percent sure that I was going to have a baby. I bent my knees, dipped down and grabbed hold of the right side of the flour bag. Delly scolded me in a instant.

"What are you doing!"

"Helping you carry this" I said.

"If you are pregnant Katniss, you wouldn't want to be lifting things like this"

"Del, I'm not crippled and besides that test was wrong" I grabbed hold of the bag, ignoring her protest and the two of us made our way to the bakery. We dragged the bag of flour through the slush and snow, dirt got all over the bag which was high unsanitary. We dragged the flower up the steps and Delly push the door open with her whole body and continued to drag the damn thing inside. I locked eyes with the blonde haired woman at the register and immediately my body filled with jealousy. The blonde Peeta was always hanging out with was giving me a hard look, her blue eyes bored with mine and there were fire in them.

"Hey Ceal" Delly greeted.

"Hey Delly!" Ceal greeted back but never talked or even acknowledged me. I knew she didn't like me because Peeta was in love with me. A blind man could see that Ceal had the hots for him and would do anything for him, which that really pissed me off and if I was pregnant she didn't want to piss off a pregnant woman because a pregnant Katniss was the most dangerous thing that wandered district 12 and if this witch angered me in any way then an arrow would find a home in that large ass of hers. Ceal wasn't fat but she did have a chunky ass that swelled like a balloon. Peeta entered from the back a couple minutes later, his face lit up when he caught sight of me and Delly. He came over hugged Delly, thanked her for her services and then approached me, hugged and kiss me right in front of that blonde witch. I decided to have fun in making her jealous, Peeta was about to pull back but I snaked my hands through his hair and held his head in place. Delly giggled as she became fully aware of what I was doing. Then another one of Peeta's workers emerged from the back.

"Mellark the bread is burning, stop suck-facing"

Peeta disconnected our lips and bolted for the back, I grinned and turned to Ceal, "Where would you like the flour?" I asked and licked my kissed lips.

"Just leave it there!" Ceal said in a snappy tone of voice. She took one hand and bounced her ponytail around. That will teach that witch to flirt with him, god how I wanted to tell Peeta I was probably pregnant with his child right in front of her. When Peeta reentered the room, he scooped the heavy bag of flour up over his shoulder leaving Delly and I dumb folded.

"Show off" Delly chuckled.

"I am muscle man" Peeta said taking one hand off of it.

I rolled my eyes and started to follow Peeta into the back but Ceal cut me off, "Sorry you can't go into the production area"

Peeta suddenly answered, "It's alright Ceal she is with me"

Ceal batted her eyes, placed her hand against Peeta's shoulder and squeezed, "Alright sorry Peeta" she placed the tip of her finger in her mouth and bit her nail. Ugh I wanted to punch her in the mouth so badly right now, if she didn't take her hands off his shoulders I was going to wrestle her to the ground and beat her face with my fists. Pregnant or not I wasn't going to let her step into my territory. I followed Peeta into the hot steamy oven room and watched as he set the flour down on the table top.

"What did you two do to this thing?" He asks examining the dirt that found a home on the bag.

"It was really heavy and we couldn't lift it" Delly says in our defense.

"They are so light" Peeta chuckled.

Delly rolled her eyes and punched her best friends arm, "Maybe for you muscles"

Peeta chuckled and tickled at her sides causing her to back off, then their horseplay died down and Peeta placed a hand on the back of his sweaty neck ,becoming serious, "Del, Can you give Katniss and I a minute to talk" He asks politely.

"Sure can boss" Delly winks at me and stalks out of the room, her long blonde hair flowing behind her. Boy did that hair really grow, it used to be kind of short now its down to the center of her back. I was brought out of my thoughts as Peeta leans forward and kisses me again.

"yes do you want something?" I ask him batting my eye like that witch did earlier, he liked it more coming from me and not Barbie in there.

"I want to make sure you are feeling alright" He says to me.

"I'm fine" I assured him.

Peeta was silent for a moment and then spoke the words that I have been dreading to hear, "Kat, Do you think maybe you...could be...a little..." He gulped unsure if he should finish his sentence, "Pregnant" Why would he even ask something like that, shit what was I going to tell him now? The truth...no he can't know yet not until I am 100 percent sure I am pregnant.

To be continued...


	27. The No Answer

Thanks for pointing out some of my misspelled words to me, I'm going to try and be more careful I know this story is full of mistakes and I'm going to go back and catch them, but please be easy I am only human Although I should get a spelling and grammar checker, anyone know a good online one? If you do please tell me, in the meantime please enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 27

The No Answer

I immediately shook my head indicating that I was not pregnant, but in reality I wasn't sure. The sickness that purged my body was a mystery to me, it could be anything from the flu, a bug and yes a baby. I was having sex with Peeta so the option about the baby was not out of the running just yet. Peeta placed his hands against my shoulders and stared into my eyes hoping to find the correct answer or any indication that I was lying with the several shakes of my head. I hated lying to him about this and felt beyond guilty about doing it, but I had to be sure that I was knocked-up before going around and telling everyone and anyone. Telling Delly was one thing I knew she could keep my secret even if it meant keeping it from her best friend then she would do it.

"I'm not pregnant Peeta" I say half lying half telling the truth, I wasn't sure which was the right answer, but I needed to find out and fast. I needed to take a accurate, real pregnancy test and not one you paid petty change for. I saw the disappointment rush into Peeta's face as he nodded his head in acceptance. That was easy enough, telling him straight up that I was not pregnant. Did he really believe me or was he playing me and knew what I had done earlier, what the test read. Impossible I threw it out before anyone could look at it.

"Why do you ask Peeta" I ask in a slightly nervous tone of voice.

He stretched his arms and ran a hand through his blond hair, "You are throwing up all the times and I read somewhere that if a women throws up becomes dizzy and is overcome by nausea then their is a good possibility they could be pregnant" Blush covers his cheeks and ears as embarrassment of having looked that kind of thing up becomes known. I giggled at the sight of his red face, leaning forward I pecked him before turning my attention to the oven timer which dinged loudly and nearly scared the life out of me. The heavenly scent of cookies fill my nostrils and I make my way to the oven and slide on the oven mitts. Peeta watches me carefully as I lift the tray of cookies off the oven rack and onto the counter.

"You need to learn how to bake" He says, giving me a small peck on the lips, he digs through the kitchen drawers to find a spatula to scrap the hot cookies off the pan and onto a plate where they can cool and then become ready to be packaged and sold to our neighbors. I inhaled the cookies scent and grinned as the scent filled my nostrils again, I recognized the scent in an instant. Peanut butter cookies. Not one of my favorite but still make a good midnight snack for those who wake up in the middle of the night like I sometimes do. My all time favorite thing to eat besides cheese buns were Peeta's buckeyes, my god I could sit there and eat box after box of them. If they were healthy for you like vegetables and fruits were then thats what I would be eating every day of the week.

I spent the next couple of hours in Peeta's bakery helping him stock shelves and just being in his presence. Delly had stayed with us too and the three of us really started to have a good time. We ate lunch in the back room with a couple of Peeta's workers, excluding Ceal since she would not go anywhere near me. I loved that she hated me for the stupidest reason. she reminded me of the girls at school when I was in high school. Always pouting and whining when a boy they liked never showed them any affection, we had lots of those type of girls in my grade. Ceal needed to get over herself and face reality; Peeta was MINE. I could get very aggressive with her if she dared touch him in that flirting way again. I couldn't wipe the images of her long slender witch like fingers gripping all over his shoulders. I knew Peeta was too much of a nice guy to tell her to back off, but I would of gladly ripped that witch's hand right off her wrist, pop her arm right out of her sock if she had the nerve to wrap it around both his shoulder.

"Katniss?" Peeta snapped his fingers in front of my face, bringing back into the real world, "Are you alright?"

I blinked a couple times and notice four pairs of eyes, two of Peeta's workers, Delly's and his staring at me as if I had lost my mind. "I'm fine why?" I took a bit out of a cheese bun and swallowed it down. They were all still looking at my like I was some sort of psycho. What did I do? Did I say something out loud while I was thinking about pounding the life out of that little wanna-be Barbie in the other room.

"Honey, you had the most deadly look on your face, your brows dipped down, you showed us your teeth and it looked like you were about to bite someone's head off. What were you thinking about honey?" Ripping Ceal's tiny little head off her body, but I didn't tell him that. I took another bite of cheese bun and avoided eye contact with everyone that was sitting around the table. Peeta's worker chuckled to themselves and continued eating their lunches. I finished off the bun and took a huge gulp of water, Peeta who was sitting right next to him threaded our fingers and suddenly placed his lips at my ear causing shivers to run down my spine.

"I love it when you get jealous" He said the words so quietly that they were only audible to me, nobody else at the table could hear, they weren't paying attention to us really. They were chatting about the weather and one of them was flirting with Delly which she took no interest in him whats so ever. I cocked my head to the side and shoot Peeta a look. "I'm not jealousy" I mutter. He laughed and slide his hand out of mine and moved it down to rest against my left side, he squeezed, chuckled and let his hand wander to the outside of my thigh and then the inside. I bit my lip and looked at the people sitting at the table, praying to god they didn't look up and see the excited look on my face, because when Peeta touched a certain area of mine that was covered by my jeans I nearly lost it. I had the argue to take him right here and now, on the table, in front of everyone, in front of that stupid Barbie Ceal. I'd be marking my territory right in front of her. God I felt like a psychopath thinking such things about someone. She deserved it, she had her sights on my man and that wasn't okay with me. Peeta's hand moved away from my covered area and I suddenly struggled to keep my breathing normal and calm. I looked around to see if anyone was watching us or giving us the slightest bit of attention, nobody was.

Lunch ended and Peeta's workers returned to the ovens, while Delly and I took the time to stock shelves. As I entered the store part of the bakery I was greeted by deadly glares coming from the register. I loved making her mad, all I had to do was to step foot in the same room as her and that was it. Lethal stares would starts, grunts and mumbles would come from her mouth and occasional a flip of her ponytail and her nose up in the air at me.

"She really doesn't like you" Delly says from the cinnamon bun shelves. "I can guess why"

"Because she has the hots for Peeta and Peeta is mine" I say with detest.

"Bingo" Delly chuckled.

"She better keep her grubby little hands off of him" I say the sentence loud on purpose hoping she would be able to hear me, which she does and shoots me a horrible stare, her brows are furrowed and her eyes bore into mine with such hatred. I can't believe this women has so much hatred for me just because I am Peeta's girlfriend or should I say fiancee. I raise a brow as I stare down at my engagement ring. If I really wanted to hurt this girl badly I could always giggle to Delly about how beautiful my engagement ring was and how romantic it was for Peeta to get down on one knee and spill his heart out to me. I grinned as the thoughts surfaced higher into my mind, but then I decided against it and resumed stocking the shelves with Delly. No I wasn't going to stoop to her level and be a witch to someone who didn't deserve it. Thats right I didn't deserve her glares or jealously, Peeta was mine and that was not my fault. I pushed the aggravated feeling I had towards her aside and focus my attention on stocking the shelves.

Once the shelves were stalked and it was time for Peeta to come home, I looped my arm around his, Delly was trailing behind us with her head down. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure she was still behind us and that was when she gave me a looking saying I should tell Peeta about the baby. I went all day without throwing up or without Delly giving me one of her deadly looks about the subject. I wasn't going to tell him just yet because I still didn't know, that test was probably a lie. We walked a couple feet away from the bakery and I noticed the miners were just coming out of the mines for the day. I unraveled Peeta and I's hands as I caught sight of Gale walking with Thom, his good friend from the mines. I wanted to make sure Gale was okay after everything him and his family been through I wanted to make sure there was nothing he needed me to take care of for him. I heard Peeta's heavy sigh, but him and Delly silently walked behind me without any objections.

"Hey catnip" He greets me as he removes the ash, coal and dirt from his face, it must be suffocating him down there, his jaw is tightened, his face far from relaxed. I couldn't even imagine going down there every single day and waste my life pounding at the earth. I much rather see Gale in District 2 taking that fancy job back and making more than enough money, but that was impossible for him, there was no more life for him in district 2 anymore and it was mainly because of the knowledge of his mothers illness surfaced and because he wanted to escape that witch he had gotten pregnant. Gale didn't deserve someone that would go to great lengths to hurt him from the inside out and that was what that women did. It wasn't his fault that she was too weak to carry his child. Gale looked at Peeta and nods which caused me to raise an eyebrow. I had overheard them making a truce a couple nights ago and now lets see if that truce will last. He then turns to Delly and his face become a little softer.

"How are you holding up" I ask him.

"Better than we have been" Gale replied, his eyes never leaving Delly's face, it is awkward the way he is staring at her like that, she shifts in her place uncomfortable and I snap my fingers in front of Gale's face.

"Stop staring at Delly" I scold lightly.

"I'm sorry" He moves past me and continues to examine her, "I don't think we have meet"

"This is my friend Delly" Peeta introduces in a low tone of voice.

"Yeah, Gale she was in district 13 with us, helping Peeta with his memories"

"Gale Hawthorne" He says sticking his hand out for her to grab it, which she never does. Delly merely nods her head and smiles at him.

"Delly Cartwright" she introduces herself, but still doesn't take his hand.

I watch Peeta's eyes as they move between Delly and Gale, his face is blank, emotionless, his jaw is set. He wraps an arm around Delly's shoulder and distances her from Gale. I chuckle to myself at Peeta's actions. He was being an overprotective friend, not that Delly needed any protection from Gale anyway, he was harmless or so it would seem. Gale rubbed more dirt off his face and soon he joined Peeta, Delly and I on our long walk to the victors Village. He would leave my side once we past The Seam and go home to wait for Rory, Vick and Posy to get home from school, But in the meantime I was walking between Peeta and Gale with Delly trailing silently behind us. The silence between all of us was so awkward and so nerve racking that I had to think of something to say or do in order to break it.

"So Gale do you want to come to Haymitch's birthday party?" I invited.

All three of them suddenly burst out laughing, I felt the heat rise to my face and I turned to Peeta to give him a scornful expression. "What's so funny?" I question.

"Haymitch would kill you if you decide to throw him a party" Peeta says in a loud chuckle.

"He would not be happy" Delly adds.

I turn to Gale hoping he would take my side, "I can only imagine" he chuckles.

We all walk and chat the rest of the way, I convinced Gale to come to Haymitch's birthday that I was going to give him, regardless if he was going to be unhappy with me for planning it or not. I knew Avara would take my side and help me with the party. I hugged Gale goodbye, he nodded in Peeta's direction and gave Delly a small forced smile. Then I watched him disappear from my sight. I turned to Peeta and placed my head in his shoulder as we continued to walk down the sidewalk towards the victor's village. Delly left us alone about halfway there and I suddenly felt very vulnerable. What if he started asking questions about the baby? Would I have the nerve to tell him the truth. No I did tell him the truth I wasn't pregnant or anything. Peeta and I came to a stop at my front door, I fished through my pocket for my keys while he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me neck. His hands moved and came to a rest against my flat stomach. Peeta nibbled at my neck, cheek, jaw and the corner of my lips.

"Peeta, could you stop for a moment" I was having difficulty in retrieving my keys from my pants pocket, he did and I easily slid the keys out and handed them to him. He raised a brow in confusion, "My mother is working a double shift at the hospital tonight and I need to take her lunch" I say, its half-true, my mother was working a double but that was not the reason why I was going to district 12s hospital. Peeta took the keys from my hand and slid them in the keyhole, unlocking the door, I bolted inside and gathered food for my mother. I kissed him goodbye and left him standing in the kitchen before he had time to question my odd behavior. It didn't take me no time at all to get to the hospital, the building was a good sized one. it was brand new to our district and a good addition considering we had mine accidents a lot. I pushed opened the double doors and was greeted by that foul, indescribable hospital scent. They were not busy at all, I looked around the white room hoping I would not run into my mother, I would leave the food for her in the employee room and then sneak off to take a secretive pregnancy test.

"Can I help you?" One of the nurses asked.

"Um I came to bring Lyan Everdeen some lunch" I gulped and showed her the bag of food.

"I'll set it in lounge room and give it to her once she done with her patient." I handed her the food.

"Miss is there..." I gulped as I got the nurses full attention, "Are you busy...this evening?"

"No we are not why"

"I need to know something" I mutter, my heart pounding in my chest, sweat forming on my palms.

"Yes what is it?" She asks.

"I think I might be..." I lowered my voice, "Pregnant...I need to know ASAP, but I don't want everyone knowing I am here for that reason"

The nurse doesn't seem at all shocked about my small announcement, she nods and agrees to do a small test of me to determine if I was indeed knocked up or if it was just an illness spreading through my body. She leads me into a room and I follow her instructions about an hour or so later my fears are confirmed I am about 3 weeks pregnant, very early. This was impossible every time Peeta and I made love we were incredibly careful. I buried my head in my hands and sobbed, I was not ready, these people were lying. No, No, No.

To be continued...


	28. FortySeven

Chapter 28

Forty-seven

I played it cool for the next couple of days and kept the morning sickness a secret, every time I had an urge to throw up I would calmly walk away from Peeta and empty my stomach in the toilet. I really should tell him, but something in the pit of my stomach told me no. I knew Peeta had the right to know I was carrying his child. Why was I lying to him about something as important as this. I pushed the guilt aside and watched as Peeta took the time in decorating a large vanilla birthday cake. Haymitch was completely unaware that we were going to be celebrating his forty-seventh birthday party. If he had any knowledge of this Whats so ever he would put a stop to it. All of this was my idea to begin with, Haymitch had never had a party for as long as I known him, he spent so many birthdays alone, with only the bottle for company. I had enough of him being alone and unhappy, and I am so thankful that Haymitch found the distric 4 ginger. Avara was pretty good for him, she seemed to keep him out of trouble which was a good thing because Haymitch usually found trouble.

Avara and my mother was in the process of hanging a happy birthday streamer from my wall. It was best we throw the party at my house instead of his that way he would not catch wind of what we were up too. Haymitch would put a stop to this whole birthday surprise thing. I can hear it now, the embarrassment in his voice, yelling at me for throwing such a ridiculous party, how he was too old for such things and how birthday parities were for younger children. I watched Peeta hands as they gently squeezed the white tube of frosting onto the newly baked cake. He decorated it so beautifully that I almost felt sad in having to eat and destroy it later on in the day. A loud pounding on my door caused me to jump, caused Peeta to stop frosting the cake and caused my mother and Avara to nearly lose their balance on the stool. I raised my brow and bolted for the door hoping to god it wasn't Haymitch. This was supposed to be a surprise birthday party and it was no surprise if he was going to barge right in here looking for Avara. She left him in the wee hours of the morning to come over here and help with the cake and decorations. I flung open the door and my mouth dropped to the ground as a the sight of an all to familiar middle aged women with a large pink wig, pink eye shadow, pink lipstick and pink attire came into view. I smiled widely and flung my arms around her, driving her into a huge bear hug.

"Effie" I squealed as I continued to hug the life out of her. I haven't seen her in so long that I almost forgot she existed up until now. Effie pulled back from the hug and straighten her suit. Still dressing fancy even though the capitol has been overthrown, but that was Effie for you.

"Nice to see you too darling" Effie says and moves past me to examine the decorations in my house. As she moves past me more people move into view, My old prep team, as soon as they caught sight of me they all started hugging and kissing me, telling me how much they missed me, how boring things have been since I have been away. Venia takes my hand into hers and starts to examine every inch of my nails, She shakes her head and lets my hand drop to my side and then showers me with hugs and kisses just like Octavia and Flavius.

"Keeping your hair clean?" Flavius asks me and runs a hand through my long black hair that I had taken out of the long braid I usually keep it in.

"What are you guys doing here?" I ask them, trying hard to wiggle my way out of their death grip.

"Haymitch's birthday is today, we were doing a bit of travel and Effie suggested we go and see him for this special day" Octavia explained.

"You only turn 47 once in a lifetime" Venia grinned.

"Besides things in the capitol are heating up" Flavius blurts out, he covers his mouth with one hand as Effie shoots him a deadly look that makes me shiver. What did Flavius mean? I look between my old prep team.

"What does he mean?" I ask Effie.

"Nothing important dear" She says and continues to examine the decorations for Haymitch's birthday party.

I smiled at my old prep team and allowed them to enter my house, closing the door behind them, trapping the chilly breeze that was lingering into my house. Once the door was close a wave of nausea made its way into my stomach and I groaned. Not now, the baby was forming and it was only a matter of time before Peeta starts noticing the small lump that was beginning to form on my belly. I was able to hide it with my extra large size T-shirt that was until now stayed buried in my closest. I almost had trouble buttoning my jeans up this morning, I was only three weeks and already I felt like a whale. I waited until the sickness passed and started to follow my prep team into the kitchen but something very entertaining caught my eyes and I stopped in my tracks to listen to the conversation Effie and Avara were having about the streamers that were tied overhead. They were red and green almost like Christmas colors , but with a tint of sparkles and a light leaf green color.

"Darling those are the ugliest colors I have ever seen in my whole life" Effie said pointing to the sparkling red and green, "Christmas has long since pass"

Avara frowned, "Haymitch's likes these colors"

"How would you know that darling" Avara opened her mouth to speak, but Effie held up a finger and stopped her in mid-sentence, "Why don't I just pay you for your services to this room for Mr. Abernathy's forty-seventh celebration, that way you can be on your way"

"Excuse me!" Avara cheeks flushed in anger, the red color that was seeping into her cheeks matched her hair. Avara crossed her arms over her chest and stared at Effie long and hard for a moment. This was the first time I have ever seen Avara get annoyed and slightly angry. From what I could tell she was usually kind, laid back and basically the opposite of Haymitch, but still I think a good match for him.

"You heard me Hon, you have horrible taste and Mr. Abernathy will not be pleased with the half-ass job you have done here"

My eyes widen at Effie's choice of words and I looked between the two of them. Did Effie not realize that she was talking to Haymitch's girlfriend. Avara's lips dipped into a frown, her cheeks red with anger, her brow furrowed, fists clutched and it looks like she was about to deck the wig right off Effie's head. I couldn't wait for these two to start fighting over Haymitch, it was going to be a real treat for me to watch these two roll around in the snow fighting over that old prune. I wasn't the only one in the room that stopped what they were doing, from the kitchen Peeta struggled to keep the smirk off his face and continue to frost the cake without people having the knowledge that he was listening. My mothers mouth was wide open at Effie's words to Avara and my old prep team were the only ones paying little to no attention to the two women in the room.

"Excuse me I don't know who you think you are but..." Effie placed her finger against Avara's mouth.

"Shh, shh dear I am just telling the truth"

"Uh Effie" I called out to her, her eyes connected with mine. I might as well tell her now and get it over with.

"Yes, Katniss dear" Effie straighten her suit once more.

"That is Haymitch's girlfriend" I say trying the best I could to hide the smirk that was forming on my face, but it was no use my lips twitched in an upwards grin as Effie's face became a deep red and she stared daggers at the ginger that was standing before her. Effie said nothing else and stalked off into the kitchen to greet Peeta and probably rummage through my fridge looking for a decent thing to drink. I laughed to myself and made my way back over towards Peeta, but before I had a chance to sit down my old prep team surrounded me and examined every inch of me.

"Can we do a make-over on you?" Octavia begged.

"No" I immediately rejected.

"Please Katniss" Venia pouted and batted her eyes.

"No" I repeated.

"Just your hair" Flavius pleaded.

"What did I just say" I moved past my old prep team as they hung their heads low in disappointment. I sat back down and continued to watch Peeta frost Haymitch's cake and for some reason I couldn't get Flavius's words out of my brain, they were there swimming through every part of it. What did he mean things were heating back up in the capitol? What was Paylor doing in that city? I haven't been to that city in five years and lots can happen in five years. It was my old prep team member for goodness sakes the slightest thing would cause them to run scared, it was probably nothing. Still I could push the uneasy feeling I had aside, Flavius's words kept echoing in my head _'things in the capitol are heating up'_ what was that supposed to mean. Nothing, absolutely nothing was wrong in that city, everything was how it was supposed to be. Paylor was doing an amazing job.

"Are you alright honey?" Peeta asks me.

I smile up at him, "Yes baby I'm fine" He set the bottle of frosting down on the counter and pecks my forehead quickly. Haymitch's cake was done and ready. Peeta pulled off his apron and gloves and slid a chair out from under the table, sitting directly across from me, studying every inch of my face as if I was trying to hide something from him, which he was really good at reading me. I was keeping something from him: I was pregnant. There was a baby growing inside of me, his baby, our baby, our girl or boy.

"I love you" I say quietly from across the table.

He chuckles, "I love you too"

Another knock on my door, this time my mother answered it, Delly came bouncing in with balloons in her hand and a smile written across her face. She let go of the red balloons and allowed them to bounce off the ceiling. She looked like she was in a glorious mood today, for reasons that are unknown to me. Her blonde hair was tucked back into a ponytail, she was wearing a pair of jeans and a sweat-shirt. She greeted my mother and Avara kindly and then She made her way over to me and pecked me on the cheek and then she did the same to Peeta.

"How are you Katniss?" She asked taking a seat next to me.

"Fine" I reply with a hint of annoyance in my voice.

"So where is the birthday boy" Delly asked excitedly.

Peeta and I couldn't stop the laughter that was escaping our throats as the words left Delly's mouth. Haymitch would hate the be called a birthday boy, he would even consider killing Delly if he heard the words that had spilled from her mouth. Delly couldn't help it though, she was a sweetheart and would say anything that came to her mind. She pulled the empty chair out of the table and slid into it with such easy. She raised an eyebrow at me and then her eyes quickly moved towards Peeta when he was looking the other way. I cocked my head at her confused, unsure of what she was trying to say. Then she touched her stomach and nodded her head in Peeta's direction. Peeta was watching Effie pick through our fridge looking for something, anything that looked good to eat. I shook my head at Delly and she rolled her eyes and shook her head as well.

It wasn't long before Gale and the rest of his siblings made it to my front door, to tell you the honest truth I didn't think he would come, but I guess he proved me wrong. I guess he really was trying to make an effort in building back our relationship, accepting the fact Peeta was my other half and I was going to marry him no matter what. I knew Gale would accept it I just had this feeling deep down in my gut. Gale would be happy, his other half was out there, he just hadn't found her yet and it wasn't that stupid witch back in district 2 that he had gotten pregnant. Ugh I would smash the witch right into the ground. Posy came right up to me and gave me a huge hug, Rory and Vick patted me on the back and joined Effie at picking through the fridge, Gale slid into the last open seat at our table and folded his hands neatly together. He looked tense and strained, like these past couple of days were horrible for him.

"How are you doing Gale?" I ask him.

"Ugh strained, stressed. I'm having hard time making funeral arrangements" He says rubbing his hands against his temples. Gale tells us his plans in not wanting too have to bury Hazelle in the freezing cold like this. He wanted it to be warm and beautiful out when they buried her, but that was impossible since the body was starting to decompose somewhere in the district morgue. Then he tells us he will probably have to bury her in the freezing cold like this and that it will cost him and his family an arm and a leg. I don't offer to give him money because I know he wouldn't take it, so instead I offer to help with the arrangements and he accepts it.

"I'm very sorry" Delly's eyes locked with Gales and she gave him a sympathetic look.

"Thank you, I rather her not suffer" Gale forced the words into a reply. He didn't want anyones sympathy, he had to remain strong for his own sake and the sake of his siblings. He had to be strong and so did my mother and I if we were to help keep his family functioning. The only thing that mattered to Gale right now was getting his mothers body buried and at peace.

Avara went over to get Haymitch a couple minutes later and I couldn't help but laugh at the look on Effie's face. She was completely and utterly jealous of Haymitch's new girlfriend and it wouldn't surprise me if she was thinking of a way to sabotage their relationship. Effie was extremely jealous, she was as jealous as someone could get. We shut the lights off and remained still, as soon as Avara entered the room and flickered on the lights we all yelled surprise and Haymitch's face turned a deep shade of red and his eye found mine and I started to receive glares from him. I smiled, winked at him and giggled as Avara had to force him into the room. Boy was I going to get it when all of this ended. I didn't care at the moment because right now it was time to party and celebrate Haymitch's forty-seventh birthday.

"You are going to pay!" Haymitch said pointing a finger in my direction, I couldn't help but laugh harder.

To be continued...


	29. Secrets

OMG my face is turning red from a PM I just received a couple days ago, you guys are amazing I can't believe I was nominated for a energize W.I.P. award, that has never happened to me before. I am so touched and honored that one of you nominated me I wish I knew who you were so I can thank you for all your support on this story. I don't know what to say about this, I really do got a good group of people Reading and supporting me on this. Keep the good reviews coming, I haven't had as many and I really wanna hear from you and you won't be sorry. Much Love to you all.

Chapter 29 Secrets

Haymitch was really going to ring my neck for putting on this birthday party for him. Once we were alone he was going to let me have it good, but in the meantime I watched him examine the streamers, balloon and the large amounts of smiling guests. He shot Avara a pleading look, but she merely smiled and shut the door behind him. There was no escaping; Haymitch was stuck here with a room full of people that loved him. He deserved this wheather he liked it or not, it was so much better than being locked away in his house drowning himself in a bottle of booze each birthday. He walked through the living room greeting everyone around him, boy was he shocked when he finally saw Effie and my prep team. He raised an eyebrow and started giving them twenty questions to answer. Effie whispered something in his ear that caused his face to become hard, Haymitch's gray eyes settled on me for a split second and he nodded his head in agreement. What the hell were they talking about over there? Did it have something to do with what Flavius had said earlier, _'things are starting to heat up in the capitol'_ What did he mean by that? It was going to drive me insane until I knew what was going on; traveling my ass; my prep team did not like to travel they liked to stay in there home and play dress-up, eat and gossip; that is what they used to be doing. I didn't know what kind of new rules President Paylor was enforcing, but I knew one thing no more hunger games, no more suffering, no more getting treated like animals. Haymitch entered the kitchen and Avara made him sit down at the head of the table, he glared in my direction and I merely smiled, winked at him and blew him kisses. I could tell he wanted to wipe the smile right off my face. I can hear the lecture now, 'Birthday's are for children, Katniss", 'I"m a grown man, Katniss' Oh yes the lecture was coming when Haymitch got ahold of me in private, but that wasn't until later on in the evening right now was all about the party and celebrating Haymitch's birthday. We all took our places at the table and gorged ourselves with the huge cake Peeta had been frosting earlier in the day. I took my place next to Haymitch and he folded his hands on the table and glared at me, I knew what was coming.

"Didn't I say no party" He hiss in a deep tone of voice.

I shrug at him, "I can't help myself sometimes"

"Your going to pay" His voice was a little softer and much more playful.

"Bring it on old timer" I challenged.

"Me and you, outside, after the party, snowball fight"

"Accepted" I grinned.

"Haymitch darling I hope you like the decorations" Avara smiled.

"I love them dear" He replied and leaned over to peck her, she was sitting on his right side and I was sitting on his left. Effie rolled her eyes as a puckering sound filled the room. She cleared her throat, raised her glass, "A toast is in order" We all joined her and lifting our glasses full of either juice, water or in Gale and Delly's case whine.

"To Haymitch" Effie grinned and everyone one said 'to Haymitch' as the guzzled down there beverage.

"To you old timer" I whispered in his ear before sipping my glass of water, I obviously wasn't going to drink the whine that Gale had brought for this special occasion. I was pregnant and tonight when everyone left and Peeta and I were alone; would be the night I tell him. I was done lying to him, there was no more denying it, I was pregnant with his baby and there was no changing that. I just hoped Peeta wouldn't be too mad at me for not telling him sooner. Oh well I was going to tell him today and hopefully he would be happy that I told him about it.

"Bite me" He mumbled back.

"Don't tempt me" I grinned.

It wasn't much of a birthday party just a cake and a little dancing nothing to major and I failed to fine Haymitch the perfect birthday present. Oh well I guess getting people together for his special day was enough. When it was all over, my prep team decided to leave and occupy one of the vacant houses next door to Peeta's home. My mother had to go into the hospital, Effie stuck around wanting to talk with Haymitch in private, Delly remained here sipping tea with Avara and Rory took the kids home while Gale stayed behind. I was so glad and happy that he decided to accept me and not kick me out of his life just because I was deeply in love. I guess Hazelle and Rory were right he needed time and that was what I gave him, I just hope he kept his promise to Peeta and not fight with him anymore for my sake. So far so good, he did not cause any trouble today or the day before for that matter. I sat on the couch and rubbed my stomach, it was full of cake, pumpkin rolls, cheese buns and just about every sweet Peeta had baked today. The fire felt warm against my face and when the couch dipped down and Peeta took his seat beside me I removed my hands from my stomach and looked into his memorizing blue eyes.

"Stomach still upset?" He questioned.

"Yeah" I mumbled this was it my chance in telling him everything that I have been keeping from him for the past few days. I was a couple weeks along, not very far in the pregnancy, My heart pounded in my chest and my stomach turned and did flip flops, my palms became sweaty and my breath was ragged and heavy.

"Are you alright?" Peeta asks me.

"There is something you should know" I gulp.

"Yes?" His eyes are full of curiosity and he has his arm around my shoulders, while I snuggle close to him; between his body heat and the heat from the fireplace it was impossible for me to become cold. I lifted my head off his chest and kissed him quickly on the mouth before hopping off the couch and bringing him up with me. I wanted us to be alone when I tell the news about our baby and since Avara, Delly and Gale were in the kitchen sipping their beverages I felt as if they were going to listen in on our conversation. I was just about to lead Peeta upstairs to our bedroom, but Haymitch and Effie came down the stairs. Haymitch had a grim look on his face, he rubbed his temples as if trying to sooth a headache. What was discussed in that room?

"I need a drink" Haymitch said and stalked into the kitchen. I raised my eyebrow, let go of Peeta's hand and turned to Effie who was adjusting her pink suit.

"What did you say to him?" I demanded an answer.

"Nothing important dear" Effie was lying to me I could see it in her eyes and by the way she stood in front of me in an awkward position. My anger flared up, I suddenly snapped at her louder than I actually meant to.

"Just tell me what the hell is going on!" I snapped.

Effie snapped back, "I told you nothing!"

"Don't give me that. Flavius slipped and said things were heating back up in the capitol, Now what is going on?"

"Flavius rambles, You know them... they ramble aimlessly"

"Please tell me Effie" My voice was a little softer now, " What is going on in the capitol? What is Paylor doing?" Effie's eyes wandered towards Haymitch and she shot him a questionable look as if she should tell me what she told him in the study room. The same study room that President Snow and I had over very first conversation. I saw Haymitch shake his head in Effie's direction.

"Nothing" She said turning her gaze back to me.

"Liars"

I threw my hands up in the air, started to cry and rushed up the steps with Peeta trailing behind me. I knew it was nothing to get upset about, but my hormones were ragging because of the forming baby inside of me. I entered our bedroom and nearly slammed the door in Peeta's face, but he was quick and slipped in before the door slammed shut. I tossed myself on the bed and cried. Effie was lying to me, my whole prep team was lying to me, there was no way in hell they were just traveling around the districts and happened to stop in district 12 for Haymitch's party. No something was going on and I was going to find out what. My prep team were still like children and I had ways in making children talk. Peeta sat on the end of the bed, with his hands folded.

"Kat, maybe your being paranoid" Peeta suggested.

"No, I'm not!" I snap at him, "Effie told Haymitch something important, something he don't want me knowing and Flavius said something earlier about things heating up in the capitol"

"Could mean a million things" Peeta says calmly.

"Something is going on Peeta" My mind started racing to the night he stabbed me with the kitchen knife and then told me all about going back to the capitol to find a cure for his hijacking and if there was something wrong with the capitol I didn't want him going back there. If Effie and my prep team knew something then I was going to force them to tell me; even if I had to scare them a small bit. Maybe it was just me, I was pregnant and sometimes pregnant women's hormones took off like a rocket ship.

"Honey I think you should let it go. Whatever Effie had to say it was between her and Haymitch. For all we know she could of been trying to seduce him in the study, could be trying to break Avara and him up. You don't know, besides if something is wrong in the capitol it's none of our business"

"But your going back!" I yelled him a reminder.

Peeta sighed, "I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up"

"How can I not? "I frown and dip my body under the covers, "Your going to leave me after we get married"

"Only for a bit" Peeta says.

"Your episodes have subsided?" I questioned.

Peeta shook his head, "Not a bit" Of course I have no knowledge of any of this because he slips away when one starts to plague his mind, slips away to Haymitch's house and the two of them battle it out and wait for it to pass. The less knowledgeable I am, the safer I'll be. Safety should be my first priority especially now since I was pregnant, but my first priority was to help him, bring him back from these horrible images. He didn't need a cure... he needed me. I put that issue aside and sat upright in bed, Peeta kicked off his shoes and was in the process of sliding onto his side of the bed. I had to tell him about the baby; like right now.

"I need to tell you something"

"Good or bad?" He question.

"Both" I mutter.

"Is it serious?"

"Yes"

He looked a little scared now like I was going to tell him I no longer wanted to be with him, so I just blurted it out without giving him a chance to open his mouth or even allow one word to spill from it, "I'm pregnant" there it was those two words that were going to change our lives forever.

"You...Your what?"

Did I have to say it again? "I'm pregnant Peeta, I found out a couple days ago. I wanted to tell you when you asked me at the bakery, but I couldn't I had to be sure"

"Your..." His smile grew wider and I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and crush me softly against his chest softly and hugged the life out of me, "My god your amazing, my god"

"Your not mad at me?"

"God no I.. oh god I love you, Katniss...I love you so much" Peeta kissed me quickly and then placed his hands against my belly, "I love you baby" He rubbed my tummy gently. " I love you, Katniss"

"Peeta we are going to be a mom and dad" I cry tears of joy instead of sorrow and soon the conversation with Effie escaped my mind and all that mattered was this man that was currently kissing me, rubbing my belly and telling Me how amazing I was. I was 22 years old and pregnant; it seemed a bit to young to get pregnant and start a family, that was an issue with me. Even though the savage capitol members were gone I still didn't want to bring a baby into the world, in a way the world that was once North America was still a horrible place. I knew this place used to be called North America because in text books at school it tells us what it used to be like before the chaos spread through the world, before Panem rose up out of the ashes and before the capitol became vile and cruel.

"We're having a baby" Peeta yelled out, I wouldn't be surprise if the guests downstairs heard his big mouth, "We're having a baby" He repeated.

"Yes, We are" I smiled, tears of joy ran down my face.

A huge weight has been lifted off my chest, Peeta was so happy I don't think I have ever seen a more happier human being. He kissed me over and over again, told me how amazing I was, rubbed the spot where our child was forming and told me he wanted to marry me ASAP, but I wanted to wait until the warm weather before we got married. My life was going in a wonderful direction I was pregnant, engaged, had my best friend back in my life, had my mother and all my old friends by my side, nothing could go wrong, but then again all this seemed to good to be true, I would be lucky if I did get my happy ending.

"I love you" I tell him as he untangles himself from me and slides off the bed to stretch out his muscles. He had a huge smile on his face and he probably felt like he could take on the entire world.

"I wanna tell everyone...right now" He says, "I wanna blurt it out for all of Panem to hear...for real this time...it is really, really real." He chuckles.

To be continued...


	30. Snowball Fights

Chapter 30

Snowball Fights

Peeta was extremely happy about the baby and wanted nothing more than to tell the entire world about it. I had to stop him from blurting it out to everyone that still remained in the kitchen and living room. I didn't want my mother to know just and I really didn't want Gale to know; he was just coming around and accepting the fact we are nothing more than friends and having the knowledge that I was pregnant might set him off and erase all of our progress. I would tell the rest of them when I was ready, my mother being the last person I tell because I just knew when I revealed it to her she is going to have this huge list of lectures about how she warned us that safety was the number one thing to look out for, blah, blah, blah. I loved my mother don't get me wrong, but sometimes I just wish she would vanish when she got into her moods. It would be alot simpler just to have written my mother a note, it was be easier if she was still in a different district practicing medicine that way I didn't have to tell her I was pregnant face to face. I could hear it now, her saying I was too young to have a baby, how I should of waited until I was a bit older. I guess she was only looking out for me, but I wasn't a little girl anymore and didn't need her lectures. I walked back downstairs a couple minutes after telling Peeta the wonderful news about his baby that was growing inside me. I was surprised he wasn't the slightest bit angry at me for not telling him about it sooner. I guess none of that mattered to him. I entered the kitchen and took my place next to Effie who was adding a coat of pink lipstick on her lips. I wish she would stop wearing so much make-up, I think she would look completely beautiful without that vile stuff. I might as well apologize to her for yelling at her and accusing her of lying to me. Although I knew for a fact that something strange was going on in the capitol, that Effie Trinket and My prep team was not here by choice to travel, they were here because something was very wrong I could feel it in my bones. I don't know maybe it was my hormones ragging again, I could be paranoid like Peeta said, maybe Flavius was just rambling like Effie said or maybe he meant something by his statement. I pushed my thoughts aside and cuffed my hands together, staring at Effie I waited for her to make direct eye contact with me before starting my long winded apology speak.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you and stormed off" I apologized to her.

"Oh darling that is nothing new" Effie said adding another coat of lipstick on.

"I'm serious, I haven't seen you in so long and that was not how I wanted our reunion to be"

"It is fine then" Effie says with a smile.

"So are you going to tell me why you are really here?" I ask in a low tone of voice.

Effie sighs heavily and shakes her head, I'm wondering if she isn't allowed to tell me what is going on in the capitol. I knew I shouldn't pester her, but I really wanted to know why all of a sudden her and my prep team showed up on my door step. They claim it was for Haymitch's party and maybe they were telling the truth, maybe not. I let the subject drop as Effie refused to answer me and remain silent. I slid out of my chair and was about to stalk over to Peeta who was sitting on the couch by the warm fire, but suddenly I felt myself being lifted of the ground and into someone's arms. Haymitch was holding me against his chest and we were moving towards the front door.

"Put me down now!"

"Nobody to save you Sweetheart, Now did I or did I not say no party"

"I can't remember" I say innocently.

"Sweetheart, here comes the punishment" Haymitch starts towards my door and I have no idea what he is going to do to me.

"Peeta help!" I chuckled.

Peeta gets up from the couch and I think he is about to help me, but instead he pulls on his coat and shoes to watch my torment. No more sex and kisses for him if he didn't save me from this baboon. I locked eyes with Gale and pleaded for his help, but Gale merely smirked, finally I called out to Avara, she wasn't going to help me either. I giggled as Haymitch flipped me over his shoulder and continued to carry me, using one hand to pull open my front door I knew what his intentions were and started screaming for help. My screams were playful and I thrashed around a bit in his arms. This was my punishment for throwing a birthday celebration for him. He was going to cover me with handfuls of that freezing cold snow. This was going to be cold I had no coat on and I was only in my slippers, hopefully I didn't catch a cold. Gale, Peeta, and Delly all gathered around outside to watch Haymitch take a huge handful of snow and slap me on the top of the head. The snow scattered in my hair and shivers ran down my spine and neck' it was so cold, but not as cold as the freezing water that I had fallen into not to long ago.

"Help me Peeta Help me!" I begged as Haymitch grabbed some more snow from the railing and covered me with it. He was going to get it when he put me down. He carefully walked down my icy stairs with me over his shoulder, pounding gently at his back. We had no coats on and snow was gently falling from the heavens. Haymitch finally set me down and as soon as he did I wailed him in the face with a huge snowball, not actually meaning to nail his face.

"That is it" He says, making several round little snowballs with his hands I decided to bolt for the front door, hoping to escape his deadly balls, but as soon as I reached the door it was Peeta's turn to scoop me up into his arms and carry me back towards Haymitch.

"Peeta!" I giggled as he held me in place and allowed Haymitch to hit me over and over again with snowballs. A single snowball Haymitch threw came hurling towards my face, I ducked my head to the side and instead of hitting me with it, it hit Peeta. I laughed as Peeta set me on my feet, scooped up the cold snow in his hands and patted it in a perfect round ball. He flung it in Haymitch's direction and it missed. Peeta was in the process of making another one when I took a good handful of it, snuck around him so his back was facing me and as quickly as I could pulled back his sweatpants and allowed the snow to touch his bare flesh. Peeta jumped so badly that someone would think he had just got stabbed in the rear-end or something like that. Before I knew it I had Haymitch and Peeta coming after me. Delly merely grinned from the top of the stairs, but suddenly came to my aid and wailed Peeta with a bunch of snowballs. We were all acting like a couple of teenage kids. Gale was the only one that was standing on the top of the icy stairs, chuckling to himself as he watched the four of us fight each other with snowballs.

"Come one Gale!" I shouted and ducked out of the way of an oncoming snowball that Delly had threw my way.

"No thanks I rather..." He didn't finish his sentence, the white cold puffy ball of snow exploded in his face stopping the words that were coming from his mouth. I looked over my shoulder trying to determine who threw it. I knew it wasn't Peeta; he wouldn't dare do something like that and neither would Haymitch. Delly placed a hand against her mouth. I wasn't expecting her to be the one to wail Gale with snowball.

"I am so sorry I was aiming for Peeta, he ducked and..." Gale zoomed down the stairs and Delly squealed, hiding behind me, hoping I would provide her with some sort of protection from my friend. I chuckled and threw one at Gale's face as well. I was glad to see him smiling and having a good time. He needed to have fun once in awhile, to let loose. He works all the time in that lonely gloomy mines that he probably forgot what fun was really like. Delly bolted from my side running around like a mad-man. Peeta came up behind me and scooped me up into his arms, he spun me around and around until we were completely dizzy; then we fell to the ground, chuckling and breathing heavily.

"Well that is enough fun for me" Haymitch said out of breath and heading back into the warm house.

"Sure thing old man. This is too much for your old body to handle" I teased him. I looked up towards the beautiful sky, the sun was going down and the sunset was a beautiful purple red. That beauty was soon interrupted by a handful of snow being throw down on top of me. I yelped as it covered my face.

"I'm not old" Haymitch says and stalks back into the house.

"Happy birthday old man!" I shouted after him.

He stuck his middle finger up at me. I chuckled and laid my head down on the cold snow below me. I flapped my arms and legs around and made a perfect snow angel. I would have to go in soon because the chilly feeling in my body was becoming uncomfortable and I didn't want hypothermia to threatened my life again. I stared up at the sky again and watch the sun begin to set; this time Peeta was the one that blocked my view.

"You should go in. I don't want you and the baby to be cold" He says.

I ignored his words completely and just stared him in the eyes; those beautiful ocean blue eyes. God I could stare in his eyes all day and all night and never get bored. I reached up to brush the hair that was in his face aside.

"I love you" I whisper to him, hoping Gale would not see the current position I was in. I was lying down with Peeta hovering over top, but something told me he was preoccupied tickling the crap out of Delly. I could hear her frantic cries and fits of laughter. I titled my head up so I stared at them in my upside down position, she was on the ground, Gale on his knees, bent over her tickling her sides and throwing more and more snow on her. I really wasn't surprised that Gale was doing this to a girl he had only meet a couple days ago. You didn't hit Gale Hawthorne in the face with a snowball and get away with it; even if it wasn't on purpose.

"Help me Katniss Please!" She yelled out in fits of laughter.

"I might as well rescue her. Can you let me up" I push against Peeta's chest, but he remained motionless.

"Can I have a kiss?"

"Nope" I teased.

"Why?"

"Because you wouldn't help me from Haymitch" I giggle.

"Then we will stay out in the cold until you kiss me" He says placing his hands against either side of my head.

"I got to save Delly before she pees her pants" I say.

"Gale will stop eventually" Peeta said.

"No really he will tickle her till she pees herself" I laugh, "You don't throw a snowball at him and get away with it"

Peeta glances in their directions and raises an eyebrow, "You think he is moving on a little too fast"

"Peeta! He just met Delly. She won't be a rebound" The corner of my lips dip down into a small frown, Gale wasn't going to use Delly as a rebound, at least I hope he wasn't using her just to get over me. Delly was just too nice of a girl and she didn't deserved to be used like that. I knew how Gale could be though. He could be a jerk and an arrogant ass, but I knew for a fact that he wouldn't use her, treat her like a rebound girl. Delly was just too nice and she didn't deserve that.

"Give me a kiss and I'll let you up"

I sighed in defeat and lean up to capture his lips into mine. He kissed me for a good thirty seconds before rolling to the side and laying flat on his back in the snow. I rose and rubbed the numb feeling out of my arms. By the time I reached Delly; she was a mess, her blonde hair was sprawled out on the ground, tears were streaming out of her eyes and she was thrashing against the ground.

"Alright stop being mean to Delly" I tell him.

"I'm not being mean to her" He says. His hands are removed from her sides and he looks up at me distracted.

"You are too" Delly chokes out a laugh and gets as far away from his as possible, She enters the house and so does Peeta.

"You didn't have to tick her to death"

"That snowball hurt" Gale smiled and rubbed the back of his head, "And it was cold"

"You deserve it" I say shivering.

"Catnips you need to go back inside, You'll catch your death out here" He says.

I might as well obey him for my sake and the baby's sake. He got up from the wet ground and brush the snow off his pant leg. The two of us entered the house and I was greeted by a warm sensation that made the goose bumps in my arms start to fade. Everyone that was outside gathered around my large fireplace drinking hot chocolate Avara had made us. She handed Gale and I a cup of hot chocolate with marsh mellows floating to the surface. I thanked her for the cup and took my place amongst my friends and family. These people were my family, they were everything to me. I took a seat next to Peeta, placed my hot chocolate on the coffee table in front on me and weaved my fingers through his.

"Who wants to watch the evening news" Haymitch ask us. Avara had taken a seat on his lap and handed him the remote off the coffee table.

"The news is boring" Peeta commented.

"Yeah only old people watch that" I add.

Haymitch shot me a look, "Call me old again Sweetheart and I'll lock you out there with that blasted cat I forgot to tell you about"

"What cat?" I questioned.

"Buttercup, the thing is hideous" Haymitch commented.

I had forgotten all about buttercup, he hasn't been home for so long I thought he had run away from me for good, not that I would care. Haymitch turned on the news and as soon as he did A women in her mid-thirties came on, a microphone in her hand, a serious expression on her face, worry in her voice and under her in big bold print was the words: Assassination attempt on President Paylor's life. Effie bolted from the kitchen where she was perched and flipped the TV off quickly. So this was it, this was she was hiding from me. Someone wanted to kill president Paylor and by killing her the newly enforced rules would vanish and whoever takes her places has the right to enforce any law including the hunger games. I placed a hand over my belly and shook my head multiple times before bolting off the couch and out of sight. No, No, No I wasn't going to bring my baby into that kind of world.

To be continued...


	31. Situations

Why the silence guys I did not get too many reviews :(, oh well if you do not got anything to say then its fine lol I am like many of you probably are: A review hog. This story is taking a mind of its own so if you do not like where I am going with it please stop reading. I have to end this a certain way just so I have something to go on in order to start a second and possible a third. I can't have everything be so peaceful between Kat and Peeta, Drama must be added and I know some of you probably won't like it. So please try and enjoy this chapter and if you have something to say I wanna hear it PLEASE lol.

Chapter 31

Situations

I bolted up the stairs for the second time today feeling like my whole world had just come crashing down on me. Had someone really threatened to take Paylor's life? Who would do such a thing as that? I threw myself down on the bed and wrapped my hands around my flat stomach in a protective way. No way was I going to bring a baby in the world where old capitol people ruled. This was not going to happen again; Paylor would make sure of it, besides it was only an attempt. There was still air in her lungs and she was going to do everything in her power to find the threat and stop it for good I just knew she would. I had nothing to worry about the arenas have been destroyed so it was completely impossible for someone to rebuild it after a bomb nuked the crap out of all of them. It would take ten to twenty years just for one person to rebuild everything. I wanted to know what was going on in the capitol and the only people that were here to tell me where Effie and my prep team and darn it she was going to tell me everything I wanted to know. The door to my bedroom creaked opened and I was expecting Peeta to stick his head in or maybe even Gale, but it was Haymitch. He ran a hand through his hair and moved into my sight. He closed the door behind him and took a seat in the sofa chair next to Peeta and I's bedroom window. He watched the snowflakes fall from the sky and cover our yards.

"It's not as bad as you think" Haymitch says.

I snorted, "Someone tried to kill her and if that would of happened things would go back to the way they were"

Haymitch shook his head, "Plutarch wouldn't let that happen"

I brought me knees to my chest and laid my forehead against them, Haymitch didn't understand why I was getting so worked up about something like this. It was a serious matter we had on our hands, so why was Haymitch treating it like it was nothing to worry about. He certainly knew more about the current situation than I did. Was it possible he knew Effie would come to his forty-seventh birthday party if things got out of hand in the capitol. Did the two of them plan it out? Did Haymitch know all about the party and used that to get Effie to come to district 12. I wouldn't of suspect her of anything, just a young women visiting her friends and attending a party here in 12. I wouldn't have suspected she was here because of the incident in the capitol that I knew hardly anything about. It may or may not have been that bad, but I was determine to gather as much information on the current situation as possible.

"Did you know about the party?" I asked.

Haymitch shook his head and cracked a smile, "No, I would have stopped you, Parties are for children"

I snorted at his comment and asked, "Did you know Effie was coming"

"No" He replied honestly. I could always tell when Haymitch was lying to me just by the way his face would tightened and he couldn't look anyone in the eyes when he was lying to someone. Right now his gray eyes met mine, his face was relaxed, legs crossed, arms folded and he was ready to answer any question that I threw at him.

"How bad are things in the capitol?"

"Effie said they are somewhat hairy, but not too bad. She and the others really are traveling the districts. She just remembered my birthday was coming up and decided to head to 12 along with the others to see you and me" He answers.

Guess I was wrong about my prep team I guess they did like to travel after all instead of playing dress up. Did I overreact when the newscaster said someone tried to kill Paylor? Maybe I did maybe I didn't. I just needed the facts and once I had them I would be able to determine that fate of my baby growing inside of me. The helpless little baby that will never become a tribute as long as I live. Peeta's baby was going to grow up happy and healthy, he will not grow up hungry like Prim and I and he would have no fear of the hunger games.

"Who tried to kill her?"

"A peacekeeper"

"What?" I cracked a small smile, "Peacekeepers really? Aren't they all taken care of?"

"I thought so too, but it seems there are still people out there that are more loyal than ever to our dear deceased friend President Snow"

"What kind of sick people do we have in this world"

Haymitch shrugs, "I don't know sweetheart, but I do know none of this is your concern. You can stay out of it and rest easy while the officials take care of business. Your war is done" He says and gets up from to sofa chair to take a seat on the end of my bed. He must have forgotten Peeta's words about a cure and having to go to the capitol to look for it.

"It is my war if Peeta goes there" I reminded him.

Haymitch sighs heavily, "Sweetheart, We are doing everything we can to help him with those episodes and if going to the capitol is needed then he'll do it"

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, "I can't allow him to go Haymitch not now"

"He'll come back, besides I already said I'd go with him if he needed someone"

I can't lose either of you!" I cry out.

Haymitch smiles, "You won't"

"You don't get it Haymitch. I can't lose you or him or anyone for that matter" I cry and tightened my hold on my legs.

"Huh?" He was confused as to why I was beginning to cry so badly. He had already told my that things in the capitol were not as bad as I had made them out to be, that it was a mere peacekeeper that had tried to kill the president, nothing major and he had made me feel better by telling me Plutarch Heavensbee would not allow someone to kill the president and even if someone did manage to kill Paylor; then Plutarch would rise up and become new leader of Panem. I knew for a fact that he wouldn't even dream of enforcing the old rules because he had spent most of his life trying to change them. I relaxed a bit and allowed the tears to vanish, I was overreacting at the mere thought of a peacekeeper trying to kill the president.

"Was it just one?" I ask Haymitch.

"About 12" He replied.

"So there are still peacekeepers around?"

Haymitch nods, "According to Paylor's military defense around the capitol there is a handful"

"Not that many right?"

" Their not sure yet, they need to find the source; Where the peacekeepers are coming from" He answers.

"I can't stand the thought of this happening again" I sigh and stretch out my legs so they are away from my chest and on the bed, I place a hand against my flat stomach and Haymitch rises a confused eyebrow at me.

"Still sick?"

"You can say that" I mumbled.

Haymitch remains silent for a couple seconds then burst out into fits of laughter. I raised my eyebrow, unsure if he was loosing it, "He actually... did it" Haymitch manages to say between fits of laughter. I am so unsure of what he was talking about until realization dawns on me. Haymitch has figured it out. He has figured out that Peeta accidently got me pregnant and this makes him laugh even more.

"Good lord...I didn't know he had it in him" Haymitch laughs, tears spill all over his eyes and fly all over the place. I sit there with a frown on my face waiting for him to stop his laughing fit, as soon as he did I was going to push him off the bed and yell at him. I didn't understand why he found it funny that Peeta managed to get me pregnant. Haymitch would be Haymitch I suppose. I didn't have to worry about pushing him off the end of the bed because he was laughing so hard that he toppled off the end himself.

"Why is it so funny Peeta got me pregnant?" I ask with a frown.

Haymitch wipes the tears out of his eyes and repositions himself at the end of the bed, his laughter dies down and he looks at me and chuckles, "I'm sorry Sweetheart its just too funny. I can't begin to imagine you two as parents and its funny just picturing you two going at it since you both are somewhat high-pitched in voice it would be like hearing two little mice go at it"

I thrust my leg forward and kicked him off the edge of the bed this time. "We do not sound like two rats"

Haymitch gets up off the floor an rubs the sore spot on his behind, "Anyway is that why you overreacted when you saw the broadcast? Because Baker-boy got you knocked up for real this time and you are afraid of bringing your baby into a world full of hatred?" Haymitch let a smile appear.

"It's not funny and yes that is why"

"Well remember this sweetheart this has nothing to do with you, let the government officials and defense committee take care of this peacekeeper problem. You and Peeta figure out a way to tell your lovely mother that you two decided to hit the sheets and make a baby." He laughed and slid off the end of the bed.

"How do I tell..." My voice trails off and I rubbed the back of my sweaty neck.

"How do you tell Gale?" He can read me like a book.

"Yes, I don't want to hurt him anymore that I already did"

"You'll find a way around it sweetheart, now lets go downstairs shall we, everyone is waiting for you and I still have to stuff my face with more cake" Haymitch joked and offered me his hand. I took it and he softly pulled me off the bed and onto my feet. I guess he made me feel a little bit better by telling me that I had nothing to worry about ;that Paylor and her men would take care of the wandering people the old capitol left behind. I guess they weren't much of a threat because supposedly they had been trying to do this for five years and it has failed every time and every time they attempted it they would broadcast on the news: assassination attempt or that was what Effie told me when we entered the living room and took our places amongst our friends. She explained everything to me and the more she told me the more I began to realize it wasn't much of a threat, but why in the world was she hiding it from me? Did she not think I could handle it.

"Why did you tell me sooner? Why did it have to be a secret?"

"I knew this would be how you'd react and besides its hardly a big deal" Effie replies.

"If it wasn't a big deal then you should of said something"

"Oh dear stop being dramatic" Effie says taking a sip of coffee.

"So you really are just visiting or are you hiding from the place, Give me an honest answer Effie"

"We are traveling around and I really came for Haymitch's birthday. I wanted to see my dear friends in district 12 after all this time of being away. So did Falvius, Venia and Ocatavia; they miss you so much" Effie said.

"Their just peacekeepers right?" I question.

"Yes nothing to fret about" Effie replies.

"Are you sure they have been trying this for awhile that this is nothing new"

Effie chuckles, "You really don't want the news do you"

I shake my head, "No"

"Always so paranoid and your emotions are so high all the time" Effie laughed.

"I can't help it Effie I'm..." My voice trails off and my eyes wander over to Gale who is staring at me, drinking in every word I am saying. My gray eyes go from Gale to Peeta who is watching the news closely trying to determine if Effie and Haymitch was right about not having to be alerted. I couldn't help it if I was was overreacting, after everything I have been through it's kind of hard not to be on the alert all the time.

"Pregnant?" Effie questions.

Peeta eyes widen at Effie's words and Haymitch tries hard to keep a straight face. I look over at Gale who's jaw has tightened, eyes widen. He is waiting for me to tell Effie no, but should I tell her no this was my one chance to tell everyone why I acted like this. My eyes lock with Gale and he shoots me a pleading look, he really wants to know my answer to Effie's questions.

"Yes" I tell her never taking my eyes off of Gale.

Effie smile fades and she raises and eyebrow, "Are you really?"

"Yes" I muttered, still not taking my eyes off of Gale. He just sits there emotionless, his fist clutched into a ball, he sets his jaw and just stares at me and then his eyes move to my stoamch as if trying to see the bulge that has not developed yet. He is trying so hard not to make a scene and when he gets up quickly and walks away from the happy chatting crowd I make a hurried attempt in chasing after him. I glance over my shoulder to give Peeta an apologetic look and continue to go after Gale who is now sliding on his coat and shoes and heading for the door. He walked out of my house and I followed him.

"Gale! Wait please" Please don't let him turn on me and erase all of our progress. He made a promise to Peeta and He better keep that promise or I am really done this time.

"Are you really pregnant?" He asks coldly.

"Yes Gale I am" I reply honestly.

The look his eyes is a mixture of hurt, anger and complete sadness. I have never seen so much sadness in his eyes. He opens his mouth to speak and I can only listen and pray his reaction to me being pregnant isn't going to be as nearly as bad as the one he had when I chose to be with Peeta and not him. He had fought me so much and tried so hard to make me change my mind and be with him, but no use I loved Peeta. The sorrow in his eyes turned to anger and I waited for him to yell at me and once again decide to ruin our progress in rebuilding our friendship.

to be continued...


	32. Always and Forever

Chapter 32

Always and forever

I stare into Gale's gray seam eyes hoping to find some trace of emotion in them, no such luck. His face remained emotionless, his hands clutched into fists and he was biting his bottom lip hoping to chose his words carefully. He had to find out sooner or later and telling him along with everyone else that was in the room seemed like a good idea at the time; a huge weight was lifted now that everyone knows my secret, well almost everyone; my mother still didn't know about it. I didn't know how I was going to tell her about her grandchild that was slowly developing. I watch Gale stand as still and as stiff as a board, his eyes bored into mine as he waited for me to start explaining myself and things that were happening. I prayed to god he wasn't going to erase our progress, scream at me, tell me how much of an idiot I was in letting Peeta have me. I always told Gale I never wanted to have children, Always told him I never wanted to get married and now here I am pregnant and engaged. I placed a hand on his shoulder and he gently shrugged it off; it wasn't an aggressive shrug just a slight jerk of his shoulder. Here we go again, He was going to yell at me.

"I mean are you really, really pregnant?" Gale asks hoping the answer would be different.

"Yes I am Gale" I reply with a nod of my head.

"He's the father?"

I sigh heavily, "Well I havent exactly ever slept with anyone else"

"This is...wow... I honestly thought you were smarter than this"

"Gale...Please don't be angry"

He was silent for a moment, his head was tilted slightly towards the side, as if trying to get a good look at the forming baby inside. I wasn't showing yet, but it was only a matter of time before I started to grow a huge belly. I was almost past the sick days of the pregnancy and onto looking like a cow. I was going to have to wear sweatpants from now on just in case my tight hunting pants and jeans didn't fit anymore. I wanted to know the baby's gender so badly, but I would have to wait until I was a little bit bigger and he was more developed. I didn't' know if it was a he or she, but for time being I would just call the baby a boy.

"Please don't be mad at me" I begged him, "Please don't ruin the progress we have made just because you found out I am pregnant"

"You don't know how bad I want to cut off Peeta's..." I interrupted him.

"Stop it" I pleaded.

"Why did you let him do it?"

"It was an accident" I say.

"Haven't you ever heard of protection?" Gale throws the question at me and places his hand against his face. He looked stress out at the fact I was knocked-up by someone he hated, but yet had to tolerate.

"Have you ever heard of it?" I threw back at him. I wish I could take that back because the women he had gotten pregnant lost her baby. Gale sighed heavily before placing his hands on my shoulders and staring into my gray eyes. I couldn't read him, not at all. I didn't know if he was feeling angry towards me, or sad or a mixture of both. He had to have been feeling a tint of sadness; just at the fact that I had actually slept with Peeta and we made a baby.

"I can't believe you let Mellark do this to you" Gale muttered.

I was beginning to get a little irritated with him. "We both did this to me, I was more than willing to let him..." Gale tells me to hush and I do.

"I don't want to hear it" He says plugging his ears in a childish way.

"Are you angry?" I ask him.

"You darn right I am. He knocked-up my best friend" Gale replies.

"So are you going to yell at me, tell me our friendship is over. Tell me I destroyed things between us" The tears surfaced and a few rolled down my face. Gale merely smiled and wiped a few of them away, letting his hands drop from my shoulder he backed up a bit to get a good look at my face.

"You need me right?"

"Yes I do" I answer honestly.

"Alright then, I'll be here always and forever"

"Are you telling the truth?"

He shoots me a look, "Of course I am"

"I don't know if I can trust you, you were really mean to me before"

"That is in the past"

I smile at him.

"I'll tell you this I think you are stupid for letting him knock you up like this and I want nothing more than to pound his face in, but I am a man that has to learn to keep his promises... so as much as this pains me to say this I'll be there for you Catnip as a friend"

"You mean it?"

He nods his head, "I mean it"

"You have no idea how much that means to me" I smile.

"Well I don't want to be that person that makes you cry anymore."

"Good"

"But I still hate him for doing this to you"

"You don't have to like him"

"That's good news"

I was shocked he handle it way better than I thought he would. Maybe he was finally coming around because if I would of told him about this when he first came back to district 12 then he would of blown a gasket and probably strangled Peeta. I mean literally choked him for knocking me up and having his way with me on more than one occasion. Without thinking about it I moved forward and wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him into a hug. I was so happy he didn't storm off, didn't curse Peeta's name. He was jealous and a bit angry at the fact I was pregnant and Peeta was the father of the baby, but he kept it all to himself.

"I'm proud of you" I smile.

"Proud of what?" He questions and lifts up an eyebrow.

"That you didn't snap out of me" I say.

"Oh catnip I can be civil at times" He smirked.

"Lets go in, its freezing out here" I say.

"Actually I really do got to get home to Rory and the others they would be missing me"

"Alright"

We hugged each other tightly and he pecked me on the cheek before turning around and stalking through my yard and into the night. I watch him make it to the road and disappear into the darkness. I wasn't a fool I knew by just the way he walked that he was beyond jealous, beyond hurt and angry. I knew he wanted nothing more than to make Peeta pay for getting me pregnant and if that was the case he sure was doing a good job in hiding his torment from me. I walked back into the house and rubbed the chilly feeling from my arms. I closed the door and took my place on the couch next to Peeta and Haymitch. They were still watching a broadcast and the newscaster was talking about something completely different now, not about the attempt on Paylor's life. I took little interest in it and placed my head against Peeta's shoulder.

"Well sweetheart did Gale blow a gasket?" Haymitch questions from beside me.

"He's fine with it. I was just walking him out"

"Thats good to hear" Haymitch says with a smirk in his voice.

The group talked amongst each other for the longest time. I took little interest in what they were discussing, My head remained on Peeta' shoulder and I was slowly drifting away to sleep. The last thing I heard was the sound of Haymitch's voice before falling into a deep sleep. I slept peacefully for about a half an hour before I felt myself being lifted from the couch and carried to my bedroom where I knew Peeta had set me down on the soft contents of our bed and was currently sliding his shirt off and rummaging through our dresser. I yawned and sat up on the bed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes I got a clean view of his bare back and bit my lip as images of me running my hands down that strong back began to flood my mind. The need for sleep vanished and the need for Peeta's strong hands on me grew.I watched as he stripped down to nothing but his boxers, that was when I decided to slip off the bed and tiptoe across the room so I was right behind him watching him pull on a pair of sweatpants. He had no idea I was behind him and when I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed at his bare shoulder blades he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" He chuckled and placed a hand over his heart.

"No" I kissed the side of his neck and moved to the spot that got him excited. His ear. I suckled on his ear and watched him titled his head to the side and give me better access, "I'm trying to seduce you" I mumbled seductively in his ear.

"Kat, please behave" He lightly scolds me.

"No" I smile and continue to kiss and lick at his ear. I placed my hands against his strong chest and take my time in feeling his large muscles. He turned around so that we were facing one another, without warning I stood on my tiptoes and pulled him into a deep kiss. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up into his arms, I wrapped my legs around his waist and he carried me to the bed and gently set me down on the soft fluffy pillows.

"Now lets make..." He kissed my neck and pushed up my baggy shirt I had been wearing all day. "triplets" He caught my lips with his and drove me into a deep kiss.

"I'm not giving birth to triplets" I say breaking the kiss.

"Twins" He grinned.

"No" I chuckled as he gently pushes my shirt all the way over my head. He shoots me a playful pout and all I do is kiss his lips. Peeta is extra gently with me this time only because he has knowledge of the growing baby inside of me. Our lovemaking is sweet and painless, my hands devour his back, the blankets is hiding our bodies from the cold draft that drifted in my bedroom. His kisses are tender and slow. I am really glad my mother was working late at the hospital tonight because if she came home and found us devouring each other once again then I was going to get another lecture from her and that was the last thing I wanted. Peeta held me close and continued to kiss every inch of my skin I loved his gentleness and the way he touched me in such a loving way. My breath began to speed up as he started to be a slightly bit rougher with me, but not too much rougher. I kissed every inch of exposed skin as I could get, His lips, cheek, neck. My nails clawed down his back creating little red lines that went from his neck, down his sides and back. I loved this man so much and couldn't wait to marry him and have his baby. After an hour and a half Peeta grunted one final time and relaxed his muscles, he was about to roll off of me but I held him in place and played with the hair on the back of his neck. He placed his head against my chest and struggled to keep his breathing under control. I didn't know why every guy had to place their head against a women's chest when they got done making love, but it didn't bother me not one bit.

I wanted him to fall asleep on top of me like this, but that was impossible; it was a comfortable position now, but later it would be uncomfortable. I continued to play and run my hands through Peeta's sweaty hair, when he looked up at me I could see nothing but love and passion in his eyes.

"What do you think twins?" He ask with a cheeky smile.

"No there is just one growing baby inside there" I state.

"We'll see" Peeta chuckled and finally found the strength to roll off of me. I brought the blanket up to my bare chest and snuggled against his side. He placed an arm around me and began stroking my bare arms. We were silent for a moment and the only sound I could hear was the sound of his beating heart.

"I love you" I mumble.

"I love you too"

Peeta suddenly pushed my head gently off his chest and onto the fluffy pillow, He got up from the bed and I blushed as I caught sight of his naked behind. I sat up on the bed to bringing the blanket up with me to cover my chest.

"Where you going?" I ask him.

"Nature calls" He says and walks out of the bedroom wearing nothing but his skin.

I pushed the covers off me as soon as he shut the door and searched the dark room for my sweatpants and sweatshirt. Once I found my clothes I got dressed and slid back underneath the covers. I waited for a good while for Peeta to come back in the room and when at least twenty minutes passed and Peeta was still not back from his bathroom break I decided to rise from the bed and search for him. I creaked open the door and peered out into the hallway, nothing but silence filled my ears. My heart began to pound in my chest as an eerie feeling crept through my body.

"Peeta?" I called out down the hallway.

No answer.

"Peeta?" I stepped into the hallway and started towards the bathroom, I was just about the place my hand on the doorknob when Peeta's large fist came crashing down against my jaw. I went to scream but he placed his hand on my mouth to keep me from screaming. No this wasn't happening everything was so perfect why did he have to fall into an episode now. He was still naked as a jay bird and his eyes were full of confusion and hatred, He didn't recognize the place he was in.

"What did you do to me mutt? Why am I naked?"

"I love you" Was the only thing I could say to him right now. He had his strong arms around me, one was around my neck and the other around my waist, my back hit his bare chest as he moved us to our bedroom door.

"Don't talk to me like that Katniss Everdeen. Now answer my questions; Why am I naked?"

"Because we were making love" I tell him honestly.

"Lies I would never touch you like that" He spat at me and pushes me into the bedroom.

Why was he having one now? Where they always this random, everything was so perfect, so right and then this had to happen. He pushes me to the floor and I watch him flicker the lights on and search for clothes. He finds his pair of boxers and sweatpants I had discarded and pulled them up leaving only his chest exposed.

"Peeta listen to me, your confused I..."

He approached me and slapped me hard, "Shut up I am tired of hearing you talk mutt. I am tired of trying to kill you and failing miserable at it"

"You don't want to kill me." I approached him and touched his cheek, which was a dangerous move considering he could easily snap my neck with his massive strength.

"Yes I think I do" He made a lunge for me and all I could think about was bringing him back to me. I had completely forgotten about the fact that he could easily kill me and his baby. I remained motionless as the hijacked Peeta came at me with rage in his eyes.

To be continued...


	33. Violence and Loss

We are getting down to the last couple of chapters and all I can say is that I really enjoyed writing this story and I enjoyed all the comments I had gotten from you guys. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read and review this. This chapter is a little bit on the tragic side, but like I said I got to add drama to it in order to start on the second, that is if you all will take them time to read the second one. :) I'm sure you will though, I know you guys will be big supports on that one too. Well please read, enjoy and try not to hate me.

Chapter 33

Violence and Loss

I looked Peeta in the eyes and begged him to come back to me, but it was no use my Peeta was gone for the time being, replaced by this hijacked one. I stood as still as a board not bothering to move out of the way of his first attack. I was hoping something inside of him would recognize me as the women he loved. I wasn't going to run although I knew I should. He was not going to hurt me that was what I kept telling myself over and over again. Peeta was inches away from me. He wasn't going to do it, He wasn't, He wasn't. Peeta approached me, pulled back his fist and wailed me in the face again, he pushed me and I went hurling to the ground with tears in my eyes. I looked up at the man I had been making love to not only a couple minutes ago and saw a totally different person. I saw the monster the capitol created in him. Even now after there defeat of the ruthless capitol; President Snow still has power over me. I felt powerless now as Peeta hovered over top of me and grabbed me by my hair.

"I love you!" I screamed loudly and thrashed against his grip as he dragged me across the floor.

"You sicken me Katniss Everdeen" He yelled.

"Come back to me please"

"I'm here to avenge my family, You murdered them. YOU MURDERED MY BROTHERS."He hits me again.

"No the capitol did" I tell him.

"I remember you killed all of them with your bow and arrows."

"Not real" I shout out, "Nothing you remember at the moment is real"

"Oh yes it is I remember clear as day"

"Your not thinking straight try and remember that you love me"

"Shut up mutt" He hissed and threw me against the side of the bed. My head hit the side of the mattress hard, causing me to see stars. When he hovered over me for the second time I took all the strength I had in my legs and thrust them forward, kicking him square in the shin and then in his manhood. He yelped, turned away from me and grabbed hold of himself in pain. I bolted for our bedroom door and flung it open. My heart pounded in my chest as I headed for the bathroom :it locked from the inside and was the safest place to be at the moment. I should of went there, but the sound of my front door opening and closing caused me to bolt to the top of the stairs instead.

"Hello who's there!" I shouted out in panic.

"Katniss, Are you alright" Delly's voice lingered in the air and it seemed like there was hope for Peeta yet, Between the two of us we would be able to bring him back to his senses. I forgot all about Delly going into town for a couple hours, that she would be back when her business in town was done. She had left so many hours ago that I thought she would not be back for the rest of the night, obviously I was wrong and she had perfect timing to.

"Delly go get Haymitch hurry!" I shout down to her.

"Katniss what's wrong?"

"JUST GO HURRY" I scream.

I could hear Delly's hurried footsteps and the sound of my front door shutting yet again. She was going to get Haymitch just like I had asked her to. In the meantime I would just have to stay clear of Peeta until Haymitch got here and then we could work together in bringing him back into reality. I heard the door to my bedroom slam shut and that could only mean one thing he recovered from the deathly blow to his lower parts and had every intentions in killing me. I should of run down the stairs and hid, waited for Delly to come back through the front door with Haymitch, but instead I turned to face Peeta who was only a couple feet from me. He clutched his hands into a fist and his dark eyes were set on me. I could do this I could bring him back to me.

"You think you are so smart in outwitting me like that don't you" He spat.

"Look at me Peeta please"

"I'm looking at you and all I see is a murderous cow" He hissed.

Tears leaked out of my eyes as the hateful words left his mouth. I knew he didn't mean them, it isn't even my Peeta that was saying these hurtful words to me, it was the capitol's Peeta. The monster that dwelled within Peeta, waiting for a chance to surface and try and kill me. Snow did this to him, created this monstrous side of Peeta and I was not going t stop until I found a way to rid him of that venom. There was no cure that much I knew for sure. I am positive that Snow didn't make a cure to the tracker jacker venom because if he did then so many people suffering from the same thing would go mad in trying to find it and Snow would of had chaos on his hands.

"I'm not a murder baby, please try and remember all the good times" I begged him. He approached me with nothing but rage in his eyes. My mind kept telling me to run, but I refused to listen to it. Peeta and I were only inches apart when I suddenly reached out and tried to hug him.

"Don't touch me cow" He hissed and pushed me back. I was so close to the top of the stairs.

Suddenly my front door opened and I took my eyes off Peeta for a split second to see Delly, Haymitch and Avara enter the living room and bolted to the bottom of the stairs. They were dressed in their nightgowns so I only assumed Delly had pounded on their door so hard that it woke the two of them up from a deep slumber.

"Get away from him Sweetheart" Haymitch ordered.

"I got this Haymitch" I said to him in confidence.

"Sweetheart now!" Haymitch screams, "Get away from him"

I could of ran down the stairs and into safety, but my body would not move an inch. I could do it I could bring him back to me. If I could do this and convince them that Peeta didn't need to go back to the capitol then things would be alright. He wouldn't have to go to that city that was getting attacked by random Peacekeepers, I wouldn't have to worry about him getting killed in that city while looking for a cure that didn't exist. All I had to do was help him sort out his memories. I ignored Haymitch's pleads in getting away from him.

"Peeta,This isn't you" I calmly tell him.

"OH but it is me...I am completely aware of who I am" He grinned wickedly.

"You love me"

Peeta snorted, "Not this again. I would never love a disgusting, murderous, hideous pig like you"

I burst into tears, "Not real whatever it is your remembering is not real."

"Sweetheart Get down here NOW!" Haymitch begged.

"I can do this" I tell him again. I took my eyes off of Peeta again and stared at Haymitch hard. When I looked at Peeta again all I could see is hatred and rage and suddenly I felt threatened, really threatened. I was about to listen to Haymitch and bolt down the stairs to safety, But it was too late Peeta lunged forward and with all the strength he had in his huge arms, he pushed me hard against my chest and sent me tumbling backwards, I screamed as I lost my footing and toppled down the large flight of stairs. I landed with a hard thump on my belly and that was when the pains began to shoot through the lower half of my body. God no. I watched Peeta bolt down the stairs after me, Haymitch was already hovering over me in a protective way, so when Peeta did finally manage to bolt down the stairs after me; Haymitch was able to yank him by his bare neck and bash his head off a nearby wall in order to knock him out cold. The pain was extremely bad it felt like someone was carving up my insides and then that was when I felt a warm liquid between my legs.

"Haymitch Darling we need to get her help" I hear Avara say seriously.

Oh god please don't make me lose him please god spare him. I am so stupid I had a chance to run down the stairs, away from Peeta, but what did I do try and bring him back from the tracker jacker venom. All I wanted to do was bring him back from that episode I could of done it, Right? I let out an agonizing cry as Haymitch lifted my fragile body up into his arms and examined the blood that was seeping through my clothes. Peeta's back was against the wall, his head cocked to the side, eyes closed, He looked like hell and all I wanted to do was wake him up and have those blue eyes stare at me with a loving expression instead of a hateful one. Haymitch sets me on the couch and begins grabbing my shoes and coat. I was in so much pain I couldn't even stand it, my back began to hurt, the pains were harder and stronger than ever. I wanted it to stop. Suddenly I closed my eyes and fell into a deep random sleep. The last thing I remember before going under was the sound of Haymitch's voice saying I was loosing the baby.

I don't know how long I was out for, but when I finally did manage to open my gray eyes I found myself in a white room that wasn't mine. I was no longer in my pajama clothes they had been replaced by a long white hospital gown. I tried sitting up and examine my surroundings more carefully, but the pain in my tummy made it impossible for me to do so. My whole entire body hurt like crazy. I tried to recall the event that had happen last night, but all I could remember was begging Peeta to come back to me and then toppling down the steps. Pain, Agony came shortly after my fall and I remembered Peeta was the one to push me down the stairs. Although it wasn't him it was the hijacked side. I glance at the red numbers on the clock that read noon. I had been out for that long because last time I checked it was about eight something. I laid my aching body back on the bed and stared up at the white ceiling for the longest time before the door to my hospital room opened and my mother came in carrying a tray of orange juice, a muffin and a buttered piece of toast.

"Mom?" I say weakly.

"Honey how are you feeling?"

"Like crap. What happened?"

My mothers face turned sorrowful and she hung her head low. "Sweetie, you must remain calm"

I burst into tears before she even had a chance to tell me anything. "I lost...the baby didn't I?"

A few tears escaped her eyes as well as she nodded her head. I am a horrible monster I killed my baby because I wanted to bring back it's father back from the deadly images. I didn't blame Peeta it was all my fault I should of listened to Haymitch when he told me to run, but no I had to remain stubborn. I had to prove to them that I could bring him back to me, that I could convince him that he didn't need to go back to the capitol, that his cure was me, how very wrong I was. I was stupid and selfish and I had gotten my baby killed. Me. I killed an innocent baby, I Katniss Rose Everdeen needed to be killed for murdering my baby boy or girl. I hate myself with everything I have.

"Where's Peeta?" I ask in a sob.

"Honey he is so broken up, you don't want to see him like this"

"Please I need him" I begged.

She rejects me with the shake of her head, "Honey he won't come anywhere near here"

"Fine then..." I choked out another sob, "Go get me Haymitch"

My mother nods, wipes the tears from her eyes and exits my room to fetch Haymitch. I laid my head against the pillow and placed my hand against my flat tummy and all I did was sob non-stop. The baby was gone thanks to me. Peeta's baby was gone, I hate myself so much. I rubbed my empty stomach multiple times while the tears streamed down my face nonstop. I couldn't stop the tears no matter what. Haymitch entered my hospital room a couple minutes later. He was still wearing his Pajama's so that tells me he had been by my side all night, not bothering to go home, change and shower.

"Are you alright, Sweetheart?"

"No I"m not" I answer with a cry.

There was a silence between us for the longest time and I finally broke that silence.

"Where is he?"

"At my house with Delly" Haymitch replies honestly.

"I need to see him" I say.

Haymitch shakes his head, "He won't come near you now and its because he is afraid an episode will be triggered."

"Dammit Haymitch I need to see him" I cry hysterically, "I need to know what happened."

"He doesn't even know what triggered it" Haymitch says.

"Haymitch just please go get him" I begged him.

"He won't listen to me"

I knew Peeta was suffering so much and he was never going to forgive himself for killing our baby and hurting me in an unspeakable way. What if he decided he was never going to touch me again or even look at me or even come around me. I knew Peeta and he was never going to forgive himself for throwing me down the stairs and killing the baby. I can't believe this was really happening to us. Why after so many years of peace did bad things start happening to us. I thought for a long while then decided to blame everything on Gale. Everything was fine until he showed up on my doorstep and turned my life upside down. It was Gale's fault, he caused Peeta's emotions to rise. I was going to go with that.

"I just want to see him" I say for the final time.

Haymitch was silent, his eyes were closed and he took in deep breaths.

"What's going on Haymitch?"

"Sweetheart, I think I should tell you this now"

"What?"

"He is packing his things"

I sat up on the bed ignoring the pain that shoot through my bed, "NO, it was a freak accident. It wasn't his fault it was mine" I cry and cry until my words don't make any sense, "itzz...nowt, hiz fulat" I cry out feeling like a child taking a tantrum.

"He is going to the capitol in a couple days"

"We are supposed to get married first" I sobbed.

"He don't want to risk anything else happening"

"This is unfair, this was just a random episode it won't happen again"

"He needs to do this sweetheart. He needs to get rid of it"

"THERE IS NO CURE DAMMIT" I scream and cry.

"We will find one"

Haymitch rises from where he was sitting on the chair and leaves me to sob loudly to myself. This was not happening why was this happening to us. Peeta. I needed him so much and now to find out he was feeling so guilty about killing our baby that he was going to leave me and there was nothing I could do about it.

To be continued...


	34. Guilt

Ugh I couldn't stop writting this morning I started this new chapter and before I knew it Bam it was done lol. Gosh my wrist hurts so much from all the writting I have been doing, but chapters must be completed and stories must be written hehe. This chapter is written in Peeta's POV and it is the only chapter is his POV, we got one or two more after this before I start on the second on it will be called Bleeding Diamonds so keep and eye out for it. Please read this chapter and don't forget to review I wanna see if I can hit 300 reviews before this story ends that will be a world record for me. Love you all...Enjoy.

Chapter 34

Guilt

(Peeta's POV)

I hate myself so flipping much right now that all I wanted to do was put a bullet in my head for hurting her so much, for killing my child. How can I have done something so horrible and so rotten to her; hijacked or not there was no excuse for what I did. I'm not going anywhere near her as long as I have this poison in my brain, as long as I represent a danger to her life. I know it is going to kill her, but it is something I need to do. I thought I had mastered sneaking away when an episode threatened to take over, I usually could sense when her life was being threatened by me, but not this time; this time things were different than all the other times. I have no idea what caused my emotions to run wild. Was it because of our passionate lovemaking? Was that what set me off? No. We have made love like that before and nothing ever happened. I didn't know why it happened but I hated myself for it and was determined to get rid of it no matter what. I needed to leave this place and search the very plains of Panem, the very depths of the capitol and hopefully somewhere along the line I will be able to wipe away the fake memories the capitol created and live my life in peace with Katniss. Oh, Katniss I didn't want her to forgive me for abusing her and killing our child and I knew she would forgive me all too easy and that was not what I wanted. I wanted her to curse my name, tell me she hated me, tell me she wanted me dead, call me a murder, Something. I was a murderer and murders were not allowed to live, maybe I would make things simple and put a bullet through my skull as punishment for killing my child. No I didn't want to take my life that would only break Katniss further and I couldn't do that; even though I was certain I deserved to be dead. My mind was made up I knew what I had to do and that was leave Katniss for her own good. I can't believe after five long years things like this were actually happening. We lived so peacefully in district 12 for so long and now everything seems to be fallen out of place.

I was upstairs in Katniss and I's bedroom cleaning out my pants, socks, shirts and just about every piece of clothing I owned. I didn't know if I was coming back or not; it all depends if I find a cure to this thing inside my brain. This thing that made my life a living hell. It took me about a half and hour to clean out my dresser, collect all of my personal belonging and once I was done I swept the room making sure I had every single thing. The room was empty and bare, none of my things were in there. It was like I have been erased from Katniss's life, not a single trace of clothing littered her bedroom. I lifted my bags of clothes and personal belongings and hiked downstairs to where Delly was sitting on the couch, her knees to her chest. She was unhappy with my choice in leaving Katniss, but she just didn't understand that it was for the best. I set my bags at the bottom of the stairs and locked eyes with Delly for a brief moment.

"So your really doing it?" Delly looked at me with nothing but disbelief in her eyes, "Your really going to do this to her?"

"What choice do I have" I say quietly.

"Lots of choices" Delly replies.

"I've made up my mind" I pick up my bags again and walk across the carpet of the living room and set my large bags next to the door, "Besides this is for her own good"

Delly lets out laugh if disbelief and shakes her head multiple times at me. "Do you realize how much she loves you? How much she needs you?"

"And do you realize how much I need to keep her safe" I raise my voice at her louder than I actually meant to, " I love her and it is because I love her that I need to do this"

"What don't you just wait until the two of you get married like you planned"

I shake my head, "Anything can happen in four months"

"So you'll just break her and leave without a second thought?"

I loved Delly to death but she was starting to irritate me. "You don't understand Del. Do you really think I want to do this to her? To leave her alone like this? No I don't want to and it kills me knowing I have to do it."

Delly remains silent, she turned her head away from me and allow me to collect the remaining personal belongings that were downstairs. I didn't have much down here just my coat, shoes and a couple painting hanging on the walls which I was going to leave the paintings on the walls just so Katniss would have a small piece of me with her. Everything was collected and all I had to do was wait for Haymitch to return to his house, shower, eat and then we can have a heart to heart talk. If I was going back to the capitol it was agreed I wouldn't go alone. Haymitch said he was coming with me and so was Effie since it was her home. I took a seat next to Delly on the couch and ignored the deadly glares she was shooting in my direction.

"Do you love her at all?" Delly mumbles under her breath.

"Yes" I reply without having to think about it.

"Then don't do this to her, find another way"

"Del, I can't!" I snapped.

"Can't or won't"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore" I don't want to be reminded that I am a sick horrible human being that kills babies and beats their mothers. Maybe I have to accept the fact I am a monster, that I'll always be a monster and that monsters don't ever have a happy ending. Good I deserve not to be happy, I deserve to go thorough physical and mental pain. I don't deserve the precious gift of life, my baby does and I don't deserve to be with Katniss. I deserve to be locked up in one of the capitol's dungeon and tortured to death. Maybe if I fail in finding a cure then Paylor would grant me my wish and lock me up. One thing is for sure if I don't find something or someone that will help me get rid of this venom then I am not coming back to Katniss. I am not going to keep putting her life in danger because of some sick and twisted thing that had happened to me. She deserved to be happy and all I did was cause her to cry, maybe I should of convinced her to be with Gale right from the beginning, maybe I should of never got involved with her after the wars. All these questions, thoughts and concerns buzzed in my head. A loud pounding came from the front door, Delly slid off the couch and answered it.

"Where is he!" Came the loud and deadly voice of Gale. Whatever he wanted to do to me I was all for it. I get up off the couch and face him. His eyes were darker than normal, he clutched both his hands into fists and was descending on me.

"Delly can you go see if Haymitch is back yet" I ask her. I didn't want her to see Gale bash my face in.

Delly looks between Gale and me, nods her head, scoops up one of my bags and was out the door and as soon as she was out of sight Gale was in front of me. I was going to let him beat me to a bloody pulp that was what I deserved. Gale raised his fist and was just about to strike me hard in the jaw, but quit for reasons unknown to me.

"Didn't I tell you not to hurt her!" Gale yelled.

"I didn't do it on purpose" I yelled back.

"Why would you push her down the stairs" Gale pulled back his fist and this time proceeded in punching me in the face. I stumbled backwards and held the side of my jaw and made no attempt in defending myself from Gale's neck punch, "What is wrong with you Mellark? You killed your baby! You beat the hell out of her! I thought you loved her!" Gale is screaming at the top of his lungs punching me left and right, blood oozed from my nose and my the corner of my mouth.

"I do love her" I mumbled and waited for Gale's fist to come in contact with my face again.

"She miscarried your baby because of you and now what's this shit I hear you are leaving district 12 and going back to the capitol to search for something to help your venom shit" Gale grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pushed me to the ground, I banged my off the hard ground, seeing stars for a brief second. I rose to my feet, my whole face covered in blood.

"You...got to..take...care...of her" I managed to choke out.

"She doesn't want me she wants you. She has been crying for you all morning and you won't go to her" He finally decided to stop hitting me and take a seat on the couch. I wish he would continue to beat the hell out of me. I deserved it.

"I didn't...mean to...hurt her like that" I cough and wipe the blood forming in my mouth on my shirt.

"Well guess what you did. Now get your ass to that hospital now or my promise to you is voided"

"Gale, I can't ever go near her as long as I have this venom in me" I said.

"What the hell is this venom?"

So I tell him everything there was to tell about the tracker jacker venom. How I was kidnapped by the capitol a couples years back, tortured for information I didn't have the answers to. How they manipulated some of my memories of Katniss. How they tried and convinced me that Katniss was the bad guy, that she tried to kill me and that she did kill my family, how she was a mutt.

"So you have outbursts where you try to kill Katniss because of this stuff?"

"Yes, I have to get rid of it Gale. I already killed our baby. What if next time I really do kill her"

Gale was silent.

"You got to take care of her" I said.

"You know I will do that"

"I don't know if I'll be back and if that's the case then..." He punched me again before I could finish my sentence.

"You better damn well come back to her because If you don't so help me god I will hunt you down to the end of the earth and kill you myself."

I smirked and rubbed my jaw, "I thought you of all people would be glad to see me go"

"I would be glad if it didn't hurt her so much. I would say get the hell out of town and drop dead somewhere, but my best friend is head over heels in love with you. I see that clearly now and its taken everything I have inside of me to accept that fact and I will do everything I can to make her happy including making sure you promise to return to her after you find that stupid cure. When you do leave her You will promise her you'll come back"

I sighed, "Fine"

"Fine!"

"Just make sure she doesn't do anything reckless why I am gone"

"Fine I'll keep her happy while your gone" He promises.

I hold out my hand for him to shake it, but he merely brushes it off, rises from the couch and stalks off towards the door without another word to me. After he leaves I take the time to wash the blood off my face and try to cover up the red marks he left. Gale Hawthorne sure knows how to hit hard I clean myself up and after one last look at Katniss's place, I picked up my two remaining bags and head over to Haymitch's house. I knocked a couple times and Haymitch's girlfriend answers the door and allows me to come in and set my bags by the door, Delly is sitting on the couch and when she sees the red marks Gale left on my face. She shakes her head and continues to stare at a spot on the floor.

"Haymitch will be here in a couple minutes" Avara says leading me over to the couch. She made me sit down and stalked off into the kitchen to pour me some green tea. I drank the tea as soon as Avara gave me a glass. I set the empty cup on the coffee table and waited patiently for Haymitch to return to his house from the hospital. When he finally did step through his front door, he looked like hell He was still wearing his Pajama's from last night, his hair was sticking up in every direction and he smelled kind of bad. He shot me a look before going upstairs to take a shower and change into some decent looking clothes. I sat there for another twenty minutes before Haymitch came rolling downstairs looking more presentable than usual.

"How is she?" I asked when he entered the living room.

"Not good, she keeps crying for you" Haymitch said.

"You know I can't go to her" I mutter.

Haymitch nods, "I know. It's just really hard for her now"

"I know and I am going to set things right" I say.

"I know you will and I'm going to help you boy" Haymitch's eyes wandered to the kitchen where Avara was making him a cup of tea like she did me. He was going to leave her behind as well. There was no way he was going to let her come to the capitol to help me. My eyes wandered towards Delly and tears sprinkle down her cheeks.

"I want to help to" Delly says.

"Move in with her, help Gale make sure she doesn't do nothing reckless"

"Gale?" Haymitch and Delly yelled in union.

"Your having Gale look after her?" Delly questions me.

"Smooth move" Haymitch rolls his eyes.

"He's her friend guys. He'll take care of her"

Neither of them said anything to me which was good because I was getting sick and tired of talking about this. I leaned back against the couch and watched the minutes on the clock tick away. It was hard to believe that this was my last day here in district 12, but in the end it will all be worth it, in the end I will find my cure and restore my sanity that I had lost for nearly five years, all I had to do was take a trip to the capitol and pray I survive the peacekeepers that have been threatening to overthrow the city.

to be continued...


	35. Pleas

To unknown reviewer or whatever, this is **NOT** I repeat is** NOT** going to be like a hunger game version of Twilight I absolutely cannot stand that series ( No offense to you guys out there) I hate all four of them, who ever heard of a freaking glittering vampire. Anyway don't get me started on twilight, I am not trying to make it sound like that... UGH now that you told me that I'm going to have to change it up a bit. It would be great to throw Edward into the arena and watch his pretty glossy skin get bashed to bits, Although he would probably become victor because of his stupid vampire abilities, but hey a girl came dream. Another thing I am really sorry about my grammar and spelling I try really hard to catch things, but sometimes I miss it, After this is done I should go back and fix everything, I hope the grammar doesn't bother you. I can't be perfect I am only human :). Anyway enjoy the chapter We got one more after this and then onto the second story. :) I can't wait.

Chapter 35

Pleas

They released me from the hospital the next day after they made sure my body was functioning normally. They told me I was fine, that I could still have kids, that my body wasn't the least bit damage. The hard impact from the fall down the stairs is what did it, what took my baby from this world and when they had asked me how I managed to fall I told them I tripped over my own feet. I wasn't going to tell them the baby's father had a mental breakdown and pushed me. My mother knew the truth but yet didn't say anything and let me cover for Peeta. I still had a lecture coming from my mother about getting pregnant, but now was not a good time for it and she left me alone for the time being because I was suffering so much. My mother, Delly and Haymitch all escorted me home when the doctor said I could be released and when I got there and up to my room I nearly died. He did it, he actually collected all of his things that were in the house. There wasn't a single thing in this room that remained me of him; except maybe his scent that still lingered on the bed sheets. All his clothes were gone, his tooth brush, everything. I held back tears that were forming in my eyes and cautiously walked back downstairs to find Delly helping my mother with lunch. I didn't want lunch or anything to eat. I just wasn't in the mood for it. I threw myself on the couch and brought my legs up to my chest. Delly entered the living room and took a seat next to me. She must of sensed my discomfort because she wrapped an arm around me and gently pecked the side of my head in a comforting way. I didn't want to be here at the moment, I wanted to be next door at Haymitch's house, begging Peeta to forgive himself, begging him to stay here in 12. With everything that was going on in the capitol, peacekeepers, shootings, assassination attempts, I didn't want him in there. The news may of said it wasn't the least bit bad that this had happened alot. I was not convinced at all that these Peacekeepers were not a danger or threat to anyone. I knew what they were like, how they could be ruthless to people and how they were so loyal and so willing to die for president Snow. These people were trained to be the old capitols strength.

"Katniss, Are you alright?" Delly asks out of concern.

"No" The words barely escaped my mouth.

"He loves you and thats all you got to remember" Delly said.

"I need him Del"

"I know"

"Where is he Delly?" I was going to force her to tell me weather she liked it or not. I looked into her eyes, giving her a pleading look. The look was between despair, anger and fear. I just had to sucker Delly into telling me where he was , I knew how to push her button and by doing so she would eventually spill the beans as to where he was hiding out. I had a pretty good idea where he was. Haymitch's house. That was the only place I could think of that he would be. I laid my head against the arm of the couch and stared up at the painting that still remained hanging above my fireplace. At least he didn't take those off the walls. I was glad I would have at least something to look at that reminded me of him. He was over at Haymitch doing who knows what, I wanted to go to him, wrap my arms around him and never let go. Delly placed a hand on my shoulder and patted my head. She then stroked my head as I burst into tears at the thought of him leaving and never returning. Screw this... it was not for my own good that he was leaving; if anything it would make situations worse than they already are. I needed to see him so badly right now and nothing was going to get in my way. I rose from my sitting position so quickly it gave Delly a fright at my sudden movements. I stomped my way over towards my front door, not bothering to slip on my shoes or coat.

"Where you going?" Delly questions and hops off the couch with me.

"To get Peeta back" I say opening the door, the cool air hit me in the face and goose bumps started to cover both my arms,

"Katniss, Please put on a coat" Delly yelled after me, but it was too late I was already outside in nothing but my Pajama pant, socks and long-sleeve shirt. I really was trying to catch the flu or get hypothermia, but I didn't care. All I cared about was talking to Peeta, convincing him that everything will be alright. The snow was coming down thick and hard now. Since when did this happen it was like a blizzard outside. It was clear when we came home from the hospitol, but I didn't care that large flakes flickered against my exposed skin, I didn't care that the snow beneath my socks felt like a thousands knives were sticking into the bottom of my feet. I trudged through the deep snow without a coat and without shoes, determined to get to Haymitch's house and see if my hunch was right, to see if Peeta was there. Delly was calling my name while in the process of pulling on her shoes and coat. Here I am no coat, no shoes walking through the snow in the dead of winter during a blizzard trying to get to the house next door and back to the man I loved. I was a real mental case. Delly's shouts vanished in the distances and all I could here was the soft pats of snowflakes as they gently pounded against my head and ears. I made it to Haymitch's front door and began pounding on it as hard as I could. It flew open and as soon as Haymitch saw me he pulled me inside quickly.

"Are you trying to catch your death out there?" Haymitch scolded me and rubbed the goose bumps that were all over my arms.

"Where is he?"

"Sweetheart I don't think you should be..." I pushed past him as soon as I caught sight of Peeta sitting by the warm fire with his hands folded, his head down and his eyes shut tightly. He looked like hell his hair was sticking up in every direction and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. I took a step towards him but Haymitch pulled me back gently. He let one hand drop from my arm and shut the door, blocking the cold air that was seeping into his warm house. Avara was in the kitchen making tea and chatting with someone. I didn't care who it was, Although my instincts told me it could only be Effie. I tried shrugging out of Haymitch's tight grip and make my way over to Peeta, who was still unaware of my presence.

"He told me not to allow you near him"

"I don't care Haymitch, let go of me!" I snapped and pulled my arm out of his grip.

"He's a mess sweetheart and I don't think..."

"Peeta" I say his name so he is aware I am here and that he is not going to keep me from seeing him. His eyes snap open, he bolts off the couch and distances himself farther from me. I approach him as quickly as I can, not letting him get any farther away from me. I fling my arms around him and bury my head into his warm chest. He is not holding me back and that was when I started to sob uncontrollably. Finally after what seems like ages of crying and whimpering like a 2 year old, Peeta pushes me back a bit so I am no longer leaning against his chest.

"Katniss?" His voice is so low and its full of despair.

"Don't push me away" I cry and try and fling my arms around his neck, but he simply would not allow that and held me at arms length.

"I'm so sorry Katniss I'm so sorry" And then tears begin to stream down his face.

"Don't leave me please don't leave me" I am almost on my knees begging him not to go back to that horrible place. It didn't matter who was in the capitol weather it was Paylor or Snow or Coin or just some random President. The capitol would always be a place of nightmares, a place of blood and guts, Nobody was safe there, nobody was safe in the world of Panem. Haymitch's door opens again and a cold looking Delly comes in. She is out of breath, her cheeks are rosy, her breath is heavy. I paid very little attention to Delly and stared at Peeta who held me at arms length. I wanted so badly to press my lips against his, snuggle deep into his warm chest. When I tried wiggling my way back into his arms. He abandoned me completely and distances himself from me again.

"Sweetheart, I think maybe you should go home now" Haymitch said.

"No, I'm not going back without you" I answered Haymitch's question, but was talking to Peeta.

"I can't hurt you again" Peeta says quietly.

"Your not going to hurt me"

Peeta's face hardens and his eyebrows dip into a V-shape. He looks angry. "I killed our baby Katniss, I'll kill you next time. I'm not going back with you" He hisses.

"It wasn't your fault okay you have no control over..." He cuts me off.

"That's always your excuse isn't it. Oh Peeta you have no control over you venom, Oh Peeta I'll risk my life if it means you'll stay with me. You need to start caring about yourself a little more"

"I do care about myself" I say with tears streaming down my face.

"Then why can't you see that I represent a danger for you? That it is best that I leave and find something that will help me be like I used to be before Snow screwed me up so bad."

"I love you too damn much Peeta thats why. Thats why I can't react how you want me to react. I can't stay calm while you wander around the capitol. I can't stay calm knowing there is people that want things back to the way the used to be"

"Why can't you accept the fact that I don't want to hurt you like I hurt our baby. Don't you see how monstrous I can become by the slightest rise in emotion"

"Why can't you see that I can't function without you that we need to do this together."

"Why can't you see I value your life more than anything in this world."

"More than your love for me"

"Yes."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes Katniss I do" Peeta replied.

"Then let me go with you"

"No"

I was not going to give into him not without a fight. I approached him again only to have him back up some more. My heart ached in agony every time he would distance himself from me. We were silent for a couple seconds then I turned and stared at Haymitch. He was running a hand through his hair, leaning on a nearby wall with his legs crossed. Delly was next to him, She looked between Peeta and I hoping that we would find some sort of agreement. Which I knew Peeta had his mind set on going to the capitol and there wasn't a thing I could do to change that. Suddenly anger filled my body at the thought of him leaving.

"If the capitol means more to you than I do go!" I hiss. I really didn't mean the words I have said and I wish I could take them back, but that was too late. Everyone in the room looked completely shocked at what I had just said. Peeta especially.

"The capitol means nothing to me, You mean more to me than life itself and I am doing this for you alright get that through your head!" He hissed.

Haymitch cuts into the conversation, "Sweetheart, He won't be going alone"

"What are you going with him?" I question.

He nods, "The boy needs someone to guide him"

"Can't we get married first?"

"Too risky" He mumbles.

I shake my head at the two of them, shot Peeta a glare then finally decide to make my way to the door and leave without saying another word, but before I could get my hand on the doorknob and go out in the cool air. Someone's hand shoots out and grabbed my wrist. I turned around to find Peeta only an inch away from me.

"Can you please put a jacket..." Taking advantage of his closeness I crushed my lips against his not caring who was around to see. I wrapped my hands around his neck and played with strands of blond hair at the base of his neck. He was not holding me back, but he was kissing me lightly. The kiss only lasted a couple of seconds before he pushed me away and stepped back a couple of feet.

"Put on a jacket and shoes please"

Haymitch opens the closet door beside his front door and pulls out a large pair of shoes which were to big for me, but will have to do. He then throws a large coat around me and pats me gently on the shoulder. Delly headed out into the blizzard first, but I took my time. Before stepping foot outside Haymitch's door I turned an stared into Peeta's eyes.

"Is this the last time I am going to see you"

"No, I'm not going to abandon you" He said.

For some reason this angers me, "Yeah right!" I spat. I was out of the warm comfort of Haymitch's living room, slamming the door and now making my way to my house. Alone. Was he going to say goodbye to me or was he simple going to go to the train station without a word to me. I couldn't stand this, I couldn't stand this distance between us and it was only going to get bigger. I knew he loved me and I knew this all was for me and I had to come to terms with it, but it was just so hard. All I wanted him to do was spend one more night with me before going to that miserable place. At least he wasn't going alone, Haymitch was going, which that kind of makes me feel a little better. I made my way through the blizzard and back into my house, opening the door I was greeted by that same warmth from Haymitch's living room. I entered the house, kicked off Haymitch's oversized shoes, shut the door behind me and did nothing but sob at my failure to bring him home with me.

To be continued...


	36. My Fire, My Flames Gone

Well this is it the last chapter, I am done with this one and onto the sequel hehe I can't wait I almost got the first chapter written. God I love typing I should go back to school and get a degree in writing its alot better than looking at cones lol jk. anyway the sequel will be up soon so don't fret about how I end this story, there is still so many questions that need to be answered.

Chapter 36

My Fire, My Flames. Gone.

The next couple of days were completely horrible for me. I paced around the entire house, cleaned the entire house and every once in awhile popped in on Haymitch to see how things were progressing. Delly moved in with me as a promise to Peeta and I had no objections about that. I guess I could use a little girl time, being stuck with only my mother for company wasn't really going to fly with me. I was still waiting for her to scold me on getting pregnant and having sex, But it still hasn't came. Maybe she was not going to scold me or yell at me for getting pregnant just because I no longer am going to have a baby. I guess it didn't matter now. I was in the process of scrubbing the kitchen sink when a soft knock on my door made me drop the wash cloth and peel off the rubber gloves that I wore on my hands so the chemicals didn't touch my bare skin. I peeled the gloves off and stalked towards the door, I pulled it open slowly and came face to face with my blond-headed lover. I wanted to kiss him so badly, to wrap my arms around him and force him to stay. The look in his eyes told me that it was time for him, Haymitch and Effie to go back to the capitol and search for that cure. I stepped sideways and allowed him in, he wouldn't come into the house. He was at my door by himself. We were all alone and I knew he was scared to be alone with me.

"Do you wanna come in?" I asked softly.

"I can't" He mumbled.

"Then why you here"

"To say goodbye" That did it tears started to run down my face. I was surprised when he gently pulled me against his body and allowed me to lay my head softly against his chest. He stroked me multiple times as I cried. We stayed like that for a good ten minutes and not once did I feel threatened by him, not once did he look like he was going to lose his mind and come at me. When he tried to pull away I wrapped my hands around him tighter not letting space between us. I looked up at him with nothing but tears in my gray eyes. He wiped them away with his thumbs. I leaned up and gently kissed him on the lips, something I have been dying to do for so long.

"Are you going to come back to me?" I question.

"I don't know Katniss" He said softly.

"How can you not know" I cry.

"All you got to remember is that I love you"

"I love you too" I whimper.

"Got to remember I am doing this because I love you so damn much" He says and leans forwards to kiss me quickly, "I need to get rid of this venom once and for all not only that I need to clear my head of things"

"Why can't I come with you?"

"Because I can easily hurt you, Haymitch and I want to trigger as many episodes as we can. Maybe just maybe I'll say something, do something. I have to relive my torture I just know Snow was hiding something the day they injected me with the stuff. I have to remember what happen during my time in the Capitol"

"Your wasting your time you do realize that"

"Maybe, Maybe not"

"Can I please come with you?" I knew he was going to say No, but it was worth a shot.

"No" He replies.

"Please" I beg and plea.

He sighs heavily and takes a hand off of me to run it through his thick blond hair. God I loved this man in front of me and it was so hard to let him go. He was my fire, he was my flames and now he was leaving me and now my fire and flames were burning out. I hugged him again, resting my chin on his left shoulder, that was when I noticed Haymitch standing there with so many suitcases in his hands and by his feet. I paid very little attention to Haymitch. I inhaled Peeta's scent trying to remember every bit of it. He always smelled extremely good, like vanilla and sugar. I wonder what he was going to do about the bakery. I was going to be completely pissed if he left Ceal in charge. That blonde-headed bimbo didn't even know how to work that cash register properly let alone run the whole bakery. I lifted my head off his shoulder and stared at him.

"What about your bakery?" I was going to hit him if he said he left Ceal in charge.

"I left Broton in charge" That good that was one of Peeta's good friends. Broton was very smart and would have no trouble at all in running the shop. I was so relieved that the wicket witch of the west was not going to be in charge. I placed my lips on Peetas for a good long minutes before he gently pushed me away and looked over his shoulder and nodded in Haymitch's directions indicating he was ready to go to the train station. I felt the tears swell up in my eyes as I watched him begin to walk down my steps. I suddenly ran after him not bothering to shut my door and not bothering to put a coat on to protect myself from the cold weather. Peeta stopped in his tracks as I slid my hand into his.

"I wanna see you off" I say quietly.

"Get a jacket on please" He calmly said.

I nod and bolt up the steps to slide on my hunting jacket, it was nice and warm inside the thick material. I shut my door this time and return to Peeta's side. I intertwined our fingers and followed them to the train station.

"I asked Gale to look after you" Peeta said after a moment of silence.

"You really shouldn't of asked him to do that" I mutter.

"He seemed like the best choice at the time"

"Gale is a bit lacking in the comfort department."

"You won't need comfort because you are going to remain strong"

"I can't" My voice was barely audible but somehow he still managed to hear me. He stopped dead in his tracks and dropped the suitcase he was carrying to the ground. He took my face between his hands and I could of sworn I heard Haymitch mumble something Like 'for the love of god kids', but I didn't care Haymitch could deal with it and maybe if I was lucky Peeta would miss his train, that would be so tragic. Not. If he missed his train he would just catch the next one. I looked into his beautiful ocean blue eyes and melted. When was I going to stare into those eyes again, a week? A month? A year? Will I ever see them again.

"Look at me, Your going to be strong. Your going to hunt with your best friend, Your going to smile everyday, your going to hang out and let those annoying people you call prep team do your hair and nails, You and Del are going to have you girl time. Your going to be happy and before you know it I'll be home ready to marry you"

"Promise?"

He nods, kisses me and scoops his bags off the ground and starts walking again. Its not long before we reach the train station, tears start to run down my face again, I view myself as such a little crybaby, but I honestly cannot help it. The train remains me of the one we used on the victors tour. Haymitch takes the bags inside, he has already said his goodbyes to his girlfriend and everyone that he cares about. Obviously Avara took it much better than me. Effie was already on board, when she heard our voice she poked her head out of the doorway and shot me a smile. I couldn't shoot one back because my mood went from bad to worse.

"Come one now trains about to leave" Effie says to Haymitch, her words bounce around in my brain and all I could do was cry again. He was really leaving me. He was really going back to the capitol to find a cure. I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed the life out of him. Haymitch was in the process of gathering the bags around us. I was really worried about him to, he was in fact the closest thing I had to a father and there was a good chance of him being killed as well. Maybe I was being paranoid, maybe things were not so bad in the capitol. Maybe I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I untangled myself from Peeta, told him not to go nowhere, I stalked over to where Haymitch was loading the train with the bags.

"No goodbyes to Avara?"

"We have had our goodbyes yesterday" He grinned deviously and raised his brows up and down.

"Ugh gross" I mumbled.

Haymitch snickered then his face turned serious, "Are you going to be alright?"

"I don't know" I tell him honestly.

"I'll look after the boy"

"Please do and please stop him from doing anything he shouldn't" I said.

"You worry too much Sweetheart"

"Please be careful" I say and pull the old man into a bone crushing hug. My worries for Haymitch increased, "I love you" Haymitch looked completely shocked at my words, but I had to tell him I loved like I would my father. His cheeks turned red and he ran a hand through his hair and smirked at me.

"I am too old for you and your not my type" He joked.

I playfully slapped him. "You know what I mean"

" I love you too sweetheart"

"Be careful"

"Of course"

Haymitch grinned, pecked me on the forehead and told Peeta he had five minutes to suck-face with me, say his goodbyes or the train was leaving without him. I didn't mind if the train left him here. I was surprised that I was the only one that was seeing him off. He probably already had a heart to heart with Delly and the others. I wrapped my arms around his neck and found myself back in his arms.

"Tell me you love me"

"I love you"

"Tell me you will be back"

He paused for a moment, "I might"

"Please! Tell me you'll be back"

He was silent.

"Tell me you will forgive yourself for everything that has happened"

"I can't"

"Kiss me?"

He leaned forward and caught my lips in his driving us both into a deep and passionate kiss. When we broke I took the time in running my hands through his blonde hair. Our foreheads were pressed together and our eyes were closed. We were listening to each others heartbeat.

"Katniss?" His voice was so deep and so serious.

"Hmm?"

"Will you do me a favor?"

"Hmm?" I repeat.

"Will you try and be happy with someone if I don't make it back?"

I wiggled out of his arms and stared at him, my eyes were boring into his as if he just said some horrible thing to me and that what those words were. Horrible. How could he expect me to move on if he didn't make it back from the Capitol. Why wouldn't he make it back from the capitol. Why would he tell me he was going to come back before I knew it and marry me and then turn around and say something like this. Why tell the one thing and then turn around and tell me another.

"No" I say in almost a hiss. "I will not move on Peeta. How could you ask that?"

He is silent.

"HUH!"

"I don't know" He mumbles.

He isn't making much sense, I really wish I knew what was going on in his head. What he was thinking, But I guess I'll never know. The train made a loud beeping noise and Peeta looked to where Haymitch was standing at the entrance of the train. Haymitch tapped his wrist indicating it was time to go. This wasn't happening He was not just going to walk out of my life like this and after saying something so bad to me like: 'be happy with someone else' Did he know something I didn't. Did he think he was not coming back.

"I got to go"

'Don't do this please" I cried.

"I don't have a choice" He said calmly.

I snapped, "Yes you do, Dammit Peeta it was an accident"

I knew why he was doing this, one he really did want to find a cure and two he was leaving me because of the baby. He didn't want to be around me anymore because he caused me to miscarry and I knew he was never going to forgive himself for it. I watch all kinds of emotions flood into his face.

"I'm a murderer Katniss ALRIGHT. Just let me deal with this in my own way. Let me find a damn cure on my own" He shouts.

"Your coming back to me" I demanded.

"I don't know! I don't Know KATNISS!" He shouts.

"Fine then GO! I guess I don't really mean..." He cut me off.

"Stop it! You know you mean everything to me" He says and tries to approach me.

"Yeah that is why you want me to move on with someone else. Just take this back if you want me to move one." I slide the ring off my finger and threw it at him. I didn't know why the sudden outburst of anger occurred, but I knew it wasn't fair to take my anger out on him. As soon as my ring hit the ground I felt the sudden urge to dive after it and slide it back on.

"BOY LETS GO!" Haymitch yells out.

Peeta was silent for a moment, "Are we done then?"

"Do you want to be done?"

"Do you?"

"No"

"Okay then" He picks up his large bag that was by his feet and without another word to me began walking towards the entrance of the train.

"I LOVE YOU!" I shout after him.

"I love you too" He says as he enters the train. Tears covered my eyes as he disappeared from sight. The train pulled out of a station and it felt like a hole has just been ripped into my heart. In a matter of minutes the train was gone and so was Peeta, Haymitch and Effie. I drop to my knees and cried for what seems like an eternity. He was gone, he was really gone. I rose to my knees and wiped the slush off my pants. I suddenly began scanning the entire station hoping I could find my ring that I threw at him. When I finally did manage to find the little pearl ring that was half-buried in the snow. I cried and slid it on my ring finger, this is never going to come off my finger as long as he is gone. I should of never threw this at him. Peeta was my Fire, He was my flames, he was my whole world. Now my Fire and Flames were gone, burned out never to be ignited again. All I had to do now was wait for the day he would come back to District 12, healthy and happy. Normal. In a way it was for his own good to leave. I just wish we would of been on better terms when he left. I loved him and I will always love him even if he decides to stay away from me forever. I would always have a piece of him as long as I keep hold of this ring. He was not going to get away from me so easily.

The end.

OMG its all over :(. I really hope the ending wasn't too bad. I just want to take this time to thank every single person that reviewed and read this story. You guys are the best and very supportive. Usually I don't finish a story unless I have support and you guys provided me with enough of that to keep me going. This really is the best thing I have written and I am glad most of you enjoyed it. Like I said there will be a second one and hopefully you like that one as much as the one and it means alot to me that you guys look past my grammar mistakes and focus only on the story. Again thank you so much for everything and the second one should be up real soon because I have the first chapter written hehe. What can I say I love typing and writing. I'll see you guys really soon.


	37. AN

First chapter to the squeal is up and ready for reviews lol. I hope you all enjoy it and take the time to push the tiny little review button lol. The squeal takes place three weeks after Peeta leaves Katniss. The summary is inside the frist chapter so make sure you read it and determine if it is something your interested in. I really hope you all like this second story I know I am going to make it much longer than my first and it is going to take me a whole lot longer to fiish, but no worries I won't abandon it or anything. But I will say this if it isn't done by July I will have to abandon it for two weeks because I am taking an awsome trip out of the country hehe. Anyway thank you For supporting me on this story and hopefully you can do the same on the next.


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